Skylanders Short Stories: The Original Complete Collection
by Spookyrus
Summary: A collection of six really bad stories I wrote between 2014 and early 2016, here because they were taking up too much room in my library. If you want to revisit the old series (or read something terrible), you're in the right place. Including Swappable Stoppable, Pop Fizz of DOOM!, Blank Out, The Birth of Dark Spyro, Sunburn and Stealth Elf, and Sidekicks. With author commentary.
1. Swappable Stoppable: 1

|| _**Heyo!**_ Welcome to the original Skylanders Short Stories, an old series of mine that I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote and has since been discontinued in favor of a reboot. This is the first installment, titled _"Swappable Stoppable"._ It's... really bad, and I'm ashamed of it. But, if you're into really bad fanfiction, or are looking for a ridiculous laugh, or are just looking to see what my old writing was like, or looking to read the place where Skylanders Short Stories started, then this is the place to be. Without any further ado, let's get into it. ||

* * *

 **SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SWAPPABLE STOPPABLE**

 _January 2014 - June 2014_

Stealth Elf wants to train under Trap Shadow, but being a life element, that's a bit impossible. But when something occurs between her and Spyro during a battle, she just might get her wish. But can the forest elf and the purple dragon handle what it brings?

 **Chapter One**

"Trap... Shadow..."

Stealth Elf watched dreamily as Trap Shadow taught his class. Sunburn stared at her strangely from a distance. "She's been doing that for half an hour..." he muttered. "Obsessive."

Whirlwind joined him, glanced at him, then stared in the direction he was facing. "Are you watching Stealth Elf watching Trap Shadow?" she asked.

"Um... yeah," Sunburn replied.

"Got a crush?"

"W-W-W-What?! **No!** We're not even close to the same species!"

Whirlwind rolled her eyes. "Then why are you staring so blankly at her?"

"She's the one staring blankly," Sunburn said. "She doesn't have irises!" He sighed. "I'm just a little worried about her. She's been watching that class since it began."

Whirlwind glanced back at the elf. "She looks enchanted with that Magic SWAP Force guy," she said. "Didn't he train in the same martial art as her?"

"Yep," Sunburn responded. "She probably wants to train under him instead of-"

"Let's go talk to her!"

"Wait, what?"

Whirlwind not-so-subtly bounded over to Stealth Elf. "Hey Stealth!" she exclaimed. Stealth leaped a mile in the air.

"W-W-W-W-Whirlwind!" she cried. "H-H-How long have you been s-standing there?"

"Not as long as I have been." Sunburn trotted over to the girls. "Why you so obsessive all of a sudden? I haven't seen you that flustered since that time we were on that mission and Kaos did that thing with the-"

Stealth snapped his beak shut. "I thought we agreed to _never speak of that again."_

Sunburn's face turned pink and he pointed at Stealth's hand. She let go and the phoenix hybrid took a deep breath. "Noted," he finally said. "But seriously, what's going on?"

"Are you in looooooooove~?" Whirlwind poked Stealth's stomach.

"What?! **No!** " Stealth Elf exclaimed. "Maybe? Ugh, I don't know what love feels like!" She turned back around to watch the class. Trap Shadow was demonstrating how to center your power and release it upon your foe. Spyro and Voodood had it down, Pop Fizz and Dune Bug were still struggling.

Stealth Elf didn't turn back to Sunburn and Whirlwind. Sunburn snapped his fingers (claws?) in her face. Nothing happened. He did it again. Repeatedly. Still nothing. Whirlwind sighed, then slapped Stealth across the face. "Snap out of it!"

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Stealth exclaimed. "I just really wish that I could train under Trap Shadow instead of..." She muttered the name under her breath.

"Who?" Sunburn asked.

"You know, you stupid!" Whirlwind cried. "It's Stink Bomb!"

Stealth Elf facepalmed. "Slap me again. Put me out of my misery."

"What's wrong with Stink Bomb?" Whirlwind questioned.

"Well, let's see here," Stealth began. "He's immature, there's nothing that he can teach me, and he smells _horrid!"_

"Strewth!" Sunburn cried.

"The Aussie accent doesn't work for you," Whirl growled. "Now focus! Our friend has a problem." She blinked. "Woah woah, back it up. What's this about him not being able to teach you anything?"

"Please!" Stealth laughed. "He claims to have been trained in ninjitsu, but my master had more skill than he could dream of."

"He could teach you how to throw a shuriken," Sunburn suggested.

Stealth folded her arms. "I do not need to know how to throw a shuriken," she replied. "Now _Trap Shadow_ on the other hand, has so much to teach! If I could learn what he's teaching Spyro and the others, I could be _unstoppable!"_

Whirl and Sunburn exchanged glances. "Now let's not get carried away..."

Stealth grumbled. "Forget you guys," she grumbled, stomping away. She sat down next to the enchanted pool, where Rufus normally stands, and muttered under her breath.

"Woo-hoo, that was a rush!" Stealth Elf glanced over her shoulder to see Spyro approaching. "I gotta tell ya, Trap Shadow is an _amazing_ mentor!"

 _(Go ahead, rub it in...)_ Stealth thought to herself.

"I swear, he's even bringing out Pop Fizz's potential!"

 _(Shut up!)_

"Oh hey, here he is now!"

 _(W-W-W-What?!)_

"Hey Trap Shadow!" Spyro exclaimed. "This is my friend Stealth Elf!"

Trap Shadow nodded. "Yes, I know," he replied. "I've seen you around, forest elf. You are highly skilled in combat, it is truly impressive. I am certain my colleague Stink Bomb will bring out your true potential."

Stealth stared blankly at him. Spyro waved his hand in front of her face. "Stealth? Ste-ealth!"

Trap Shadow chuckled. "Well, I take it you've seen me as well."

Suddenly, there was a loud "KA-BOOM!" and the three stumbled. "What was that?!" Spyro exclaimed.

Flynn dashed over. "Okay, I don't know what that was, but it's messing up my ship!"

Tessa rushed to his side. "It's Kaos' minions!" she exclaimed. "Ugh, doesn't he ever give up?!"

"Don't worry about it," Spyro called. "I'll take care of this! How hard can it be? It's only one ship!" He zoomed over to the gate. "I'm gonna use the stuff you taught me, Trap Shadow! It's show time!"

Stealth scowled as he left. "Oh no you don't!" She followed him out and found herself faced with a fleet of Drows and Greebles. "Woah." She stretched out her arms and legs, then readied her daggers. "Let's do this."

She leaped out and immediately disappeared. The Greebles watched in confusion as one of their own started beating themselves up.

Meanwhile, Spyro was flying circles around the Greebles, avoiding shots from the Drows. "Born to battle!" He spewed fireballs at them, easily killing them off in one shot. "Yeah, I'm all fired up!"

Stealth leaped in front of a pair of Spearmen and folded her arms. "Now you see me..." One of them freaked out and attempted to stab her. "...now you don't!" The Drow blinked and exchanged glances with the other, who shrugged. Stealth reappeared behind them. "You two are an embarrassment to our species," she laughed. They swung around and aimed, but she was already below them. Stab in the chest, and they were done in. "Nice try!"

Spyro stampeded through the enemies. "Woo!" He picked up a Greeble in his horns and tossed it high in the air. "Mess with the dragon, get the horns!" A Drow poked him in the chest with its spear and began pushing him backwards. "Hey, careful! That's the pointy end!"

"Argh!" A Greeble knocked Stealth Elf into Spyro. "Ouch, now _that's_ a pointy end!"

"Stealth?!" Spyro exclaimed. "What are you doing here?!"

"Proving to Trap Shadow that I'm deserving of him," the elf replied.

Spyro tipped his head. "What about Stink Bomb?" he asked.

"He has nothing to teach me."

"He could teach you how to throw a shuriken."

"I do **not** need to know how to throw a shuriken." She and Spyro glanced around. "We're surrounded."

"No dip Sherlock."

The commander of the remaining Greebles pointed at them, and its army charged. The Drow leader did the same.

"Got a plan, elf girl?"

"I was hoping that you would."

"I do. Follow my lead!"

Spyro charged through the Drows, beating down just about all of them. Stealth blinked, then summoned her ghost blades and proceeded to be a total showoff by flipping through the Greebles.

Spyro spun around and charged back around.

Stealth Elf was pretty much confused, scratched her head and immitated him.

The Drow and Greeble leaders exchanged glances and then took one big step backwards. That lead to Spyro and Stealth butting heads, knocking each other out.

The leaders' eyes widened. The Drow poked Stealth Elf gently in the stomach, then started arguing with the Greeble leader on whether or not they were dead. They just ran.

* * *

|| I didn't even do any brainstorming for this. I literally just said "Spyro and Stealth Elf should switch bodies" and wrote it down. Ech. This story is terrible.

I was seriously debating whether or not to upload these as a collection, and for a while I had decided not to, but ultimately, I'd really rather have these things taking up one spot in my library rather than six. ||


	2. Swappable Stoppable: 2

|| And here we have Chapter 2 of Swappable Stoppable, AKA "the part where everything goes to hell". ||

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Spyro grumbled, trying to stand. "Gfuyfweiwgf... what happened? I feel different... lighter... where are my wings?" He rubbed his head, then realized that something was wrong. Very, very wrong. "Why do I have hai- AAAAAARRGHH!" He legitimately began freaking out. **"I'M FREAKING STEALTH ELF!"**

He tried to stand up on two feet. "Alright, okay, I've got this, wait, nope, I'm falling." He roared. _(What is going on?!)_ He got on his hands and knees, attempting to compromise with his... Stealth's... body. He looked over to see his own body, lying motionless on the ground. "Okay, so I'm- and that's- alright, I've got it now. **STEALTH WAKE UP!** " He began poking her repeatedly.

Stealth stirred, and unlike Spyro, immediately noticed that something was wrong. "What's going on?" she questioned. "This is a highly abnormal feeling..."

"That's cuz you're **me!"** Spyro cried. "What is this I don't even—" He fell over again. "-ow."

Stealth stood up, stretched her wings and wagged her tail. "Interesting."

"Interesting? **INTERESTING?!"** Spyro had a rage fit. "That's all you have to %#$ &ing say?!" He ran around, stumbling, hurting himself, roaring.

"Please don't do that in my body," Stealth requested. She scratched her head. "Hm, the force of the impact must have caused us to trade memories."

"Huh?"

She sighed. "For the lesser minded..."

"Hey!"

"...we switched bodies."

Spyro hit his head against a tree, the fell over again. "This can _not_ be happening," he sighed.

Stealth was poking her own stomach. "What have you been eating?"

"Shut. Up."

Suddenly, a brilliant, _brilliant_ idea came to Stealth. "Hey Spyro, your mentor is Trap Shadow, right?"

"Yeah," Spyro replied in exasperation. "I thought we established that this morning." There was no response. "Stealth?" He stood up, to see Stealth in his body dashing towards the Woodburrow gate. "Later loser!"

"H-H-H-H-HEY!" Spyro followed her back to Woodburrow. But after falling flat on his face a couple times, he lost track of her. "Dammit Stealth, I want my body back!" He tried looking around, but he got cut short when somebody tripped him. "Grfwifgbwu..."

"Funny, usually she saves herself." That was Zoo Lou.

"Come on, Stealth Elf." That one was Camo. "We all know that you don't want to go, but being this late for class is inexcusable."

Zoo Lou tossed Spyro over his shoulder. "Yeah, come on! Stink Bomb isn't gonna wait forever!"

"Hey!" Spyro cried. "Put me down! I'm not Stealth Elf! I'm Spyro!"

Camo snickered. "Yeah, and I'm Mesmerelda." Zoo Lou burst out laughing. "Seriously, Stealth, that's the lamest excuse you've ever come up with."

"But it's true!"

"There you guys are! Hey Stink Bomb, they found Stealth!" That seemingly familiar voice was Bumble Blast.

"Oh, good!" Stink Bomb said. "You can put her down now, Zoo Lou.

"Alright..."

Lou set Spyro down, and he tried to get his balance. "Okay, I've got it, I've got it... aaaaaaand I just fell. On. My. Face."

Bumble and Lou helped him up. "Are you okay, Stealth Elf?" Stink Bomb asked. "You seem uncoordinated." He scratched his head. "...Which is very strange for you."

"Ya ya," Spyro sighed. "I'm good." _(Let's see if there's a reason that Stealth is so complainy.)_

"Okay then," Stink Bomb shot a smile. "So, if everybody's good, let's get started! Hai?"

"Hai, sensei!" the boys exclaimed.

Spyro blinked. "I thought ninjitsu was Japanese. Wait, 'hai' is Japanese, but 'sensei' is Chi- what is this madness?!"

Stink Bomb cracked his knuckles. "Today's lesson is endurance, which is something that many people lack. So, we're doing the obstacle course!"

The boys groaned. "Again?!" Zoo Lou complained.

"I've come to expect it," Camo added.

"Stealth Elf!" Stink Bomb ordered. "Think you're up to it?"

Spyro flinched. "Oh, that's me!" he exclaimed. "Um... sure?"

"Great!" Stink Bomb directed him to the start of the course. "That's what I like to see from you, Stealth; spirit even when you're feeling down!" He pushed Spyro, and the dragon... er, elf... found himself face-to-face with spinning blades, spike walls, Greeble punching bags bearing real daggers and about a trillion booby traps.

Spyro swallowed hard. "This wouldn't be so hard if I were in my own body..." He took a deep breath, then rushed forward. One of the blades nearly sliced his hair off. "Wah! Talk about close shaves!" He leaped up and just barely landed it. Unfortunately for him, he landed on a button that set off a wall of arrows. "Agh!" He tripped at the perfect moment, avoiding them, but he found that he was faced with the wrong end of a Greeble punchy. He whipped out Stealth's Dragonfang daggers and sliced it in half.

Suddenly feeling very full of himself and light on his feet, Spyro began jumping and flipping around like a show off. Every booby trap missed, every spinning blade leaped over and every Greeble sliced in half. "Aw, what does she say? What does she say? Oh yeah!" He landed on his feet and pumped a fist in the air as everything behind him fell apart. **"Silent but Deadly!"** He blinked, then began laughing hysterically. "Oh my gosh, how did I not notice that before?! Woo, no wonder Master Eon signed her up with Stink Bomb! Ha ha ha ha!"

Stealth's classmates watched in confusion. "Is she making fun of herself?" Zoo Lou inquired.

"This is... _odd_ behavior for Stealth Elf..." Camo said.

Stealth watched from a distance. "What an embarrassment," she growled. "I'll probably never be able to show my face again."

"Hey Spyro!"

"Eh?" Stealth turned to see Whirlwind approaching.

"Hey, are you watching Stealth's class? That's ironic, since she was watching yours like a hawk earlier." She blinked. "Hey, are you feeling alright? Your eyes look funny."

Stealth blinked, then glanced at her reflection in the enchanted pool. _(My eyes... that could be a problem.)_ "It's nothing, Whirlwind," she responded. "I'm fine."

Whirl tipped her head. "Are you sure?" she asked, a worried tone flooding her voice. "Your voice... you're talking really soft, Spyro."

Stealth sighed. "Whirlwind, there's something I have to tell you."

"Anything, Spyro!"

Stealth looked around, then whispered it into Whirl's ear.

"What?" Whirl sounded very surprised, but then she giggled. "Come on, Spyro. What the heck are you trying to pull?"

Stealth sighed and directed Whirl's vision to where Spyro, in her body, was still poking fun at her catchphrase. _"That's_ Spyro."

Whirl blinked. "Alright, I'm convinced. Stealth Elf would never do something like that." Stealth nodded. "But, just one question, how did this happen?"

"It's a long story," Stealth replied. "But I'm hoping to keep it up until Trap Shadow's class tomorrow."

Whirlwind tipped her head. "Oh, but your mentor is Stink Bomb!"

"I know that!" Stealth replied. "But I'd like to at least train with Trap Shadow for one class. Like I said before, Stink Bomb can't teach me anything."

"Well Sunburn said he could teach you how to throw a shuriken..."

"I don't need to know how to throw a shuriken!" Stealth exclaimed. "I just need to avoid Spyro until tomorrow. Think I can pull it off?"

"Definitely!" Whirlwind told her. "And ya know what, I'll help you out! I'll keep Spyro off your back. I wish I could say the same for Sunburn, though. But, eh, are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Didn't we already establish this?"

"No, I meant as a male dragon."

Stealth blinked.

* * *

|| Oh my god. Ugh. Spyro has Sunburn's personality in this story. And Stealth Elf is _intelligent._ One of Stealth Elf's most defining characteristics in this series in every story after this one is that she's _unintelligent._ And I actually censored that curse word even though the story was rated T. This story is garbage.

It is pretty hilarious, though. Just not in the way I intended. ||


	3. Swappable Stoppable: 3

|| And here we have Chapter 3 of Swappable Stoppable, AKA "the part where I hit my head against a desk". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Sunburn was bounding around Woodburrow, being sort of an idiot. "We swappin', no stoppin'! Interlockin' bottoms with tops, yeah! We creatin' new combinations! Two fifty plus ways to make it! Woo!" He passed Freeze Blade, who had just dismissed his last class. "Fire Kraken and Freeze Blade! Wash Buckler and Rattle Shake! There's Rubble Rouser and Free Range- Ger, yessir!"

Freeze laughed. "'Sup little man?" he asked. "Where ya goin'?"

"Ah, my class," the phoenix replied. "Wouldn't miss it for the world! Fire Kraken is awesome!"

"Definitely!" Freeze replied. "He's _way_ cooler than Night Shift. I feel bad for yer pals stuck with him. He can be a little, eh, cranky."

"Yeah, I heard Roller Brawl complaining about him," Sunburn snickered.

"M-hm. Well, ya shouldn't keep the Kraken waiting." They fist bumped. "Keep it cool, little man!"

"I should certainly hope not!" Sunburn laughed, and then continued on being a fool. "They can bounce n' climb, teleport n' spin! Dig down, speed up to win!" He wasn't paying attention, and he abruptly bumped into Stealth Elf.

Actually, it was Spyro, but you know what I mean.

"Hey, watch it!" Spyro exclaimed, then his eyes focused. "Oh, hey Sunburn!"

"Eh? Stealth Elf? You're talkin' a lot louder than normal."

Spyro sweatdropped. "Well, eh..."

"Yeah, it's usually like 'HELLO?! COULD YOU SPEAK UP PLEASE?!'"

Spyro snickered. "That's true, but-"

"Now seriously Stealth, outta the way. I can't be late."

Spyro rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you something!" he exclaimed. "I'm not Stealth! I'm Spyro!"

Sunburn stared blankly at him for a few moments, then burst out laughing. "That's funny!" he said. "You just made my day! Now seriously, outta the way."

"I'm not kidding!" Spyro exclaimed. "If you'd just- Sunburn?" He looked around, but Sunburn had already left. Spyro sighed. "Dammit Sunburn. Ugh, this thing is so hot. How does Stealth wear this in the Summer?" He rubbed his eyes, then noticed you-know-who sneaking around in the courtyard. "Speak of the devil. **HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY BODY!"**

"Uh-oh."

Meanwhile, Trigger Happy was wandering. Spy Rise had already dismissed his class for the day, when Stink Bomb dismissed his. "T to the E to the C to the H! It's the TECH element, so make the check! They're gonna wreck, so stay on deck! Uh... Peck! Neck! Fleck! What the heck! Ah, ride in a mech! Gotta brass neck! Take a rain check! Down the- huh?"

Spyro stormed over to him and cowered behind his back.

I mean it was Stealth Elf, but you probably got this down by now.

"Woah, Spyro!" Trigger exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"I'm not Spyro!" Stealth whispered. "I'm running from him! Now hide me!"

"You're running from yourself?"

 **"STEALTH!"**

Spyro was spazzing around, looking for Stealth. "I want my body back! **Now!** " And that's when he fell on his face again. "Dang it, I thought I had this down!"

Stealth pulled Trigger down to her level. "Listen, Trigger Happy. I'm Stealth Elf. That's Spyro. We swapped bodies. He wants to swap back. I don't."

Trigger blinked. "Why not?" he asked.

"Because," Stealth responded. "I want to go to Trap Shadow's class, but I can't do that as long as I'm in my own body. I just need to avoid Spyro until tomorrow morning. Whirlwind already agreed to help. Could you do the same?"

Trigger grinned. "Sure thing Stealth!" he replied. "I'll distract him for ya, and you can make you're grand escape! But, one more question. What about Stink Bomb?"

Stealth rolled her eyes. _"Stink Bomb_ has nothing to teach me."

"He could teach you how to throw a shuriken..."

"I do **NOT** need to know how to throw a shuriken!" she sighed. "Just... go do a thing, alright?"

"Alright!" Trigger replied with a smirk, then dashed away. "Hang in there! The day's almost over!"

Stealth smiled. "What a dork."

"Hey Spyro! Hey Spyro!" Trigger Happy zoomed over to Spyro, who was struggling to stand.

"Trig! Hey!" Spyro exclaimed. "Wait, how'd you know it was me?"

"Elf girl told me everything," Trigger replied. "So, I'm uh... here to help you!"

"Great!" Spyro exclaimed. "You can start by helping me get this mask off. I swear, she glued it to her face or something!"

Stealth Elf watched from a distance as Trigger Happy latched himself onto Spyro and started tugging on the face mask in and attempt to pry it off. "I hate dragons."

"You don't mean that, do you?" Whirlwind flew in and approached her friend. "Welp, I see Spyro told Trig."

"Actually," Stealth told her. "I did."

"Really?" Whirl questioned. "Aren't you worried that they'll get your mask thingy off? Nobody's seen you without it on. Ever."

Stealth chuckled. "They'll never get it off. Just as I'm the only one who's ever seen myself without it..." She started laughing. "...I'm the only one who knows how to get it off!"

Whirl sweatdropped, glancing back and forth between the spazztic boys and her crazy friend. "What's going on here?" She turned as Freeze Blade zoomed up to her. "Um... is Trigger Happy-?"

"Long story," Whirlwind cut him off. "and honestly, I'm not sure if Ste- Spyro would like to explain."

Stealth stopped laughing. "Oh, hello Freeze Blade."

"'Sup little man?" Freeze waved. "What's Trig doing with elf girl over there?"

Stealth facepalmed, dragging her hand down her face. _(Why does everybody call me elf girl?)_ "He's trying to get her mask off," she said.

"Why?"

"Who knows?"

Freeze exchanged glances with Whirlwind, then shrugged. "Y' know, I was just talking to Sunburn. Watched his class, he was doing pretty good."

"That's Sunburn for you!" Whirl giggled.

"Yup! And, uh, Spyro," He turned to Stealth. "Trap Shadow is a great mentor and all, but you're still a bit ruff around the edges. What do ya say to a little sparring, just you and me?"

Stealth blinked. "W-Well... I guess that would be okay..."

"Great!" Freeze exclaimed. "C'mon, little buddy! See ya Whirl!"

Whirlwind watched as Stealth bounded after the Swapper. "Um... okay! I, uh, guess I'll see you later!"

* * *

Freeze leaped into the air as Stealth swung at him. "Is that all ya got? C'mon, where's the fire? You don't have to go easy on me!"

"I'm not trying to!" She lashed her tail at him, but he avoided it. He froze her feet to the ground.

"Too easy." Freeze dusted off his hands. "Funny, I was expecting more from you..." Stealth stared at the ground, clenching her teeth. "... _Stealth."_

Stealth flinched, her eyes widening. "How did you know?"

"Hm, let's see..." Freeze Blade gave her a smirk. "You're talking in a whisper, your eyes are totally blank, you're acting way to serious to be Spyro, you don't know how to fly or use his fire powers... and the look you gave me when I called you 'elf girl.' Honestly, I'm surprised everyone in Woodburrow hasn't figured it out by now."

Stealth sweatdropped. "Is it really that obvious?" she asked.

"Pretty much," Freeze replied. "Now, you're a smart kid, Stealth. You've obviously figured out how to swap back by now, so why haven't you? I mean c'mon, it can't be pleasant."

"It's not..." Stealth told him. "I just... really want to train under Trap Shadow. With Spyro's body... it just felt like the perfect chance! And I'm sick of explaining this..."

Freeze raised and eyebrow. "You have _Stink Bomb_ already, and there's a reason Eon assigned you with him-"

"It's the _**wrong reason!"**_ Stealth snapped at him. In her rage, she shot a fireball at him, which smacked him in the gut. "Oh my gosh!" She rushed to Freeze's side, examining the spot she blasted. "I'm _so_ sorry! I-I don't know what happened!"

"That was... ngh... Spyro's powers!" Freeze explained. "Speaking of which, he's gonna wanna whoop your butt when he finds you, so you're going to have to learn how to use those powers."

Stealth turned away. "But... I'm not used to having those kinds of special abilities..."

"That's my point." Freeze set his hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to help you, but only if you'll let me." Stealth stared down as he stood up. "Spyro's powers are controlled by will, and your 'powers' come from within." She glanced up at him. "It'll be a challenge... think you're up to it?"

Stealth smiled. "I'm up to anything."

Freeze smirked and gave her a thumbs-up. "That's what I like to hear!"

* * *

|| The original author's note here was me complaining that the chapter took four days to write. Heh. I wish things still took me four days to write. Of course, now most of my stories have chapter lengths that breach 6000 words. Not to mention that I'm constantly working on, like, eight things at once.

Oh yeah, this was the point in the story where I went back through the document and changed the character from Flashwing to Whirlwind because I was extremely new to Skylanders at the time and Whirlwind felt like a better fit. Good job, young me. Real professional. Oh well, at least it meant that we had Whirlwind for the rest of the series, and she was one of my favorite characters. ||


	4. Swappable Stoppable: 4

|| And here we have Chapter 4 of Swappable Stoppable, AKA "the part where Trigger Happy turns into Pinkie Pie despite the fact that I wasn't watching MLP yet at this point". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

"Bing! Bang! Biddy Bang Bang!" Trigger Happy fired away, having no remorse even though he was aiming at his best friend. "C'mon! C'mon! Dodge it! I'd like to see you try!"

Spyro dashed around a corner, then thrashed Trigger upside the head. "Alright, Trig. I'm wiped out."

"Nooooooo!" Trigger complained. "More, more! I wanna fire at ya more!"

Spyro shook his head. "Sorry bud, but I'm done messing around. The only thing I've learned is how to stand on two feet. So unless you can tell me how to use Stealth's powers, I'm done."

"Powers?" Trigger questioned. "Stealth doesn't have any powers."

"Eh?" Spyro fell backwards. "W-Well then what do you call turning invisible? Or transforming into a tiger?"

Trigger was silent for several moments, then responded, "Not... powers." He shook himself off. "Stealth explained this a katrillion times, every 'power' she has is something that anybody can do; she just had the special training to unlock those abilities."

Spyro looked crestfallen. "So... I can't use them?"

 **"WHAT PART OF 'SPECIAL TRAINING' DON'T YOU GET?!"** Trigger exclaimed, causing Spyro to yelp.

"What's going on here?" They turned to see Sunburn approaching. "I saw you two trying to kill each other, so I came to investigate. So what the heck is going on, Stealth?"

"Do you ever feel like we're being watched?" Trigger nudged Spyro.

Spyro growled. "I told you, I'm not Stealth," he said. "I'm Spyro. **Spyro!"**

"You look like Stealth and you sound like Stealth (just talking louder than normal)," Sunburn said. "Sorry if my first thought is that you're Stealth."

Trigger Happy walked up to you. Yes, you. "Sunburn can be a liiiiittle dense," he told you. Yes, you.

 _(Who is he talking to?)_ Spyro wondered.

Sunburn fumed. "Who are you calling 'dense,' bullets-for-brains?!"

"You, turkey sandwich!" Trigger retorted.

"What did you just call me?!"

"Guys, guys!" Spyro exclaimed. "Give it a rest!"

"Spyyyyyyyroooooooo!" Trigger Happy complained. "He insulted me!"

Spyro sighed. "I can't help you with that, you insulted him first."

Trigger grumbled, kicked a rock and sat down moping. Sunburn raised an eyebrow and turned to Spyro. "So, you got Trig to believe that you're Spyro, huh?"

"I _am_ Spyro!" Spyro exclaimed. "What would I have to say to prove that it's me?!"

Sunburn snickered. "I'll tell you what 'Spyro,' I'm going to go talk to 'Stealth.' If she can tell me something that only she and I would know, then I'll believe you."

"Why can't you just ask me?"

"Because there's legitimately no secrets that Spyro and I share."

Spyro stopped in his tracks and watched him leave. "That's a lie!" he called. "And you know it!"

Sunburn bounded around Woodburrow, seeking out Spyro's body. He saw lots of stuff (like Terrafin and Night Shift boxing, Bash trying to fly), but he didn't see anything even resembling Spyro, besides maybe Zap. "Hmph. Why am I wasting my time here?"

Eventually, he did find Spyro... or, you know what I mean... who was (still) sparring with Freeze Blade. "Freeze?" he called.

"Eh?" Freeze stopped and glanced over at him, allowing himself to get slapped across the face by Stealth.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed.

Freeze raised a hand in the air. "It's okay! I'm fine!"

Sunburn tipped his head. "Why the heck are you dueling with Spyro?"

Freeze blinked. "Oh, well, uh..."

"Nevermind, I came to talk to Spyro." Sunburn approached Stealth, who was playing with her wings and not paying attention at all. "Spyro, you're not going to believe this, but Stealth is going around saying that she's you! Isn't that ridiculous?" Stealth didn't reply. "Spyro?"

"Huh?" Stealth looked up.

Sunburn sighed. "Stealth convinced Trig that she's you, and she's trying to convince me. Silly, right?" Stealth blinked. "Right?"

"Um..." Stealth looked over at Freeze Blade, who signaled for her to keep talking. She sighed. "...actually, he's not lying."

"Who what now?" Sunburn gave her a weird look, then snorted. "Oh really? So you're Stealth Elf, huh? Prove it. Tell me something that only she and I would know."

Stealth glared at Freeze, who plugged his ears. She leaned to the Phoenix hybrid and said, "You don't know how to open a Spark Lock."

Sunburn fell over. "Holy crap, Stealth?!" he exclaimed. "It is you!" You could tell from his eyes that there was a whole lot going through his head. "What? W-Why?"

Stealth sighed. "You seriously can't put two and two together?"

"I can, and I have!" Sunburn exclaimed. "But I swear you've gone crazy! Like... just, why?! Is it seriously worth it!"

"I... I don't know, alright?! Leave me alone, Sunburn!"

"You're the one who told me!"

 _"Spyro_ told you! You were just to dense to believe it until I proved it!"

"I am not dense! And you have a mentor who already genuinely cares about you!"

"Yeah?! What do you know about Stink Bomb?!"

"I think the real question is, 'what do _you_ know about Trap Shadow?!' And I think you know more about Stink Bomb than you choose to believe!"

"What do you know about me?!"

"I know enough about you!"

Freeze Blade watched the two squabble. He wore a very confused expression. "Their personalities bounce off each other so well," he said.

"You know what, forget it!" Sunburn exclaimed. "I'm not going to help you with some up-the-wall, mad scheme that will likely end with you getting hurt!"

"Fine! I don't your help!" Stealth returned. "Whirlwind and Trigger Happy are already helping me! I don't need your input on this!"

"Fine!"

 **"Fine!"**

Stealth watched him leave, trying to keep her cool. However, as soon as he was out of sight, she completely broke down. Freeze placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, which didn't seem to work.

"Stupid Sunburn..."

* * *

Whirlwind was sitting on a roof, watching Spyro complain to Trigger Happy.

"This is ridiculous!" Spyro cried. "I should never have to be an elf, I should never have to be a girl, and I should _**never**_ have to be **Stealth Elf**!"

"Oh, c'mon!" Trigger said. "It can't be that bad."

"You wanna bet?" Spyro challenged. "I have to go to the _bathroom."_

Trigger blinked.

"Screw it, I'm going to go find Stealth and fix this."

Whirlwind growled. "Oh no you don't!" She leaped down to face the boys. "I promised Stealth to keep you off her back, and that's a promise I intend to keep!"

"Whirlwind?!" Spyro exclaimed. "Ugh, come on Trig, we can take her." Trigger didn't respond. "Trig?"

"I... I can't help," the gunslinger said.

"What?!" Spyro exclaimed. "Why not?!"

Trigger sighed, then whipped out his guns. "Because I'm helping Stealth."

Spyro took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh. "I hate you all."

 **A Short Brawl Later...**

Spyro dusted off his hands. "Welp, that was fairly easy," he said. Then it occurred to him. "...which means that I've adapted to Stealth's body! **Sweet!** That means I can take her on! Tomorrow. I'll take her on tomorrow, after I get some sleep." He walked away, leaving Whirl and Trigger on the ground.

"That was... bad," Trigger said.

"Tell me about it," Whirl replied. "but I wouldn't worry. Freeze Blade has been sparring with her; she must have figured out how to use Spyro's powers by now."

"Maybe so..." They looked up, only to see Sunburn glaring down at them. "But in the end, it's not the power that will decide their fight; it's their purpose."

* * *

Stealth was lying alone at the edge of Woodburrow, looking out at the horizon. The moon and stars hung in the sky, shining against the deep black sky. It was something that Stealth had always been able to go to for comfort, ever since she was a kid. She sighed. "This isn't going as well as I had hoped..."

"Spyro?" that was a familiar voice. Stealth turned her head to see none other than Stink Bomb standing behind her. "Could I, uh... talk to you about something?"

Stealth set her head on her front feet, a vacant look in her eye. "Sure."

Stink Bomb sat down next to her and looked out at the sky. "Beautiful night... isn't it?"

"What did you want to talk about?" Stealth sounded impatient.

Stink Bomb sighed. "Well, it's about... Stealth Elf."

 _(Figures. Complain much?)_

"I'm just a bit worried about her. She's my best student, you see..." Stealth perked. "...but she doesn't... well, she doesn't really listen to me much." Stealth lied back down, sleep beginning to take her away. "I don't think she really likes me. But... well, I'm not sure if I should tell you this, but I trust you.

"When us SWAP Force was assigned to tutor you kids, Master Eon warned me that Stealth wouldn't like me at first. You see, she grew up under her own master. He not only trained her, but raised her like a father. Her master was the closest thing to family that Stealth ever had to family. Unfortunately... he was _killed."_ Stealth choked, tearing up slightly.

"Eon told me that she never really recovered from his death, and that she would resent me as a 'master,' and she doesn't even fully trust him. The only thing that I really want is for her to accept me. I think... I _know_ she has more potential, and I think that maybe I could help to bring that out. But if she won't listen, that just can't happen. Don't get me wrong, I don't _blame_ her. I just..." Stink Bomb sighed. "I just needed to get that off my chest. Do you think she'll ever come around? Spyro?"

Stealth was fast asleep, still sniffling a bit. She seemed to had cried herself to sleep; something that she would rarely ever do. Stink Bomb smiled faintly, then stood up to leave. "Goodnight, Stealth Elf."

* * *

|| Come to think of it, Sunburn is a lot like Rainbow Dash. I... I didn't start watching that show until a year after I wrote this! What the heck is going on here?!

Also, StealthBurn? That thing I ship? It wouldn't exist if it weren't for the stupid character interactions in this story that I came up with off the top of my head. So, thanks, Swappable Stoppable! You most certainly did something... something. ||


	5. Swappable Stoppable: 5

|| And here we have Chapter 5 of Swappable Stoppable, AKA "the part where I die a little on the inside". ||

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

A light breeze blew through the trees as the sun rose over Woodburrow. Stealth grumbled and rolled onto her back. "Five more minutes..."

"Ya can't sleep all day, elf girl."

Stealth opened her eyes to see Trigger and Whirlwind sitting next to her. "When did you show up?"

"About an hour ago," Whirl replied. "Speaking of hours, Trap Shadow's class is in two."

"Rest up while you can!" Trigger laugh. "Oh, and Spyro kinda wants to kill you."

Stealth yawned. "Great," she muttered.

"I've never seen him this angry at one of us!" Whirlwind exclaimed. "I mean, Spyro is a docile person..."

"Well, would _you_ want to be in that situation?" Trigger challenged. "I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be to switch species _and_ gender." They both immediately turned to Stealth Elf, who was stretching.

"I'll tell you right now, it certainly isn't pleasant," she told them.

"But is it really all worth it?" Whirlwind questioned. "Everything you'll learn from Trap Shadow will only help you if you're in Spyro's form."

Stealth looked out over the horizon once more, then sighed. "I know you're right, Whirlwind," she said. She laid back down. "I'm going back to sleep..."

"Do you need an alarm clock?" Trigger asked.

"The sun is my alarm clock," Stealth Elf replied. "I grew up in a forest, for crying out loud."

"She has a point, Trig," Whirlwind pointed out. "Let's go, c'mon." Trigger Happy shrugged and followed her back to Woodburrow, leaving the forest elf alone.

 **Two Hours Later...**

"Spyro!" Pop Fizz called.

Stealth approached the training yard, where Trap Shadow's class was held. "Oh... h-hello." _(This is happening!)_

Voodood waved. "Hey, you're a little less late than usual!" he said.

 _(Spyro is usually late?)_ "Uh... y-yeah, I got up early. So, where's, uh... where's Trap Shadow?"

"I think Eon sent him and Spy Rise on a mission this morning," Dune Bug replied.

"Spy Rise is pretty cool!" Pop Fizz exclaimed. "Like, he shoots the stick web thing and then everything explodes!"

"That's true," Voodood acknowledged. "but Freeze Blade is cooler."

There was silence for several moments, then Pop Fizz and Dune Bug burst out laughing. "Nice one!" Dune Bug said.

"Aw, c'mon Spyro," Pop Fizz said when Stealth reacted with a raised eyebrow. "Ya have to admit that was funny!"

"Uh..." Stealth stared at him blankly. "Sure." She kind of ignored him, walking over to one of the practice dummies. She took a deep breath, attracting the attention of the boys.

"What is he doing?" Dune Bug questioned.

"Dunno," Voodood replied.

 _(Focus. Concentrate.)_ Stealth was sweating, since apparently dragons can sweat. _(Jeez, how does he do this?)_ Unable to charge it any longer, she unleashed a crazy inferno that scorched all five practice dummies. "Woah!"

"Holy sheep!" the others exclaimed.

"I didn't know you could do that!" Pop Fizz.

"Eh, I didn't either," Stealth replied. _(I was just trying Spyro's fire attack-)_

"Impressive!" Stealth's thoughts were cut off when Trap Shadow approached.

"T-T-T-Trap Shadow!" she exclaimed. The panther was scratched up all over, and his ear was on fire. He pinched it to smother the flame, then approached Stealth.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Trap asked.

"I, uh, learned it myself..." Stealth replied, her muzzle turning slightly red. "Um... what happened to you?"

"Ah, Fire Geargolem," Trap replied. "and Rip-Rotors. It's nothing, Spy Rise is in worse condition. Your form while commencing that attack was next to perfect. Your wings were folded back at an angle that wouldn't pick up wind current from the blast, and your head was raised just enough to not damage anything beyond your targets. I must say Spyro, I'm impressed."

Stealth blinked, then frowned. "Y-Yeah... Spyro. That's me."

"Hey Spyro, I meant to ask you this," Pop Fizz said. "What's up with your eyes?"

Stealth clenched her teeth. "Well..."

"I'm sure it's just a result of his training," Trap Shadow interrupted. "Like Stealth Elf, for example. Her eyes weren't always that way. Mine were not either. Although it may not last forever with Spyro."

"How come that hasn't happened to us, then?" Dune Bug questioned.

"Well, perhaps you just haven't completed the training to unlock that ability," Trap suggested.

"We've learned everything Spyro has..." Pop Fizz complained.

"We haven't mastered it," Voodood told him.

Trap Shadow turned back to Stealth Elf. "Now, how would you like to learn some _real_ ninjitsu?"

Stealth Elf's jaw dropped. _(Does he...?)_ She shook herself. _(I probably shouldn't be surprised at this point.)_

Trap grinned and pulled his bandana over his face. "You three just practice your attacks, alright?"

Pop Fizz frowned. "Oh... alright, sir."

* * *

Spyro was fast asleep in the highest branch of a tree, snoring loudly. Sunburn was sitting at the base. "Spyro?" he called.

Spyro snorted. "Morning, Sunburn." Apparently it takes him two seconds to wake up. "Why am I in a tree?"

Sunburn chuckled. "Well, that is where Stealth usually sleeps."

Spyro stretched and hopped down from the branch. "So, where is she now?" he asked.

"Hm? Trap Shadow's class," Sunburn replied.

` "The class!" Spyro exclaimed. "That's it! I'll spring her when it's over!"

Sunburn sighed, tilting his head slightly. "Why in the name of Eon are you so pissed at her?"

"She's being unreasonable!" Spyro growled.

"You haven't tried to reason with her," Sunburn pointed out.

Spyro muttered something under his breath. "Whatever. I'm still getting back at her for not letting us switch back."

Sunburn shook his head. "You're so naïve."

"I'm what?" Spyro questioned.

"'Naïve,'" Sunburn replied. "It means, 'to show lack of experience or wisdom.' Basically, I'm saying that you're missing an important piece of the puzzle; Stealth's reasoning for not wanting to switch back. Granted, I think that reason is absurd, but- Spyro?"

Spyro, not caring to listen to Sunburn's rambling, had taken off in the direction of the training yard. "I _will_ defeat Stealth Elf! I _will_ get my body back! And I _will_ stop saying 'I will' because I'll have already done everything I have to!"

Then he ran face-first into a training dummy.

"Ow..."

"Stealth Elf?" Pop Fizz asked. "What're you doin' here?"

"Uh..." Spyro was dusting himself off. "I'm looking for, er, Spyro. Sunburn told me he's here. Have you seen him?"

"You just missed him," Dune Bug replied. "He went off with Trap Shadow to train. I wouldn't disturb them, if I were you."

 _(Crap. Alright, what would Stealth say in this situation?)_

"Okay," Spyro said, trying his best to lower his voice to a whisper like Stealth does. "Thank you, uh, for the information. I'll be going, then."

Trap Shadow's students exchanged glances. "Alright then," Voodood said in a confused tone.

"See you later..." Pop Fizz also sounded confused.

Spyro grumbled, realizing that his impression wasn't very convincing, the ran away. Rather, ran behind a tree. "Yeah, that worked," he growled. "I guess I will have to wait until the class is dismissed." He scaled the tree, a surprisingly easy task, even for being in a much lighter and agile body. "Time for a steak out!"

* * *

"C'mon, c'mon!" Trigger Happy called. "We have to find them! Move faster!"

Whirlwind sighed. "Shouldn't we find Sunburn first?" she asked. "I mean, the three of us are Stealth's closest friends. Sunburn is probably looking for her already."

Trig raised an eyebrow, then smirked. "You just can't stop thinking of Sunburn, can you?"

Whirl blushed and turned away. "No, I can't," she admitted. "...but he likes somebody else..."

Trig frowned. "Um... sorry for bringing it up, then." He turned and continued walking. "If we stumble across Sunburn, that's great! If not, oh well. Now we have to find Spyro and elf girl before they decide to kill each other!"

Whirlwind tilted her head, then dashed after him. "Stealth will switch back after the lesson with Trap Shadow," she said. "She already told us that she doesn't like being in Spyro's body, and it's obvious that she already figured out how to switch back."

"Stealth Elf isn't the problem," Trigger Happy reminded her. "Spyro is the problem. He's freaking enraged! And he's too oblivious to see Stealth's reasoning for not immediately switching back. He's gonna spring her as soon as possible..." He rubbed an injury on his left arm. "...and he packs a punch in Stealth's body!"

Whirlwind rubbed her head. "Yeah, you're right, Trig..." she sighed. "We have to stop them before somebody get hurt!"

"Well then, we should head to Trap Shadow's class, shouldn't we?"

Whirlwind turned to Trigger, who gave her a "Wasn't me!" look. They turned to see none other than Sunburn standing behind them.

"Sunburn!" Whirl exclaimed.

"Hey buddy, what are you doing here?" Trig asked.

"Following Spyro," Sunburn replied. "Stealth is at Trap Shadow's class. Spyro is hunting her down." He paused for a moment, then said, "We have to find Spyro before the class is dismissed."

Whirl and Trig nodded, and the trio headed in the direction of the training grounds.

* * *

Stealth Elf was standing in the dark Under Hollow, eye closed, seemingly alone. _(I've trained in the art of stealth for seven years.)_ she thought to herself. _(I've been a Skylander for two and a half. Even after I joined, I trained myself. I had to.)_ A shadow slid past her in the darkness. _(My vision has always been weak, so I trained my other senses.)_ The shadow dashed across the other side of the room. _(...but that training is lost of Spyro's body. He can see so clearly, but everything else...)_ The shadow rose up behind her, and her eyes shot open. She launched herself upwards and behind the shadow, stumbling due to being in a heavier body than normal.

The figure turned and stepped forward, revealing itself to be Trap Shadow. "Nice move," he said. "If I had attempted to attack you, you would have jumped just in time. Try to stick that landing next time, though- that stumble could give your opponent just enough time to attack again."

Stealth sighed. "Yes, sensei."

"Sensei?" Trap Shadow questioned. "Isn't that what Stink Bomb has his students call him?"

Stealth blinked, the turned away. "Uh... yeah. I guess it is."

Trap chuckled. "You're very powerful, but you still have much to learn. Of course, I can't see that I have anything to teach you."

Stealth tipped her head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, there's nothing I know that you don't already," Trap replied. "I seriously doubt knowing how to throw a trap will help you." He smirked. "Now a shuriken, on the other hand..."

Stealth scowled. _(Seriously?)_

"Listen, I think you haven't thought your plan through very well. Perhaps that something you need to learn, but it's not something that can just be taught to you. It's something you have to learn yourself. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Stealth closed her eyes and nodded. "I guess..."

Trap Shadow smiled. "I have to go work with my other students, but I do believe there's somebody waiting for you outside..."

Stealth sighed. "You're right," she said. "Thank you, sensei!" She turned to leave, then paused. _(Sensei...)_

* * *

Spyro's stomach growled. "Gmphrfhgl... I haven't eaten all day... How does she eat with this mask on?" He scratched his head. "Maybe she doesn't."

"...Spyro?"

Spyro blinked and peered over the edge of the branch, to see himself! Well, Stealth Elf in his body. "WAAHH!" He fell of the branch and landed on his face.

Stealth facepalmed. "Please don't do that in my body."

Spyro grumbled. "Well **soooooorry** if I'm supposed to be quadruped," he growled. He pulled himself to his feet and dusted himself off. "I've been waiting for you forever! Where were you?!"

Stealth shook her head. "Where do you think I was?"

Spyro sweatdropped. "Uh, well, I..."

"There they are!"

The two turned to see Sunburn, Whirlwind, and Trigger Happy approaching fast. "Well, they're still alive..." Whirlwind sighed.

"Sunburn? Whirlwind?" Stealth questioned.

"Trig!" Spyro exclaimed.

Trigger waved nervously. "Uh... hi."

"Hey, what did I miss?" They turned to see Freeze Blade skating over.

"More people?" Stealth shook herself off and turned back to Spyro. "Listen Spyro, I-"

Spyro grumbled. "No, _you_ listen, elf girl. I had to wait through twenty-four hours of being the wrong gender, wrong species, and having the wrong amount of legs, while _you_ ran around doing who the hell knows what." Stealth backed away a little. "I had to just wait around trying to deal with it! I hate your freaking mask, by the way. Oh, and these things?" He pulled out Stealth's Dragonfang Daggers and dropped them on the ground. "Not a fan!"

Stealth gasped. "How dare you!" she growled. "You have no idea how disrespectful that is."

Freeze and Trig exchanged glances. "Hey guys, maybe if we just talked about this..." Freeze began. "Y'know, calmly..."

 **"I AM CALM!"** Spyro and Stealth exclaimed at the same time.

"All I wanted was time to train under Trap Shadow!" Stealth cried. "What's so wrong with that?!"

Spyro seemed about ready to explode. "'What's so wrong with that?!' Seriously?! We've been stuck in each other's bodies for two days!"

"Well, technically..." Sunburn began.

"Shut up, Sunburn," Spyro growled. "Seriously Stealth, you already have a mentor in Stink Bomb! Eon assigned us our mentors for a reason! I mean, really! He could teach you how to throw a shuriken-"

 **"I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO THROW A SHURIKEN!"**

The others yelped. "That's the loudest I've ever heard her say something!" Trig exclaimed.

"Me too..." Whirlwind said.

"In my defense, I haven't known you guys very long," Freeze Blade said.

"You know what?!" Spyro exclaimed. "I've had about enough of you!" He snatched the daggers off of the ground and lunged at Stealth. She rolled her eyes and swiftly moved out of the way. "Wha-?" Spyro turned to see that she was behind him now. "How'd I miss?!"

"I'm faster than you," Stealth replied.

 _"How?!_ I'm in your body!"

"While you were busy complaining," Stealth Elf responded. "I was figuring out how to control your powers and move around in your body."

Spyro muttered something under his breath. "I still beat you!" he cried, lunging again. Stealth smirked and shot a fire ball at him. "OW! Is that really how it feels on the receiving end?!"

"Stealth has a definite advantage," Sunburn observed.

"But Spyro is really _fired up!"_ Whirlwind laughed. Sunburn rolled his eyes.

Trigger Happy appeared to be extremely confused, glancing back and forth, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. "Go Spyro! No, wait, go Stealth Elf! No, I, uh..."

"I know exactly how you feel," Freeze sighed.

Stealth knocked Spyro to the ground with her tail. "Nice try."

Spyro shot back up and threw one of the daggers at Stealth's head.

Stealth rubbed the spot it hit. "Ow. That's also disrespectful."

"To who, you?" Spyro questioned. "Doesn't matter. I want my body back!"

"Maybe if you would just listen to me-" Spyro tackled her before she could finish her sentence.

"This is bad..." Trig whimpered.

"They're gonna get hurt!" Whirlwind exclaimed. "Sunburn! Do something!"

"Eeeehhh?!" Sunburn cried. "What am I supposed to do?!"

Stealth bit down on Spyro's hair and started pulling.

"Ow! Ow! Quit it! This is why I don't have hair!" Spyro cried. Stealth let let go and Spyro landed on his face again. "...ow."

"You don't have hair because your a dragon," Stealth retorted.

Spyro folded his arms, then slid beneath Stealth and kicked her in the stomach. "WAKKA-POW!"

Stealth went flying and landed on her face, much like Spyro had been all day. "Ow..." she sat up and shook herself off. "What did you just say?!"

"Gibberish," Spyro replied, arms folded and looking very proud of himself. "I said gibberish."

Stealth muttered something, rubbing her head. "This is starting to get really frustrating." Spyro jumped at her and tried to fight the same way she does, but ended up looking like a total idiot, and Stealth tripped him. She raised an eyebrow, then scorched him. "If that's what I look like when I fight, I'm ashamed of myself."

"Shouldn't we do something?" Freeze Blade asked. Trigger shrugged.

Spyro struggled to his feet, then turned back to face Stealth. "You're not the only one who's getting pretty damn frustrated."

Stealth realized something. _(An opening... that's my chance!)_ She charged at Spyro, who didn't react fast enough. They hit heads, and then got knocked out cold.

"STEALTH ELF!" Sunburn and Whirlwind cried.'

"SPYRO!" Trigger Happy and Freeze Blade exclaimed.

They dashed over to their friends' sides and examined them. "Are they okay?" Whirl asked.

"I can't tell..." Sunburn replied. Whirlwind looked disheartened.

Suddenly, Spyro's body started to stir. The others exchanged "is that Spyro or Stealth Elf?" glances. Whoever it was, they slowly sat up and rubbed their head. "Hey..." They opened their eyes and stared at their hand. They gasped then leaped to their feet. "I'm me again!"

Sunburn and Freeze Blade's jaws dropped, Whirlwind let out a sigh of relief, and Trigger Happy's tongue lolled out again.

Spyro laughed. "It's good to be me again!" he exclaimed.

 **"Spyro!"** Trigger Happy latched onto his friend and gave him a hug.

Spyro sweatdropped. "Hey there, Trig."

"So, wait..." Sunburn started.

"If _that's_ Spyro..." Whirlwind continued.

"Then I'm back here."

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" the five screamed, and turned to see Stealth Elf, wide awake.

"W-W-When did you wake up?" Freeze Blade asked.

"About five seconds ago," Stealth replied.

Whirlwind hugged her. "I'm just glad your both back in your own bodies!" she exclaimed.

Stealth sighed. "Me too."

"Me three," Sunburn proclaimed.

"Me four!" Trig cried.

"Me five," Freeze added.

"Me infinity..." Spyro sighed.

Stealth pushed Whirlwind off of her. "I guess I was wrong. There isn't much that Trap Shadow can teach me." She turned to Spyro. "Spyro, on the other hand, could learn a thing or two from him."

Spyro nodded. "Like I said, Master Eon chose our mentors wisely."

You couldn't see it, but Stealth smiled a bit. Then she scowled. "Oh, one more thing, Spyro."

"What is it?"

She thwaked him hard on the head. _"That's_ for soiling my pants."

"Owie..." Spyro stood back up. "Hey, what did you want me to do?! Take them off and-"

Stealth Elf looked enraged.

Spyro flinched. "Uh... I'm gonna end this conversation before you kill me..." Sunburn, Whirlwind and Freeze Blade sweatdropped. Trigger Happy looked confused.

"Nice move," Sunburn said sarcastically.

"I think Stealth is 'all fired up...'" Whirl sighed.

Trig tilted his head, then shook himself off. "Look, it's great that you two got yer happy ending and everything," The others turned to him. "but Spy Rise's class starts in like, five minutes, so I really gotta go..."

Stealth Elf looked at the ground for moment. "Spy Rise's class is at the same time as Stink Bomb's..." Some kind of alarm went off in her head. "AAHH! I-I-I really gotta go!"

* * *

Stink Bomb was holding a notepad and a pencil. "Alright, roll call," he said. "Zoo Lou?"

"Here!"

"Bumble Blast?"

"Here."

"Camo?"

"Present!"

"...Stealth Elf?"

Stealth skidded into the hollow, breathing heavily and sweating. "P-Present and accounted for!" she exclaimed.

"Stealth Elf?" Bumble Blast asked.

"You're not late?" Camo questioned.

"...and we didn't have to go find you?" Zoo Lou sounded baffled.

Stealth Elf shook her head. "Nope! I'm here!" She turned to her mentor. "...I think I learned a little something today..."

Stink Bomb smiled. "Well, it's nice to see that you're here," he said. "Now, why don't we start with something simple today? Who wants to learn how to throw a shuriken?"

Stealth raised an eyebrow, then sighed. "That sounds great."

From a distance, Spyro watched the class. He smiled, then flapped his wings and took off over Woodburrow.

 **To be continued...**

* * *

|| Oh thank god it's over.

Let's see, what can I say about this story that I haven't already...? Well, even if it is terrible, it did start quite a few things that carry over not only into the later stories, but also the reboot. Stealth and Whirlwind's friendship, Trigger Happy the fourth wall breaker, _StealthBurn..._ It also started the awful, awful "Wakka-Pow!" catchphrase that I'm pretty sure I realized was stupid from the second I came up with it.

Garbage. This entire story is garbage.

God.

Next time: _Pop Fizz... of DOOM!_ ||


	6. Swappable Stoppable: Credits

|| As a wind-down between stories, I'll add a bonus segment to replace the old "credits". It includes the song that was originally featured in the credits, the original "next time on Skylanders Short Stories" teaser that was featured at the end of the credits, any reviews on the story that I felt were worth saving, and anything else that I feel like throwing in there.

This... probably isn't against site rules. ||

* * *

 **THIS HAS BEEN SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SWAPPABLE STOPPABLE, STARRING:  
**

 **NOT-SUNBURN**

 **NOT-FLASHWING**

 **NOT-PINKIE PIE**

 **NOT-RAINBOW DASH**

 **NOT-AN IDIOT**

 **MR. "HERE-FOR-THE-LOLZ" FREEZE**

 **AND MASTER SPLINTER**

* * *

 **Here's what people have been saying about** ** _Skylanders Short Stories: Swappable Stoppable..._**

 _"This should be interesting. What's gonna happen now? |_ _Strange how neither of them seemed to notice or care that they changed genders until Flashwing pointed it out. But yeah, this is pretty good. | Right. I do prefer SunburnXWhirlwind to SunburnXFlashwing, but that's just me. Anyway, this is pretty fun. | Well, that was interesting. And something tells me the conclusion of this . . . . five-shot? will be awesome. | Hmm, I think next time it's Pop Fizz, right?"_ -Technow

 _"I dont wana spoil nuthing soon the skylanders would be able to analyze U and Might be able to talk or know how u shook it IN TOY FORM In skylanders4 dont worry skylanders 4 has been confirmed"_ -Guest

 _"Wait, what does 'abnormal' mean?"_ -Stealth Elf

 _"Sunburn's song at the beginning was fantastic XD This story's going great, keep it up :)"_ -Tails267

 _"We love LOVE LOVE your stories! Keep them coming please! | Awesome story. Waiting for chapter 5. So funny - totally loving your stuff. We want to know how Spyro and Stealth elf got back into their own bodies. Thanks heaps"_ -Kim and Jimmy

 _"Oh, that is a LIE. I did not 'soil her pants'. I actually happen to have a rather strong bladder, thank you very much. Although, I was in HER body, not mine... Uh, sorry, TMI?"_ -Spyro the Dragon

 _"This is excellent your good at skylanders fanfics keep it up pal. :-)"_ -Samjax

* * *

 **Original Credits Song:** _"I'll Be There For You"_ by the Rembrandts

 **Song in Chapter 3:** _"Meet the SWAP Force Rap"_ by the Skylander Boy and Girl

 **Next Time on Dragon Ball Z- I mean, Skylanders Short Stories:** When soda goes bad...

* * *

|| Looking back on how many people actually liked these stories, I'm reminded of the phrase "you're your own worst critic". And yeah, that's true, at least so far it has been for me. But... yeah, Swappable Stoppable was pretty trash. I don't know if I'll rewrite it for the reboot, but as of now I don't have any plans for it. ||


	7. Pop Fizz of DOOM: 1

|| Now then, welcome to the second installment into the original and discontinued Skylanders Short Stories, titled _"Pop Fizz... of DOOM!"_ While I can honestly say that it is an _enormous_ improvement on _Swappable Stoppable_ , it's... it's still pretty bad. Other than the awful pacing that's even worse here than it was in Swappable Stoppable, there are also several other problems with the story including characters that serve little to no purpose in the plot and are just there because reasons, as well as the _complete and utter stupidity_ expressed by several of the characters. And by several I mean all of them. Everyone is an idiot in this story. Ech. ||

* * *

 **SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: POP FIZZ... OF DOOM!**

 _June 2014 - July 2014_

Pop Fizz, feeling neglected by the others, runs into the forest with a crushed soul. But he runs into everybody's least favorite Dark Portal Master, and things get ugly. Now it's up to Slam Bam, Cynder and Jet-Vac to rescue Skylands from an unexpected enemy... Implied Spyro x Cynder. Rated T for mild language. Five-shot.

 **Chapter One**

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"

Pop Fizz stormed down the roads of Woodburrow in the direction of the training grounds. He was holding a couple of books under his arm, and looked frantic.

He ran past Scratch. "Good morning, Pop Fizz," she said.

"Mornin', Scratch!" Fizz called.

He ran past Wash Buckler. "Hey there, Pop Fizz!" he said.

"Hi Wash Buckler!" Fizz exclaimed. "I'm late for my class!"

"I can see that!" Wash laughed.

Pop Fizz was starting to run out of stamina, but he kept going because he was almost there. "If I stop now..." he huffed. "I'll never make it..." then he tripped over the wood. "Gosh darn it..."

"Pop Fizz?"

He looked up to see Spyro and Dune Bug staring down at him. "You alright?" Spyro asked.

Pop Fizz let out a long, deep sigh. "I don't think so..."

Dune Bug helped him to his feet. "Why are you so late?" he asked.

"Well, uh..." Fizz turned away. "I was working on some new potions, and I lost track of time..." he admitted.

Spyro and Dune Bug exchanged glances, then started laughing. "There's no reason to ashamed of that, Fizz!" Spyro told him. "What do the potions do?"

Pop Fizz smiled and scratched behind his ear. "Well, they're supposed to give me the powers or abilities of other Skylanders..."

"Really?" Dune Bug asked. "Do any of them work?"

"Uh..." Pop Fizz sighed. "No. I tried making one that would give me your powers, Spyro, but it just made me sick..."

Spyro flashed a smile. "Just keep trying! I'm sure you'll get it!"

"Spyro! Dune Bug!"

The three turned to see Voodood approaching them. "Oh, Pop Fizz?" he questioned.

"Yeah..." Fizz said. "Sorry I'm late."

Voodood started laughing. "No offense, little guy, but I didn't even notice you weren't here!"

Pop Fizz's ears folded back. "None taken..." he grumbled. "Where's Trap Shadow?"

"Well, I was working with him," Voodood replied. "and Spyro and Dune were practicing, and we noticed they weren't there anymore, so he sent me to find them. He's over there."

"Let's get back to practice!" Spyro exclaimed.

"Alright!" Dune Bug and Voodood chorused.

While they walked ahead, Pop Fizz padded over to Spyro. "There's a rumor going around Woodburrow that you and elf girl switched bodies," he said. "Is that true?"

Spyro sighed. "Yeah, Fizz," he responded. "I swapped bodies with Stealth Elf."

"How?"

"Science... Physics... beats me."

Fizz scratched his head. "How'd ya like that?"

"Not at all..." Spyro grumbled.

Fizz snickered. "Alright, the fact that rumor's true just made my day."

Spyro rolled his eyes.

"Ah, Pop Fizz!" Fizz looked up from the humorous moment to see his mentor, Trap Shadow. "I was wondering when you would get here."

Pop Fizz rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh... sorry 'bout that," he said. "I was working on my alchemy."

"I understand," Trap Shadow told him. "It is not an issue."

Pop Fizz smiled a little. "Alright... if you say so."

* * *

Slam Bam and Jet-Vac were standing near the enchanted pool, conversing about who knows what.

"All I'm saying is that a mascot would be pretty cool!" Slam Bam exclaimed.

Jet-Vac sighed. "The Skylanders don't need a mascot, Slam Bam," he said.

Slam Bam snorted. "Ah, what do you know?"

They noticed as a shadow swished across the ground in front of them. "Hey, look who it is!" Jet-Vac said.

"Hey, Cynder!" Slam Bam called.

Cynder materialized from the ground and let out a sigh. "Hello, boys," she said. "What do you want?"

Jet-Vac and Slam Bam exchanged glances. "What, can't we just say 'hi' to our friend?" Slam questioned.

Cynder raised an eyebrow. "It's not like you to do that," she acknowledged.

Jet glared at Slam, who shrugged. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"My class," Cynder replied. "It starts soon."

"Your mentor is Night Shift, right?" Jet-Vac asked.

Cynder nodded. "Yes, why?"

"Oh, well I'm glad we stopped you!" Jet laughed. "Night Shift, Freeze Blade, and Free Ranger were all sent on a mission. The lessons were canceled."

"Oh," Cynder said in a surprised tone. "Well, thank you Jet-Vac. I didn't know that."

Slam laughed. "I guess that means the three of us get the day off!" he exclaimed. "We should do something today."

"Like what?" Jet inquired.

There was a long moment of awkward silence after that, and then Tessa and Flynn rushed over to them. "Skylanders!" Tessa exclaimed. "There's something important that we need you to do!"

"You don't have to address us so formally," Slam said. "See? Slam Bam, Jet-Vac, and Cynder."

Tessa sighed. "Right, sorry."

"Tell them the mission!" Flynn cried impatiently, flailing his arms.

"Okay! Okay! I'll tell them!"

A few meters away, Pop Fizz was walking around, looking down at his book. His class at recently been dismissed, and he was a little disheartened because he was the worst in his class. He looked up to see Tessa giving his friends an assignment.

"A group of Greebles going around destroying air ships?" Jet questioned.

"You have to stop them!" Flynn exclaimed. "I don't know what I'll do if my ship is destroyed again!"

Tessa sighed. "It will put a lot of people at ease," she said. "including Flynn. Please, just do it."

"Sure!" Slam exclaimed, cracking his knuckles. "Since our mentors are out, we've got nothing better to do!"

Cynder nodded. "I'll go. That just leaves Jet-Vac."

Jet scratched his head. "Well, I suppose," he said. "Doesn't sound too very difficult. I've gone on harder Bonus Missions."

"Great!" Tessa cried, as Flynn gave a relieved sigh. "You three get to that, and we'll check in later, alright?"

"Alright," the Skylanders replied, then Tessa and Flynn dashed away.

"Let's get moving, then!" Slam exclaimed.

"Hey, hey guys!" the three turned to see Pop Fizz zooming up to them. "Can I go too? I really could use something to do! Plus, Trap Shadow says I could use the practice!"

Jet and Cynder exchanged glances with raised eyebrows, then Slam Bam burst out laughing. Pop Fizz tilted his head at this, and his ears flattened again. "No offense, little buddy," Slam laughed. "but the last time you battled Greebles, we had to send you back to Woodburrow on a stretcher!"

Fizz lowered his head, shining puppy-dog eyes up at the others. "B-But I..."

"Seriously, they destroyed you!" Slam turned back to Cynder and Jet-Vac with a chuckle. "Remember when the Ironclads came? They crushed him!"

Jet sighed. "Slam Bam..." Cynder growled.

Fizz sniffled. "Oh... Okay then..." he mumbled. "I guess... I'll just stay here..."

Cynder and Jet-Vac just walked away, Jet casting a sorry glance back to Pop Fizz as he left. "Alrighty then!" Slam called as he rushed toward the gate. "See ya later, little guy!"

Fizz stood where he was for a few moments with a pouty face, then dashed out the gate as well. "Guys! Wait!" he called. There was no response. "C'mon, please! I wanna go with you! I can fight! I really can!" He ran all around Cloudbreak in search of them.

But they weren't there. They weren't anywhere. Slam Bam, Jet-Vac and Cynder had left Pop Fizz behind, whining like a puppy.

"Guys...?"

He stopped in his tracks. "Guys?!" he desperately called. He sniffled again, then ran into the forest with tears in his eyes.

 _(They left me! They left me behind! They think I'm weak... they all do...)_

He tripped and fell on his face. His sobs grew louder. _(I am weak! I'm no good! They left me behind because I'm no good!)_

"Why hello there, Pop Fizz," a rough voice cackled from behind him. Fizz glanced up, his eyes wet with tears and wide with shock. "Fancy meeting you here. Is something wrong?"

 _(Kaos!)_

* * *

|| And then he shivs Kaos with a knife. End of series.

Okay, no, that's not what happens. Remember when I said that everyone is an idiot in this story? Everyone is an idiot in this story. Everyone. ||


	8. Pop Fizz of DOOM: 2

|| And here we have Chapter 2 of Pop Fizz... of DOOM! AKA "the part where logical pacing gets thrown out the window and I can't decide how to label chapters". ||

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

"Kaos!" Pop Fizz exclaimed, leaping to his feet. "What are you doing here?!"

Kaos snickered. "What, can't Skylands' greatest evildoer just go for a nice, relaxing walk in the forest?"

Fizz raised an eyebrow. "It's... not... normal of him..." he said.

Kaos laughed. "Well, as long as we're here, why don't we have a little... chat?"

Pop Fizz grumbled and whipped out a potion. "No way am I going to 'chat' with you!" he growled. "You and I are all alone, and I have a chance to defeat you for good! If I take this chance, then all of the other Skylanders will stop thinking of me as a whining lil' wimp!" He shook the potion vigorously, seemingly wondering whether to throw or drink it.

"Oh, please," Kaos chuckled. "Why earn the trust of the other Skylanders..." His face darkened. "...when you can have them waiting on you hand and, er, paw?"

Fizz paused and tilted his head, his grip on the potion loosening. "W-What do you mean?" he questioned.

Kaos grinned. "What if I offered you the chance to be the most – er, second most – powerful conqueror in Skylands?"

Pop Fizz dropped the potion on the ground, then glanced down at his feet. He frowned and looked back up at the Dark Portal Master. Reluctantly, he said, "Tell me more."

* * *

"Has anyone seen Pop Fizz?" Spyro asked.

"Not since this morning," Sunburn replied. Other Skylanders began to gather in confusion. "Why?"

Spyro scratched his head. "I was looking for him earlier, I thought we could go on a Bonus Mission together. Y'know, he could use the experience. But he wasn't at his house."

Whirlwind and Tigger Happy exchanged glances, then stepped forward. "Do you think he ran away?" Whirlwind asked.

"I don't see why he would," Spyro said.

"Maybe we should send a search party?" Trigg suggested.

Spyro nodded. "You're right Trigg." He turned to the other Skylanders. "Gill Grunt, Trigger Happy and I will go out and look for Pop Fizz."

"We will?" Trigg questioned.

Spyro glared at him. "Yes, we will."

Trigg sighed. "Yes, we will..." _(Me and my big mouth...)_

Gill Grunt emerged from the crowd. "S'cuse me, pardon me- oops! Sorry!" He puffed out his chest. "Ready for action, Spyro!" he exclaimed.

"Great!" Spyro said with a smile. "Sunburn! You're in charge of the Cores while I'm gone."

"Awesome!" Sunburn cried. Whirlwind blushed slightly in the background.

"Gill! Trigg! Let's find Pop Fizz!" He turned backwards. "Oh, and Sunburn; If we're not back by sundown, send another search party."

"You can count on me!"

* * *

Slam Bam threw a Greeble into a tree, then tossed another one into the air. Jet-Vac blasted it out of the sky. "Nice shot!" Slam called.

"Nice teamwork!" Jet laughed.

Cynder materialized not that far away, then electrocuted the last Slamspin. "That takes care of that," she said. "That was disappointingly easy."

Slam stretched. "No kidding," he grumbled. Jet carefully landed next to them.

"Great job, Skylanders!" Sharpfin approached them, humming a little melody to himself. "You did a real fine job with those lugs. Ready to head back to Woodburrow?"

The Skylanders exchanged glances. Jet shrugged and Slam shook his head. "We'd rather hang around to see if there's anything to do on this stupid island," he said.

"Alrighty then," Sharpfin nodded. "I'll be on the ship with my enchiladas when you guys are ready."

"Ooh, could I get one of those?" Jet asked. Cynder hit him on the back of the head. "Ow..."

Cynder sighed. "You know, Slam Bam, I don't like the way you were talking to Pop Fizz earlier," she said. "You probably hurt his feelings."

"Oh, please," Slam rolled his eyes. "The little guy isn't fragile or anything."

Cynder scowled at him. "Right," she growled. "You're apologizing when we get back."

"Oh, come on!"

Jet glanced from Slam to Cynder and back, then sighed. "I'm going to go scout around," he said. "I'll be back." He took flight in the opposite direction of his bickering friends. He soared up into the sky and looked down at the islands below. "Ah, this reminds me of the good ol' days in Windham." He soared about the islands gleefully with his memories of being a flying ace.

"Hang on... what's that?" He looked down to see what appeared to be an army of Trolls. Jet raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to have to check this out..." He landed in the branches of a tree, careful not to make too much noise. On the other side of the field, he saw what he assumed to be Spyro, Trigger Happy and Gill Grunt, arguing about which direction to go. Jet turned his head in the other direction, seeing the army of Trolls. "Well, that's not good. I have to warn them... huh?"

The Trolls grew closer, and Jet noticed that they were being lead by something blue. "Okay, I seriously doubt that's Chill Bill, so who is it?" The blue leader waved it's hands and started shouting commands at the Trolls. "I should warn Spyro and the others..."

But before he could take such actions, however, the blue figure signaled and the Trolls charged. Gill pointed and Spyro and Trigg spun around to see the horde. Spyro smirked, then said something to his companions that Jet-Vac couldn't hear.

Jet watched from his hiding spot as the two groups charged at each other. They clashed almost directly in front of the tree, and the Sky Baron kept his distance. _(If anything happens, I have to warn the others... I can't risk engaging.)_

Spyro blasted one of the Trolls with a fireball, then headcharged the others. Trigg whipped out his machine gun and laughed hysterically as the enemies fell. Gill harpooned one and took to the skies with his water pack, blasting away the Trolls into Trigger Happy's firing range.

 _(Ah, the experts at work!)_ Jet thought to himself. _(I wish I could have been a member of the original 32. And to think, Spyro, Trigger Happy and Gill Grunt were the first three! From the stories, Cynder had the invitation, but took a while to except...)_

"Hey! Cut that out!" Jet snapped out of his daydream to see a Troll ripping the turret out of Trigg's hands. It knocked the gremlin gunslinger to the ground, and two others tossed chains around him.

A Missile Mauler blasted Gill Grunt's water pack, effectively shooting him down. A Trollverine dashed in and tackled the Gillman, then snatched his harpoon. More Trolls tied him up the same as Trigg.

"Gill! Trigg!" Spyro exclaimed.

Jet winced. _(How could Trolls come up with such a sophisticated plan?!)_ Then it clicked. _(The Blue Leader! But where-?!)_

Like it was summoned by Jet's thoughts, a puff of green smoke burst up and the Blue Leader emerged in front of Spyro. "Well well well, look who it is! A Skylander trying to foil my ingenious plans!"

Jet sweatdropped. _(W-What the hell?)_

Spyro tilted his head. "Huh? What are you doing here?" he questioned. "...and what in the name of sheep is on your eyes?"

Jet-Vac was right. The Blue Leader wasn't Chill Bill, nor a Troll of any sort. It was instead, the familiar face of a certain gremlin, except wearing paint over his eyes to look like Kaos.

It was Pop Fizz! ...but why?

He grumbled. "You really don't get it, do you?" he asked.

Spyro shrugged. "What's to get?"

Fizz's eye twitched. "I'm capturing you!" he exclaimed. "I'm commanding an army of Trolls to capture you and take you to Lord Kaos!"

Spyro stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. "You're joking, right? Seriously, take off the make-up and help me free Trigg and Gill."

Fizz fumed and jumped up and down frustratedly. "It's not make-up if it's for dudes! And I'm not joking! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!" He growled then pointed at the purple dragon. "Trolls! Tie him up like the others!"

"Wait, what?"

Jet stared on as the Trollverines pinned Spyro down and Pop Fizz tied him down himself, setting his foot on the dragon's back, claiming victory. "Pop Fizz, just... **why?!** Why are you doing this?!"

Fizz snorted, walking around to Spyro's front. "Because, fool, I've gotten sick of you and the others treating me like dirt!" Spyro was charging a fireball, but the Trolls muzzled him. Fizz clenched his fist, ready to deliver a knockout punch. "Light's out 'boss!' Oh yeah, and...

"I resign."

* * *

By the time Jet got back to where Sharpfin had docked the airship, Slam-Bam and Cynder were still talking. Er, arguing. "You're just grumpy because you can't get Spyro to go on a date with you," Slam taunted with a sly look on his face.

Cynder blushed. "Th-That's not true!" she exclaimed.

Slam chuckled. "Spyro and Cynder sitting in tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Cynder slapped him.

"Cynder! Slam-Bam!" Jet-Vac exclaimed, flying over. "You're not going to believe what I saw!"

Slam grabbed Jet's head and pushed him away. "Can't you see we're in the middle of a conversation here?" he grumbled.

"Let him talk, Slam-Bam," Cynder growled. "What did you see?"

Jet scratched his head. "I can barely believe it myself..." he admitted. "It was Pop Fizz! Pop Fizz with make-up over his eyes to look like Kaos in control of a Troll army capturing Spyro, Trigger Happy and Gill Grunt to take them to Kastle Kaos!"

Slam and Cynder exchanged glances. "What?" Slam asked.

"You're joking, right?" Cynder said.

Jet shook his head. "I wish I was," he said. "We have to rescue them! Please, you two have to believe me!"

Slam paused, wearing a confused look. Cynder stepped forward. "I believe you, Jet-Vac," she said. "Slam-Bam, tell Sharpfin to set course for Kastle Kaos."

Slam shook himself off. "I don't get it! Why would our little buddy Pop Fizz turn to the dark side?"

Cynder scowled. "Maybe because you're a jerk to him."

Slam rolled his eyes, then dashed onto the ship.

Jet sighed. "This is something I never thought I'd say..." He looked up. "Let's go stop Pop Fizz from taking over Skylands."

* * *

|| I did that chapter-label-screw-up on Swappable Stoppable too, what the heck? Did I just not try at all whatsoever?

Oh, okay, so Cynder has a crush on Spyro? That's gonna be relevant later, right? No? Okay... ||


	9. Pop Fizz of DOOM: 3

|| And here we have chapter 3 of Pop Fizz... of DOOM! AKA "the part where I put my favorite character in it because reasons". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

 **"WOO-HOO!"** Pop Fizz cheered. "I captured the three best Skylanders! I captured the three best Skylanders!"

"Yes you did!" Kaos cackled. "And I can't begin to tell you how proud I am... of _me_ for turning you to the dark side!"

Fizz laughed. "Yeah, I guess I don't know my own strength!" He flexed his muscles.

"More like the strength of an army of Trolls..." Glumshanks muttered from his seat, where he was sitting with a cup of tea and a newspaper.

"Quiet, fool!" Kaos scolded. "Now, as a reward for this brilliant _success_ , I've decided to expand your army to more than just Trolls..."

"Really?!" Pop Fizz exclaimed. "Show me! Show me! **Show me now!** "

Kaos chuckled. "Alright, alright! If you insist..." He pulled out a remote control and pressed a big red button. **"Behold!"** In his Portal, the projection of an army of minions appeared. "Pop Fizz's army of Ultimate Evil **DOOM!**...2.0, of course. Now including Cyclops and Greebles."

Pop Fizz stared at the projection with his mouth gaping open, then he did a little dance. "That's... so... **awesome!** " he exclaimed.

Kaos frowned at his new partner's attitude, then shrugged. "Oh, and you also get your own Free Range Chompy Farm."

Fizz gasped. "My own Free Range Chompy Farm?!" He did the dance again. "This is the best day ever!"

Kaos nodded. "Yes, yes... Now, about this plan of yours..."

"Oh, you looked it over?!" Fizz asked. "Is it the best thing ever, or what?!"

"Well, yes," Kaos replied. "I think it has the brilliant potential to destroy the Skylanders! But, my only question is... do you have the potion?"

Fizz clenched his teeth. "Well, no..." he admitted. "Not yet. But I've been working on it! It's almost ready. In fact, it might as well be ready! And..." He reached into his red jacket and pulled out two potions, one green and one blue. "I've perfected these puppies!"

Kaos smirked. "Excellent."

* * *

Camo, Zoo Lou, and Bumble Blast were wandering around Cloudbreak, Lou looking extremely nervous. It was sundown, and Spyro, Gill and Trigg hadn't returned, so Sunburn did as was asked and sent another search party. However, he could have chosen somebody better than Zoo Lou.

"B-B-But what if whatever took Pop Fizz and the others comes for us?!" Lou exclaimed.

"Oh my god, would you _calm down?!"_ Camo cried. "Nothing's going to happen!"

"Right," Bumble concurred. "We're just gonna find Spyro and the others and get back to Woodburrow."

"B-But that's what Spyro said! Oh, we're gonna get eaten by a monster..."

Bumble sighed and Camo rolled his eyes. "There's no monster," Camo assured him. "And we're not gonna get eaten."

"Oh, the latter is true..." a voice boomed. "...but there is a **monster!** "

The three spun around at the remark, and Zoo Lou started crying. Camo growled. "Who are you?! _Where_ are you, and what did you do with our friends?!"

"You three are even more oblivious than Spyro..." From the shadows, Pop Fizz leaped down with a potion in hand.

"Pop Fizz?" the Life Elements questioned.

"It's nice to see a familiar face!" Bumble exclaimed.

"...even if there's ridiculous make-up on it..." Camo muttered.

Zoo Lou still looked afraid. "Guys, something's not right..."

Fizz scowled. "No dip Sherlock," he growled. He pulled out and orange potion, gave it a good shake, then threw it down to create a big puff of smoke. He pulled out a chain and gave it a good toss into the orange cloud.

"Hey!"

"What the-"

"Not good!"

Fizz smirked as the smoke died down and revealed a tied up Camo, Zoo Lou and Bumble Blast. "Like taking candy from a tied up baby."

"Alright, so the _monster_ was actually Pop Fizz?!" Camo exclaimed.

"Bingo!" Fizz laughed.

Zoo Lou started crying again. "We're all gonna die!" Fizz facepalmed.

"Who's gonna send the search party for us?!" Bumble cried.

Suddenly, a shuriken flew down from seemingly nowhere and landed right next to Fizz's foot. "Ah-Ha!" the gremlin exclaimed, spinning around and looking up into the branches of a tree, to see what he wasn't expecting. "Huh?"

In the tree was a certain leather-clad elf with her arms folded, leaned against the trunk. She held up her hand and flashed three throwing stars. "I know how to throw a shuriken!"

"Stealth Elf!" the Life boys exclaimed.

"Elf girl?" Pop Fizz questioned. "Eh. I was expecting Stink Bomb." He shrugged. "Oh well. You'll make just as excellent an addition to my army." He grinned evilly.

"Uh-huh," Stealth said. "Why don't you just untie them, give back Spyro and the others and we'll all head back to Woodburrow."

Fizz shook his head. "Uh, yeah, how 'bout I _don't_ do that, I capture you, and we all head to Kastle Kaos?"

Stealth leaped down from the tree to confront him. "How about no?"

Fizz grumbled. "Please," he growled. "You can't do anything to stop me. Soon all of Skylands will belong to Lord Kaos, and it will all be thanks to me- Pop Fizz!" He paused. " **...of DOOM!** "

The other boys gave him a weird look, and Stealth facepalmed. "Pop Fizz sounds like Kaos," she muttered. "It's snowing on Treacherous Beach."

Pop Fizz snarled. "Ha ha," he said. He charged at her, tried to throw a punch at her, but she moved out of the way at the last second.

"Nice try."

Fizz fumed. "Alright, I'm starting to get sick of you." He threw another orange potion to the ground, which was more effective on Stealth than the boys because her vision was already bad. Fizz pulled out a green potion and gave it a shake. "Here goes nothing..." He gulped it down, then made a face. "Ugh. Note to self, make better tasting soda." He flinched. "Urk!" He crouched down in pain. His fur turned green and his jacket (somehow) turned brown. He opened his eyes, which had also turned green, then slowly stood up.

"Woah," the Life boys gasped.

Stealth looked unamused. "Green fur. I'm _so_ scared."

Fizz cackled. "Oh, it's more than just green fur." He flashed a toothy grin, then completely disappeared.

Stealth's ears drooped. "Oh," she said. "Now I get it." Her ears perked back up and she closed her eyes.

"What's she doing?" Zoo Lou whispered.

"You don't know by now?" Camo questioned.

Stealth stood still for several moments, then her eyes shot open, She turned around and threw a punch, then Pop Fizz reappeared.

"Ow!" Fizz exclaimed when he hit the ground. "Ugh, how'd you know I was there?!"

"I could _hear_ you," Stealth replied. "Did you really think you could defeat me with my own techniques? Knowing ninjitsu doesn't make you a ninja."

Fizz grumbled, then leaped onto his feet. "Yeah, whatever," he growled. He leaped into the air and came crashing down, but Stealth dashed out of the way. She threw another shuriken at him, which he swiftly avoided, then back flipped behind the elf. He dashed at her, at the boys watched their combat.

"Something's seriously wrong with Pop Fizz," Bumble Blast said.

"Go Stealth Elf!" Zoo Lou exclaimed.

Stealth jumped on Fizz's head, knocking him to the ground. "Hey, cut it out!" Pop Fizz swiftly jumped back up and kicked her in the back, making that the first time he had been able to hit her.

"Stealth!" Camo cried.

Stealth had landed on her left arm, a limb of hers that seemed to get hurt a lot. She sat up and examined it, then sighed. "Damn..."

"What's the matter, elf girl?" Fizz taunted. "Broke yer arm again?"

"That's happened before?" Zoo Lou asked.

"Several times," Camo replied. "Always the same arm. I think it's prone to injury."

"Oh..."

Stealth grumbled and, careful of her arm, stood back up and vanished. Pop Fizz looked around, then growled. "Second note to self, include enhanced hearing to soda." Half a second after he said that, a green tiger popped out of nowhere and mauled him. **"ARGH!"** Fizz shook himself off as the tiger skidded behind him. "Agh, no fair turning into a tiger!" he exclaimed and there was a flash of light and the tiger turned back into Stealth Elf, who was holding her injured arm.

"Pop Fizz can't replicate that ability," Bumble said.

"That doesn't necessarily mean she'll win," Camo said.

"B-But what happens if she doesn't win?!" Lou asked.

Camo swallowed. "I th-think we're about to find out..."

Fizz grabbed Stealth's arm (doing so immobilized her) and tossed her to the ground. She winced. "Pop Fizz..."

Fizz pressed down on a pressure point. "I've never liked you..." he growled. Two seconds later, Stealth was passed out. Fizz smirked as his fur turned back to blue. He picked up the unconscious elf and approached the boys.

"Now, who wants to go on a _field trip?"_

* * *

Four clear, impenetrable capsules is what Pop Fizz brutally threw his four prisoners into. First Bumble and Zoo Lou, then Camo and Stealth Elf. The cages were all lined up in the throne room of Kastle Kaos so Fizz could admire his victory.

"What are you going to do to us?!" Bumble Blast asked.

"Yeah, you can't just leave us in here!" Zoo Lou added.

Fizz snickered. "Oh, you'll see..." he assured them. **"Soon."** He walked out of the room, presumably to converse with Kaos.

Camo sat impatiently in his capsule. "This is so not good..."

"No kidding..." Lou sniffled.

In her cage, which was between Camo and Zoo Lou, Stealth groaned and started to awake. "Stealth..." Camo said.

"W-What happened?" Stealth asked. "Ow..."

"Pop Fizz knocked you out," Bumble told her.

"Now we're prisoners," Lou added.

Stealth sighed. "That's my fault, huh..."

"Don't blame yourself," Camo said. "Pop Fizz is just out of his freaking mind!"

"Yeah!" Zoo Lou and Bumble Blast concurred.

Camo clenched his teeth. "Your arm..."

"I'm fine, Camo," Stealth told him, even though she obviously wasn't. "We need to get out of here..."

Before anybody could come up with anything, Pop Fizz walked back in with two Trolls and a Cyclops. "Grab the boys," he instructed. "Take them to the testing chamber. I'll deal with elf girl."

Stealth glared at him.

The Trolls grabbed Lou and Bumble, who started flailing and complaining. Camo backed up against the capsule when the Cyclops reached in. "Stealth-!"

"I can't do anything right now," she said. "But I promise we'll get out of here... somehow."

When they were gone, Fizz turned to her and pulled out a potion. "Alright, take off the mask."

Stealth raised an eyebrow, then straightened her face. "No."

Fizz growled. "I _said,_ take off the mask."

"I said no."

Fizz's ears folded back and he shook the capsule. "Take off the mask!"

"Nope."

Fizz twitched, then he drank the potion and turned into his beast form. "I said **TAKE OFF THE MASK!"**

Stealth shook her head. Pop Fizz roared and threw a tantrum. Stealth's ears drooped again. "I've gotta find a way out..."

* * *

|| Stealth Elf is here because she's Stealth Elf. Stealth Elf is best Skylander. ||


	10. Pop Fizz of DOOM: 4

|| Here we have chapter 4 of Pop Fizz... of DOOM! AKA "the part where best Skylander sings for the first and only time in this series". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Sharpfin's ship stormed through the airs around Kastle Kaos. "So let me get this straight," Sharpfin said. "Pop Fizz kidnapped Spyro, Gill and Trigg and took them here because he's evil now?"

"Basically," Jet-Vac replied.

"The mission is to go in, find Spyro and get out," Cynder said.

Slam folded his first pair of arms and leaned against the ship with his second. "Uh, what about our little buddy Pop Fizz?" he asked.

Cynder growled and stared at the ground. "He's turned to the dark side," she muttered. "He's dead to me."

Jet and Slam exchanged glances, then Slam scowled and said, "You were on the dark side too, y'know. And ya still would be if it weren't for Spyro."

Jet nervously looked up at him. "Slam-Bam, leave her alone."

"No," Slam growled. "We accepted you," he continued. "and I think you owe it to Pop Fizz to do the same."

Cynder glared at him. _"Only_ if he comes back." She disappeared into the ground and dashed away.

Jet and Slam watched as she left. Jet sighed. "You need be careful around her."

Slam snorted. "Whatever."

"Jet-Vac, you should search for an entry point," Sharpfin instructed.

Jet nodded and put on his visor. "Alright," he replied, hopping over the rail and taking off. "And leave Cynder alone, Slam Bam!"

Slam groaned.

Jet flew around the castle, careful to not be detected. "There must be something... ah-ha!" He flew over to what appeared to be a jail cell window. He tugged on the bars, but couldn't get it open. "Ugh, I can't..." He grumbled and flew back up to the ship. "Slam! I found an entrance, but I can't get it open! Could you-"

 **"Incoming!"**

Slam leaped off the ship and grabbed hold of the iron bars and gave a good pull. It came right off... and Slam Bam came plummeting to his doom.

 **"Slam Bam!"** Jet dived downward and grabbed Slam's upper left hand, but being kinda weak, his grip loosened and the yeti was falling again. "Slam!"

"Coming through!" Jet stumbled as Cynder stormed past him and pulled Slam back up. She came back up and the Sky Barron watched her throw Slam through the now open jail window. "Sharpfin is circling the building so he can pick us up when we come out."

"Alright," Jet-Vac replied. The two slipped through the window after Slam and found them selves in an empty cell with the door wide open.

"Empty..." Slam said.

Cynder was already walking out the door. "Come on. Let's find Spyro and the others and get out."

"You're still removing Pop Fizz from the equation!" Slam exclaimed as he and Jet followed her away.

"Since when do you know anything about math?" Jet questioned.

Cynder skidded to a halt and the boys crashed into each other. "Why'd we stop?" Slam asked.

"Cameras," Cynder whispered. She pointed and the boys looked up.

"How do we get rid of them?" Jet questioned.

"I'll take care of it." Cynder dematerialized into a shadow and slid across the hall. As she did so, several ghosts floated up and covered the camera lenses. Slam and Jet applauded when she reappeared.

"Bravo!" Jet praised.

"I don't see why we couldn't have destroyed them, but cool plan!" Slam added.

"If they were linked to an alarm, destroying them would have set it off," Cynder replied. "We can't take any chances. Now let's go."

* * *

"Thirty-six bottles of soda on the wall, thirty-six bottles of soda... you take one down, pass it around, thirty-five bottles of soda on the wall..."

Stealth Elf sat flimsily in a prison cell. Her legs and right arm were chained to the wall, and her left arm was clumsily and unaffectedly bandaged.

"Thirty-five bottles of soda on the wall, thirty-five bottles of soda... you take one down, pass it around... ugh... where did I even learn that song...? Huh...?"

Cynder and Slam Bam dashed past the cell, but Jet-Vac skidded to a halt in front of it. He peered past the bars. "Stealth Elf?" Cynder and Slam backtracked to where he was.

"Oh my god!" Slam exclaimed.

"Slam Bam, open the door!" Cynder instructed.

Slam Bam pulled the door off of the hinges and nervously leaned it against the wall as Cynder and Jet rushed into the cell. "Cynder and Jet-Vac...?" Stealth questioned.

"What happened?!" Jet asked. Slam cautiously walked into the cell.

Stealth glanced at her injured arm, which Cynder examined. "Your arm again..." Stealth nodded. "Who did this?"

"Pop Fizz..." Stealth replied.

"You've _got_ to be kidding!" Slam cried.

Stealth shook her head. "He... he had a potion that taught him ninjitsu... and turned his fur green..."

Cynder was adjusting the bandages on the elf's arm. "I don't think there's much we can do about this right now. Sorry Stealth Elf."

"It's fine..."

"This isn't good..." Jet said. "What do we do now?"

Stealth coughed and the attention turned back to her. "Pop Fizz monologged his plan to me... if you wanna hear it..."

The others exchanged glances and nodded. "Tell us," Slam demanded.

"Please," Jet added, casting a glare at the yeti.

Stealth sighed. "He's... developed a potion that... that will transform anyone into... a beast form... like his own..." She coughed again. "...and brainwash them..."

There was gasping. "What?" Cynder growled.

Stealth paused. "I need a nap..."

"Keep going! Keep going!" Slam encouraged.

"He took Camo and the others... to a place called the 'testing chamber'... that's why he's capturing Skylanders... he wants to make... an army..."

"This is very not good!" Jet cried.

"What a creep..." Cynder grumbled.

"Why are you down here?" Slam asked.

Stealth closed her eyes for a moment. "If I don't take off the mask..." she replied. "he can't make me drink the potion... I'm of no use to him, so he put me down here..."

There was silence for a moment, then Jet-Vac spoke up. "We have to stop him," he declared. "This isn't just a rescue mission anymore."

"Yeah it is," Slam protested. "Is a mission to rescue all of Skylands!"

"...again," Cynder sighed. "We have to get a move on. There's no time to waste."

"Right!" the boys chorused, and the three dashed away without a second thought.

"Thanks for the information, Stealth!" Slam called.

"H-Hey!" Stealth exclaimed. "Could you guys... get me out of here...?" Too late. They were already gone. She groaned. "Thirty-four bottles of soda on the wall..."

* * *

Jet-Vac poked his head around a corner and looked around. "So, what's the plan?" Slam asked.

"I'm still thinking..." Cynder replied.

"Well, we need something," Jet said.

Slam stood up and cracked his knuckled. "Alright, I'm goin' in."

"You're what?!" Jet exclaimed.

 _"You_ have a plan?" Cynder questioned.

Slam shrugged. "Eh, not really a plan, but better than sitting around doing nothing." He leaped around the corner and exclaimed, **"Yo, Pop Fizz! We're down here!"** Jet shrieked and Cynder facepalmed.

There was silence after that, and the three stood in waiting. "Huh..." Slam muttered. "Nothing..."

Then an alarm went off.

"Damn it, Slam Bam..." Cynder growled.

"What? I thought we _wanted_ to get his attention!"

"Ah- _ **HA!**_ I was wondering when you fools would show up!"

The trio looked up to see Pop Fizz dashing up to a ledge. "Here comes the parade..." Slam snickered.

"It's about time you showed your ugly face..." Cynder growled.

"Um, aren't you the one who was complaining about Slam insulting him?" Jet pointed out. Cynder glared at him and he yelped.

"I figured you would come and stop me..." Fizz said with a dark tone. _"That's_ why I'm prepared." He snickered. "I suppose you want to hear my plan, eh?"

"We already know yer stupid plan," Slam called.

"Yes!" Jet exclaimed. "Stealth Elf told us everything!"

Fizz grumbled. "Should've evilized her..."

"We're not letting you get away with this," Cynder declared.

Fizz chuckled. "Oh, but there's nothing you can do to stop me!" he laughed. "I've already perfected my Ultimate Soda of Ultimate Evil **DOOM!** " The others gave him a weird look. "...and I've got a surprise for you." The gremlin pulled out a light blue potion and gave them a toothy grin as he shook it. He gulped it down and sighed. "That one tastes a lot better! Let's just hope it works..."

"Uh, how about we don't?" Jet-Vac called.

Pop Fizz growled and fur began to change a lighter shade of blue. "There's a reason I resigned." He clenched his teeth as a chunk of flesh bulged just below his right arm. The Skylanders cringed as it formed into a third arm.

 **"Gaaaah!"** Slam Bam exclaimed. "That's all kinds of screwed up!"

Fizz cackled wickedly as a fourth arm grew out below his left. "Time to teach you twerps a lesson! **Open the cages!** "

Powerful light covered the room, revealing it to be some sort of arena. Then nothing happened. Quiet. The Skylanders looked to be extremely confused. Pop Fizz roared. **"Glumshanks! Open the damn cages!"**

There was a loud _**CRANK**_ and the three gates in the arena raised up. A low growl filled the area and Jet hid behind Cynder, who rolled her eyes. "This doesn't look good..." Slam mumbled.

Several pairs of glowing eyes flashed in the shadows. Pop Fizz snickered. "Maybe for you..." Then the figures in the shadows began to slowly step out into the light.

Trigger Happy, Gill Grunt, Camo, Zoo Lou, Bumble Blast, and several other Skylanders, changed into a form like Fizz's Beast Form.

"Well, damn," Slam growled.

Jet's jaw dropped and he started stuttering nervously. "I-I-I don't even k-know w-what is this?!"

Cynder smacked him. "Snap out of it!" she exclaimed, tugging him forward. "You and I can take care of this. Let's go."

Fizz leaped down from the ledge he had been standing on. "Looks like it's you and me, Slam Bam!"

Slam snarled. "Yeah. Let's get this over with."

Fizz grinned, then charged forward at him. "You're toast!"

* * *

|| This story is so stupid. I can't believe I wrote this.

...

Actually, yes, I can. ||


	11. Pop Fizz of DOOM: 5

|| And... here we have chapter 5 of Pop Fizz... of DOOM! AKA "the part where Slam and Fizz beat the crap out of each other and I was very tired of writing this story when I finished it". ||

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

"You're toast!" Pop Fizz exclaimed as he dove at Slam Bam and came down on him _hard._ The blue potion he drank had greatly increased his physical strength, evening him out with the great yeti.

Slam Bam growled and snatched the gremlin's foot, throwing him to the ground. "C'mon, Pop Fizz," he called. "Give it a rest!"

Fizz stood up and shook himself off. "Never!" he exclaimed, diving at Slam again. "Y'know, all I wanted was to be _appreciated_ by my _teammates!"_

Slam moved out of the way and Fizz barreled past him. The yeti crossed his eyes in an attempt to think, then he facepalmed. "Oh, is _that_ what this is about? Dude, I was gonna apologize for that when we got back!"

Fizz laughed. "Ha! Yeah right!" he said. "Since when do _you_ apologize for anything?" He rushed forward and delivered an uppercut to Slam's jaw. "Honestly I can't believe I was ever friends with you."

Slam sighed, rubbing his possibly injured jawbone. "Aw, c'mon buddy, don't say that!"

"I'll say whatever I want to say!"

Meanwhile, Cynder and Jet-Vac were dealing with the beast Skylanders. Cynder was squaring off with Trigger Happy. "I seriously can't believe I'm do this," the dragoness sighed. Trigg snarled at her, the saliva flowing out of his mouth like a waterfall. "Gross." She blasted him with shadowy electricity, and his fur was all spiky when she was done. "Well would you look at that."

Jet had to deal with both Bumble Blast and Zoo Lou at once. He fired air blasts at them, then stormed upwards when they lunged at him, causing them to crash into each other. "I'm not doing so well over he, Cynd!" he called.

"Kinda busy over here!" Trigg was gnawing on Cynder's tail. She wagged it and he went flying. "Sorry, Trigger Happy..." She shadow dashed beneath him and slammed him in the gut when she came up. He landed on his face, then stood up and roared. He leaped over and grabbed Cynder, then threw her into the wall. She stood up and rubbed her head, grumbling. "Now it's personal."

Jet, Bumble and Lou watched in slight confusion, then the Life monsters glared at Jet in a hungry fashion an he smiled nervously.

They were brawling again two seconds later.

* * *

Sunburn looked out over Woodburrow from the highest point of the mushroom stairway. He was counting the Skylanders below, letting out a long sigh when he was done.

"Sunburn?" The phoenix turned to see Whirlwind bounding up the stairs. "I've collected the information you sent for," she told him.

"Good," Sunburn replied.

Whirlwind frowned. "It's not too good..." she said sadly. "Spyro, Trigg and Gill still haven't returned and the search party you sent earlier hasn't come back either. Cynder, Slam Bam and Jet-Vac were escorted to a mission by Sharpfin earlier. Fryno, Warnado and Dino-Rang left a few hours ago. None of them have come back."

Sunburn shook his head. "This isn't good at all, Whirl." He stood up and flew off of the terrace, Whirlwind following close behind. They landed on the rooftop of a house. "Spyro left me in charge, and the team is falling apart..."

Whirl clenched her teeth. "It's not your fault," she assured him. She blinked, then sweatdropped. "Oh, and... Pop Fizz and Stealth Elf are missing too."

Sunburn's jaw dropped and he whipped around. "Stealth Elf?" he asked. Whirlwind nodded dolefully. Sunburn scowled, then leaped off the roof. "Alright, I'm taking this into my own hands."

"What?" Whirl questioned, hopping down next to him.

"I'm not gonna let the Skylanders get destroyed under my watch," Sunburn replied. "I'm going to Kastle Kaos to figure out what's going on."

"W-Well, I'm going with you!" Whirlwind exclaimed. You could practically see the question mark above Sunburn's head. "It's obviously not safe! You can't go alone."

"You heard what you just said, right?" Sunburn asked. "It's dangerous! I won't let you come."

Whirl giggled. "Aww, how cute! You think you can stop me." Sunburn smiled slightly and rolled his eyes. "Oh, but, who will be in charge while you're gone?"

Sunburn blinked. "Damn. Almost forgot about that..."

"I think you did forget about that."

Sunburn glanced around the village in search of a trustworthy Core. "Ah ha! Drobot!" he called. The genius dragon turned at the sound of his name.

"Hm? Oh, Sunburn," Drobot replied in his edited robotic voice. "What would you like, temporarily-in-charge-one?"

"For you to be temporarily-in-charge," Sunburn replied.

Drobot tilted his head. "What? Why?"

"Because Whirlwind and I are heading out," Sunburn explained. "We're going to investigate the missing Skylanders."

"It is brave of you to take such actions," Drobot acknowledged. "Very well."

"Thanks!" Sunburn said with a smile. **"Yo, everybody!"** Everybody's attention turned to him. **"Drobot's in charge! I'll be back later!"** Before anybody could protest, he and Whirlwind dashed out the Woodburrow gate.

* * *

"Charged up!" Cynder blasted Trigger Happy with her spectral lightning again. He fell onto his back and grumbled. "This is getting tedious," Cynder growled. She leaped onto Trigg's stomach and smacked him in the face with her tail. "Trigger Happy, snap the hell out of it before _I_ snap your neck!" Trigg responded by kicking her off of him, hopping back onto his feet in the process. She landed on her feet and shook herself off. "Alright, no more Miss Nice Dragon." She flapped her wings and soared above him, bringing down a powerful rain of lightning. Trigg yelped in the static shock. He looked charred when the lightning died down, then he fell over again. "Uh... Trigg?" Cynder flew over to him only to find that the gunslinger had changed back to normal.

"P _u_ **t** _ **m**_ **e b** _a_ c _ **k i**_ n c _oa_ **c** _ **h,**_ I _c_ **a** n st _i_ **l** l _p_ **l** _ **a**_ y..."

Cynder sweatdropped. "Well that happened..."

Trigg sat up and rubbed his head. "Hoo, whozie-whatsits...?" Cynder helped him to his feet. "What da fudge happened...?"

"Pop Fizz is working for Kaos," Cynder explained. "He turned you and several others into slaves."

Trigg looked confused. "Pop Fizz did what now?" He shook himself off. "Sounds a little weird... but I've never heard you lie before, so I guess it's true!"

Cynder nodded. "Okay, what can you do..." She thought about it, then facepalmed. "Ooh, I can't believe we forgot about that..."

Trigger tilted his head. "Forgot about what?"

"Listen, Trigger Happy," Cynder instructed. "If you want to help- In the prison downstairs, there's a cell with the door torn off. Stealth Elf is in there. Get her out, and the two of you meet up with Sharpfin outside; he'll know what to do."

 **"Stealth is in trouble?!"** Trigg exclaimed. He stood up straight and saluted. "I'm on it!" He dashed out an opening in the arena past a monstrous Gill Grunt, who then glared at Cynder and growled deeply.

Cynder sighed. "Oh, joy." She turned around. "Jet-Vac!" she called. Jet looked up from being pinned by Zoo Lou. "If you hit them hard enough, they change back to normal!"

"Really?" Jet questioned. He kicked Lou off of him and whipped out his blaster. He flipped a switch and pressed a few buttons, then held down the trigger. "Tally ho!" Releasing the trigger unleashed a powerful tornado on Zoo Lou, engulfing the bear. When the cyclone died down, Lou was revealed to be back to his old self... passed out on the floor. "Aye! She was right!" He chuckled. "This just got a trillion times easier, and- **BEES!** " He then realized he was being swarmed by wasps. "Ow, ow, ow, **Bumble Blast!"** He shot upwards with his pack, then hit his buster until it shot out another twister.

"You've got it!" Cynder exclaimed. She kicked Gill Grunt in the groin when he attempted to attack her.

"Ugh..." Bumble Blast groaned, slowly standing up and rubbing his head. "What's going on?"

"Where are we?" Zoo Lou asked after shaking himself.

"I'll explain later," Jet replied, pulling the two closer. "But right now, we have more important things to worry about." Lou yelped when they discovered that Camo, Fryno and Warnado had surrounded them.

* * *

Trigger Happy was trotting down the hall in the jail room downstairs.

"Live your life like a KameHame-Ha! Give your all, don't ever give up!" he sang cheerfully for some reason. "When we're together I know we can win. I have you to believe in!" He skidded to a halt and turned to you (yes, you) with a shrug. "Y'know pal, my life would be a whole lot easier if I were a Saiyan." He peered down the hall and saw a jail door leaned against the wall "Ah! That's it!" He rushed into the cell. **"Stealth Elf!"**

As he skidded onto his knees and examined the chains, Stealth slowly opened her eyes. "Hm...? Wha... Trigger Happy...?"

"Cynder told me you were down here!" Trigg said. "Don't worry, I'm gonna get you outta here. What even happened, anyway?"

Stealth sighed. "Pop Fizz beat me down..." she replied. "I don't even understand how... how he did it..."

Trigg was gnawing on the chains. "Well he is kinda wacko now," he replied through the iron. He grumbled and spat on the ground. He then stood up and pulled out one of his guns. "Don't move." Stealth flinched when he shot through the lock on the chain restricting her right arm.

"Oh..." She flexed her hand. "Kinda hurts..."

"What part of 'don't move' don't you get?!" Trigger shot the lock on her left ankle, then the right. "Hey, why isn't there...? God, Stealth, stop breaking yer arm!"

Stealth growled. "Yeah, like it's my fault."

Trigg helped her up and dragged her out of the cell. "Cynder said Sharpfin is waiting outside. He'll fix yer arm... or something."

Stealth blinked. "Ugh... thanks, Trigg..."

"You never call me 'Trigg!'"

* * *

Pop Fizz _slammed_ Slam Bam into the wall and leaped on after him. He started beating the yeti with little to no remorse, not noticing that he was pretty much only hitting armor. "You big ham! You think you're so great, huh?! Well, I'll show you who's great! **I am!** "

"Urk!" Slam choked. He grabbed Fizz and flung him away. "Dude, do you even here how freaking **crazy** you sound?!"

 **"RAAH!"** Fizz knocked Slam off his feet and leaped on his back. "I'm tired of living in the shadow of all the _'greater'_ Skylanders! You twerps probably think I'm better off here than I ever was on the team!"

Slam rolled over and jumped onto his feet, and Pop Fizz landed a few meters away. "C'mon buddy, that's not true and you know it!"

"Yeah right!" Fizz roundhouse kicked him. "You're arrogant! And popular! And being popular makes you arrogant! And... and..." He roared and delivered a powerful ice punch to Slam Bam's _face._ **"Wakka-** _ **POW!"**_

Slam fell to the ground and shook his head. His nose was bleeding. "Dude..." He stood up and pounded the ground in rage, causing Fizz to fall over. "I'm not popular! You're more freaking popular than I'll ever be!"

"You're just trying to stop me from kicking your ass!"

"What the hell?! No I'm not! And since when do you use words like that?!"

Fizz dashed over and snagged Slam's leg, using his new super strength to wave him in the air. "You and Spyro and Trigger Happy and Stealth Elf don't even have to _try_ to be popular! The missions just come to you! Everybody looks up you jerks!" He tossed Slam down with a loud _**CRASH!**_ "Meanwhile, I spend my time working hard! I create all kinds of experimental potions, but nobody even gives them a chance! I'm considered the worst in Trap Shadow's class, even though I work the hardest! Every time I volunteer for a mission, I get shot down!"

"Pop Fizz-"

 **"SHUT IT!"** Fizz shouted. "That's why I'm here! I'm here to prove that I'm just as great- maybe even _greater -_ than any magic dragon, goldslinger, frickin'... _ninja..._ or four-armed _jock!_ I'm not going to live in your shadows anymore!"

Slam grunted and charged at the gremlin, sending his across the room. "Alright, now it's time for _you_ to listen to _me,"_ he growled. "You _are_ popular! You have tons of friends! There's not a Skylander who doesn't want to be friends with you! Except maybe Hex. And Stealth Elf probably couldn't care less- but that's beside the point! Me? You and Jet-Vac are my only real pals, maybe Terrafin and Eruptor. Everybody else steers clear of me because they're afraid I'll insult them!"

Fizz snorted. "Like you insulted me?"

Slam clenched his teeth and shrugged. "Well... _yes,_ but... oh c'mon, you can't take it personally! I do it to everybody, it's just my nature. And just because friends fight doesn't mean they're not friends anymore! Real friends forgive each other, they don't go coo-coo and turn to their worst enemy!"

Pop Fizz leaped onto his chest, holding onto his armor and held up a fist. "Who says we're friends?!" he exclaimed.

"I do!" Slam persisted. "C'mon little buddy, I'm sorry! I know you're upset, but..." He pointed backwards to the fighting going on behind them. "Turning to Kaos... Enslaving your friends... _This_ isn't the solution!"

Fizz stared at the chaos he had caused and his face loosened up a little. He hopped off of Slam and pressed two fingers against his forehead. As the effects of his potion started to wear off and he fell to the ground. "I... I didn't do this..." He looked up at Slam Bam with his pathetic puppy dog face. "...did I?"

Slam shook his head. "It's all you, little buddy," he replied.

Fizz stood up and looked down at his hands. "What..." Tears began to well up in his eyes. "What have I done?" He stormed out into the battle field, Slam following, but it turned out that Cynder and Jet were wrapping things up. "G-Guys!"

"Pop Fizz!" Cynder growled.

Fryno, who was back to his old angry self thanks to Jet, roared and stomped on the ground. "That guy makes me _**burnin'**_ mad!"

"Hold up!" Slam stood between them and Fizz. "I think our little buddy's seen the error of his ways."

"Since when do you know what that means?" Jet questioned.

Camo, who also was normal again, stalked over to the former traitor with a low growl. "What did you do with Stealth Elf?"

Fizz's ears folded back. "I... I locked her up downstairs..."

"...and I just sent Trigger Happy to unlock her," Cynder finished. "She's going to be fine, Camo." Camo nodded and retreated back to the others.

"There sure are a lot of us here," Warnado pointed out.

"Maybe it wasn't so smart of us to leave after Spyro and the others went missing," Dino-Rang recognized.

"Hey, where is Spyro?" Gill Grunt questioned.

Cynder counted the Skylanders that were currently gathered, then glared at Pop Fizz. "Where is he?"

Fizz clenched his teeth. "Well... I studied him to create my purple elixir..." He pulled off his backpack and pulled out a violet potion. "When I was done with him, I turned him over to Kaos."

"You did _**WHAT?!"**_

Fizz whimpered. "I-I-I'm sorry! And I was wrong for everything I did!" He stared at the ground in shame. "There must be some way to fix this..."

"We _can_ fix this!" Jet assured him. "There's enough of us here to take on Kaos and rescue Spyro!"

"Right!" Slam said. "Although having Trigg and elf girl here would be pretty helpful..."

"Stealth Elf is _injured,_ Slam Bam," Cynder reminded him. "Besides, we don't need their help right now."

"You guys shouldn't help me." Everybody turned to Pop Fizz, who had a fire in his eyes that blazed a combined shame, hope, and fury. "I'm the one who screwed up. I'm the one who needs to fix it. On my own."

Slam knelt over and placed a hand on Fizz's shoulder. "Haven't you learned anything?" he laughed. "You're not alone."

"You were being manipulated," Cynder said. "I can relate to that."

"And I'm not going to let my best friend confront Kaos on his own," Jet added.

"Hey, I thought I was your best friend!" Slam exclaimed. Jet shrugged.

Fizz blushed. "Thanks, guys..." He looked over at the other seven. "But... you guys probably hate me... I made quite possibly the worst mistake a Skylander has ever made."

Dino-Rang shook his head. "People make mistakes, Pop Fizz."

"Even if this was a really freaking bad one..." Zoo Lou muttered.

"We forgive you," Bumble blast assured.

 _"I_ don't..." Fryno growled. Warnado pushed him (it was really more of a punch, really).

"I'll help you!" Bumble Blast said.

"So will I!" Gill Grunt added.

Slam chuckled. "See?" he said. "Friends forgive each other."

Fizz nodded. "And I couldn't be more grateful. Together, there's enough of us take him on. He's way outnumbered!" He pointed in the direction of Kaos' Chamber. "Let's finish this... _together!"_

* * *

Sunburn and Whirlwind approached Kastle Kaos, cautiously landing on the island below. "Okay, what's the plan?" Whirl asked.

"We sneak in," Sunburn replied. "and try to find them."

"Isn't that kinda risky?" Whirl questioned. "I mean, what if we get caught? We don't even know if it's Kaos behind this."

Before Sunburn could anxiously respond, somebody called. **"Hey! It's Sunburn and Whirlie!"**

The dragon hybrids glanced up to see Sharpfin's ship, and Trigger Happy waving at them. "Trigger Happy?!" Sunburn exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!" Whirl cheerfully cried.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Trigg called.

"What's going on?" Sunburn asked.

Trigg shrugged. "Eh, something about Pop Fizz goin' wackadoodle," he replied. "But don't worry! Cynder, Slam Bam and Jet-Vac are taking care of everything."

"Where's Stealth Elf?" Whirlwind inquired.

"Hm?" Trigg tilted his head, then he realized. "Ah! Elf girl is sleeping below deck. She's tired... or something."

Sunburn and Whirl exchanged glances and gave sighs of relief. "She's safe..." Whirlwind said.

"But the others aren't," Sunburn said. " **Trigg!** We're going inside to help!"

"We'll be here when you come out!" Trigg replied, and he waved goodbye as the two flew up around the building.

* * *

Kaos sat happily (and evilly) in his throne, shaking a beaker with a bluish concoction and listening to the sound of sloshing. "Ah, Glumshanks," he cackled to his butler, who was sweeping the floors. "Thanks to that blue furball, I'll soon be able to follow through with my master plan!"

"The last time you said that you ended up with my legs," Glumshanks grumbled.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing!"

Kaos stood up and approached the wall, and a control panel rose up. It bared eight capsules, six of which were filled; a charred bone, a sunfruit, a starfish, a jar of dirt, a large gold coin (with Trigger Happy on one side and the initials "TH" on the other), and a firecracker. Kaos pressed a button on the panel and the empty vessel to the far left opened up and the Dark Portal Master set the bottle inside. When he pulled out his hand, the capsule closed up and the panel returned into the ground.

"Seven out of eight," Glumshanks acknowledged.

"One element left..." Kaos mumbled. "...and once I have it, as long as I have that dragon, I can complete this project and conquer Skylands!"

"...or it will blow up in your face..."

 _"What_ was that?!"

"Nothing!"

Kaos smirked and sat back down in his throne. However, he was interrupted by Pop Fizz and his parade of Skylanders. "Hold it right there, Kaos!" Fizz exclaimed. Kaos screeched and Glumshanks held up his broom defensively.

"What are you doing here?!" Kaos cried. "What are _they_ doing here?!"

"I've decided to resign," Pop Fizz declared. "And me and my friends want Spyro back."

"Told you this would happen," Glumshanks said.

"Quiet, fool," Kaos growled. "Why in the name of Malefore would I turn over my most hated enemy to a traitor like you?"

Fizz swallowed. "I'm not a traitor..." he said, glancing back at Slam, Jet and Cynder. "Not anymore."

Kaos mouthed the words mockingly. "Yeah, whatever." He snapped his fingers. **"Guards!"** Suddenly, several Drows appeared from the shadows and grabbed hold of the several Skylanders, and it took a Goliath to hold down Slam Bam. "You really think I didn't anticipate your betrayal?" Fizz clenched his teeth. "You gave him to me. No taksies-backsies!"

` "Spyro is a _person,_ not _property_ you slime," Cynder hissed.

"Yeah, ya big jerk!" Slam added.

Kaos shrugged. "Too bad! Nothing you can do about. Thanks for bringing this many of them here to be destroyed, furball." Fizz snarled.

 **"Ah, give it a rest baldy!"**

"Eh?"

Sunburn and Whirlwind crashed through the windows and blasted their powerful attacks at the Drow, sending them running for the hills. "Ooh! Hot!" Sunburn's fire power had set Fizz's arm on fire. He patted it down and then gave a thumbs up. "Thanks for the rescue!"

"Any time!" Sunburn replied with a salute. "Good to see you're back on the bright side!"

Fizz's ears drooped. "Oh, you knew about that?"

"It's probably common knowledge by now," Slam said. Fizz sighed.

"No more funny business, Kaos," Jet said, aiming his cannon at him. "Hand over Spyro _now."_

 _"_ No need!" The team turned around to see Fryno, Dino-Rang, and _Spyro!_ "The guys figured out where I was."

"Lame compartment, lame security," Fryno added, cracking his knuckles.

 **"SPYRO!"** everybody cried.

"Thank goodness!" Jet sighed.

"Happy ending!" Slam laughed.

Cynder swooned.

"S-Spyro..." Pop Fizz stuttered. "I-I'm so sorry..."

Spyro ruffled the fur on Fizz's head. "Don't sweat it!" he chuckled. "Even I was on the dark side once."

"You were?"

"That was before you were recruited." Spyro bounded over and tackled Kaos. "Hey, leave us alone next time," he growled.

"I will I will!" Kaos choked. "I promise! Now get off my chest, fool!"

Spyro shrugged and hopped over to the others. "C'mon, the gang at Woodburrow is waiting!"

"There's ship waiting for us outside!" Sunburn added.

 **"HOORAY!"**

Pop Fizz smiled as the others showed themselves to the exit. He shot a "loser" symbol at Kaos before cheerfully taking off after them, pleased that his horrible actions had been forgiven.

* * *

"Gack!"

"Would you hold still?!"

Cynder, Slam, Trigg and Stealth watched in amusement as Jet attempted to wipe the make-up off of Fizz's face with a moist towel. "Quit it!" Fizz exclaimed.

"Quit squirming!" Jet retorted. "There!"

He pushed the alchemist away and he shook the water off his face. "How do I look?"

"You tell us!" Slam leaned over so that his breastplate could act as a mirror.

"It's all off..." Fizz gave a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry for everything..."

"Forgive and forget!" Trigg said.

"I've through worse..." Stealth muttered.

"How many times are you gonna apologize?" Slam groaned.

"Hey Stealth!" They turned to see Whirlwind wearing a stethoscope. "I'll look at your arm now, if ya want."

Stealth raised an eyebrow. "Why do you need a stethoscope to examine my arm?" she asked.

"Don't question me," Whirl replied. "Now c'mon!"

Stealth sighed. "Alright, I'm coming!"

"I'm coming too!" Trigg laughed.

Fizz approached the edge of the ship and looked out over the horizon. Slam, Cynder and Jet joined him. "All's well that ends well, eh?" Jet said.

"I was certainly an experience..." Cynder moaned.

"But it turned out okay!" Slam added. "Now don't pull another stunt like that again, okay little buddy?"

Fizz gave the yeti a sly look. "Only if you start treating me better." The four laughed together, even Cynder, who was rumored not to have laughed in ten years. "I'm glad it's all over..."

"We all are!" Jet assured him.

"And it'll never happen again, right?" Cynder cast a glance to Fizz.

He shook his head. "No ma'am. Never again." He climbed up onto the edge of the ship and balanced carefully on his feet.

"Don't fall!" Slam chuckled.

"Ah, you guys will catch me if I do!" he said. "That's what friends are for!"

"He's not wrong," Jet said. Cynder rolled her eyes.

Fizz pointed straight ahead with a grin across his face. "Woodburrow, ho!"

* * *

Kaos paced in his throne room with a serious look on his face. "Sir..." Glumshanks said. "What are you going to do now? I mean, without Spyro, you can't-"

"Quiet, Glumshanks!" Kaos cut him off. "I may have lost the dragon..." He rubbed his chin, then nodded. "...but I can still pull this off. I just need the last element."

"But, uh, how are you going to do that?"

"Oh, trust me Glumshanks cackled," Kaos cackled, rubbing his hands together. _"I will."_

* * *

|| And, we leave off on a cliffhanger leading up to the story arc that would carry through the following two installments.

All in all, while this one isn't anywhere _near_ the sheer levels of _suck_ that _Swappable Stoppable_ accomplished, I still don't think this story is really anything special. Like I said, the pacing in this series is absolute garbage, and it's a _lot_ more noticeable here than it ever was in SS. I feel the need to establish that this entire story takes place over the course of _one day._ What, does Pop Fizz have mood swings or something! "I'm a good guy! Wait, nevermind, I'm gonna go join the darkness. Meh, nevermind, I'm over it."

Basically what I'm saying is that this story is trash.

Indeed, I am my own worst critic.

Next time: _Blank Out!_ ||


	12. Pop Fizz of DOOM: Credits

|| I'm putting an author's note here because the chapter jump screws up centered text on the first line. ||

* * *

 **THIS HAS BEEN SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: POP FIZZ... OF DOOM! STARRING:**

 **AN IDIOT WIMP**

 **AN IDIOT JOCK**

 **AN IDIOT BIRD**

 **AN IDIOT TSUNDERE**

 **AN IDIOT NINJA (AS IT SHOULD BE)**

 **A NONEXISTENT SHIV**

 **THE THREE STOOGES**

 **PULL THE LEVER, KRONK**

 **AND A LOT MORE IDIOTS**

* * *

 **Here's what people have been saying about** _ **Skylanders Short Stories: Pop Fizz... of DOOM!...  
**_

 _"Yeah. Still, I think the 'short' refers to the fact that they aren't as long as some, like Darkest Hour or the Dragon Chronicles. Still, this seems interesting. | Ooh, dramatic. I think the make-up would look better in red for Pop Fizz, not black. And yeah, this is going well, keep going? | Oh, that is hilarious. "Take off the mask!" It reminds me of that scene from Phineas and Ferb Across the Second Dimension. Anyway, what testing room? And where are Spyro, Gill Grunt and Trigger Happy? | Huh, okay then. Ooh, maybe Pop Fizz should drink multiple potions at once to gain the powers of multiple Skylanders? And seriously. Stealth Elf could have helped fight. Not smart, guys. | Huh. Good ending, nice and ominous, and wasn't that next time what happened last time? You don't want to get repetitive, trust me. Anyway, good luck!"_ -Technow

 _"Pop Fizz! It wasn't worth it!"_ -Guest

 _"I can't wait for next chapter ! :D | Oh Man! This is getting good! Can't wait for Cynder, Jet, and Slam to confront Pop Fizz! (Especially Slam Bam, stuff is gonna hit the fan between him and Fizz! )"_ \- Sheckee

 _"Uh... Cynder? I have a question about this book you gave me, um... I mean, it's not that I don't trust your judgement or anything, but... why do you want me to read about borderline personality disorder?"_ -Pop Fizz

 _"You know both of your short stories are really cool! And I'm glad you're using Slam Bam as a main character. Almost every Skylander fanfic on here mains Spyro and Cynder. Eh, but either way, can't wait for the next chapter and your next short story!"_ -RaptorFeet21

 _"Wow just wow u go em I like no I love the dragonballz/gt reference great storu"_ -Limit-Breaker13

 _"Doom! Truly, if ever there was a Skylanders Short Story to doom, this is the doomiest! And my plan was the doomiest of all dooms to ever doom! I would have gotten doomed with doom if it weren't for you doomed doomlanders!"_ -Kaos

" _1# short story for me |_ _the song all most made me cry"_ -awsome reader

 _"_ _It's sort of sad. But the story's great!"_ -Lydia

 _"It's a little sad to me and Pop Fizz is my favorite, I really wanted to hug him. But great story I loved it. Oh and the that's my favorite song in the world!"_ -Skywing

 _"_ _Loved it. My sister plays that song all the time. It's my favorite."_ -Pop Fizz2004

"Such an awesome story. I love Pop Fizz so much, and I just wanna hug him so much! Great story! :)" -Ravonic the UnderWorlder

* * *

 **Original Credits Song:** _"Monster"_ by Skillet

 **Next time on Gremlin Ball Z:** A hit to the head can cause more than just physical damage...

* * *

|| I can't believe how awful that preview is. Oh my god.

Ah, regular reviewers. I always did look forward to seeing what Technow had to say after each chapter, and what RaptorFeet21 thought of each entry in the series. The only story I have with regular reviewers now is _Device of Life,_ and that's because I went and fished for them on the Writer's Anonymous forums. How the times do change...

Heh, I did like that "take off the mask" joke. ||


	13. Blank Out: 1

|| And here's the third installment into the discontinued Skylanders Short Stories series, titled _"Blank Out!"_ Primary example of just how bad I am at titles right here. Hold onto your hats folks, because we're not quite out of the frying pan yet. This story, just like its two predecessors, is still complete and utter garbage. I will say that it's a lot better than _Swappable Stoppable_ and _Pop Fizz... of DOOM!,_ though. However, I'll let you form your own opinions. But this story was the least popular, which doesn't surprise me at all. ||

* * *

 **SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: BLANK OUT!**

 _July 2014 - August 2014_

Jet-Vac wanting to be a leader, Trigger Happy wanting to be insane, and Stealth Elf wanting to prove herself. Combine with a powerful explosion, a hit to the head, and Kaos, and you've got a recipe for disaster! One-sided, circumstantial Trigger Happy x Stealth Elf. Rated T for mild language. Five-shot.

 **Chapter One**

"C'mon! C'mon! Hurry it up!"

Trigger Happy was rushing ahead of everybody else in the patrol. He was probably chasing a butterfly and discovered how far behind the others were. "We're coming, Trigg!" Sunburn called.

"Maybe you could move a little _slower...?"_ Whirlwind sighed.

The patrol was Trigg, Sunburn, Whirlwind, Spyro, Jet-Vac, Chop Chop and Stealth Elf (who's left arm was in a cast). _Why_ they needed so many for a border patrol is a mystery, but it's best not to question Spyro's actions as leader.

Chop Chop groaned. "Will someone _please_ remind me why we're still here?"

"Aw, quit whining, metalhead," Stealth growled. "Your scratchy voice is hurting my ears."

Chop Chop snorted. "Hmph. Spoken like a Drow..."

"Ex _cuse_ me?!" Chop Chop blinked and turned to see Whirlwind, practically on fire. "Stealth Elf is _not_ a Drow."

"Yeah, Chop Chop," Spyro scolded. "How many times do we have to tell you? Now quit fighting!"

Chop Chop fumed. "She's a double agent!" he exclaimed. "She works for Kaos! One day you're all gonna regret not listening to me!"

Stealth roundhouse kicked him in the face. "Spoken like a _metalhead."_

Chop Chop got back up and roared. "See?! If she were really a Skylander she wouldn't do things like that!"

"Would you quit yapping?!" Stealth grumbled.

 **"Drow!"**

 **"Metalhead!"**

 **"Will you two shut up?!"** Jet-Vac pushed them away from each other. "I've never seen two Skylanders go at each other like you do!" He sighed. "You guys were both part of the original thirty-two! I thought you were supposed to set a good example!"

Stealth walked away. "I was the _last_ of the original 32."

Jet frowned and Chop Chop folded his arms. "If it were up to me," the arkeyan said. "she wouldn't be a Skylander at all."

"C'mon, guys!" Jet cried as Chop Chop joined up with the rest of the patrol. "Aren't we all supposed to be friends...?"

"Don't worry about it, Jet," Whirlwind said. "They just... didn't meet on good terms."

Jet nodded. "Alright..."

"Come on, guys! Let's go!" Trigg called.

"We're coming, Trigg!" Whirl replied, and the two Air Elements dashed ahead.

Spyro sighed and walked over to Stealth Elf. "Maybe it would be best if you just ignored him, Stealth..." he suggested.

Stealth shook her head. "It's not that simple..."

Spyro clenched his teeth. "Alright, I guess... Hey, if you don't mind me asking, why were you all over Trap Shadow, anyway?"

Stealth stared at the ground. "He... he reminds me of my master."

"Oh," Spyro said. "Sorry I asked..."

"It's been two years, Spyro," Stealth replied. "It's fine..."

"Spyro, I found a log!" Trigger exclaimed.

"Really?! Let me see!" Spyro didn't really care, he just wanted to escape the awkward moment.

With a sigh, Stealth continued walking. "Can't we go back yet?"

"Nope," Whirlwind said cheerfully. Stealth yelped because she hadn't known she was there. "I think it's nice to get out every once in a while."

"Stealth gets out too much, if you get ask me." Sunburn had decided to join them. "Tessa is nice enough to give all of us houses and she sleeps in a tree."

"Give her a break, Sunburn!" Whirl exclaimed. "You know she came from Treetop Terrace."

Stealth raised her pointer finger. "Ah, technically it was _below_ Treetop Terrace."

"Whatever." Whirlwind gave a shrug.

Sunburn sighed. "Stealth, you probably shouldn't have come," he said. "You should be resting your arm."

"What?" Stealth questioned.

Whirlwind clenched her teeth. "He's not wrong, Stealth," she said.

Stealth Elf grumbled. "Why?! My arm is fine."

"Your arm is _broken,"_ Sunburn corrected.

Stealth was going to get mad, but she took a deep breath and calmed herself. "You know what? I give up. There is no reasoning with you two."

Whirl whimpered as the elf wandered away. "She's the unreasonable one..."

"Don't worry about it," Sunburn said. "She'll come around."

Whirl nodded. "I just don't want her getting hurt any worse than she already has..."

Sunburn chuckled. "Oh c'mon, Whirl, it's Stealth Elf! She can take out seven Goliath Drows in one foul swoop! Camo tells stories about her wiping out armies of Trolls! And she's the guardian of Treetop Terrace."

 _"Below_ Treetop Terrace," Whirl giggled.

Sunburn rolled his eyes. "Whatever!"

"Guys, come 'ere!" Spyro called. Sunburn, Whirlwind and the others joined Spyro and Trigg.

"What is it?" Jet asked.

"Shhhh!" Trigg scolded.

"Stay down," Spyro whispered.

Sunburn and Whirlwind exchanged glances. "What's down there?" Sunburn asked.

"See for yourself." Spyro and the others glanced over the cliff edge they were hiding on and the dragon pointed down. It was a gang of goons, mostly Boom Friends and Spell Punks.

Chop Chop grumbled. "An ambush..."

"They probably want to reclaim Woodburrow!" Whirlwind gasped.

Trigger pulled out his guns. "Well, we'll just have to ambush them first!"

"Good idea, Trigg!" Spyro concurred. "But it's not a big group. Only a couple of us should go down there."

"I'll go," Jet volunteered. "I haven't been in action since Pop Fizz pulled that stunt a few weeks ago."

Spyro nodded. "Alright, but who else?"

 **"Viva el Skylanders!"** Trigger Happy leaped out of their hiding position, guns ablaze.

"Trigger Happy!" Spyro exclaimed. He groaned. "Jet-Vac, help him out, would you?"

"Yessir!" Jet hopped after Trigg, dodged a bomb and blasted a Spell Punk in the face.

Strealth was muttering something under her breath. "I hate Spell Punks..." Spyro was telling the other three the plan, but Stealth was watching Trigg and Jet fight. She glanced down at the cast on her arm. "I hate being handicapped..." She stood and adjusted her glove. "I can still fight."

With very little hesitation, Stealth jumped into the action. Sunburn flinched when he saw this. "Stealth Elf!" he exclaimed.

"What?!"

"What did she do?!"

Sunburn dashed to the edge so that he could observe Stealth's shenanigans. She smacked an Earth Spell Punk with an uppercut, swept a Boom Friend off it's feet and hook punched another in the nose. "I can fight with one arm! Ha ha! Take that, Whirlwind and Sunburn!"

"H-Hey! Get off!" Stealth spun around to find that an Undead Spell Punk had conjured up a Rhu-Barb and sent it after Jet-Vac. "Uh... I have a blaster!" The Rhu-Barb grunted and swatted Jet's gun out of his hands. "Okay, so now I _don't_ have a blaster!" Stealth growled and somersaulted between Jet and the undead monster, then hit the monster with a back thrust kick, causing it to disappear. Jet sighed. "Thanks for the save, Stealth Elf." Stealth nodded. "But should you be engaged in combat with an injured arm?"

Stealth roared, then calmed herself like before. "Calm, calm." She looked back up at Jet, still with a somewhat angry spark in her eye. "Why shouldn't I be in combat?"

Jet sweatdropped. "Spyro handicapped you."

Stealth fumed. "I can fight even with a handicap!" she declared.

 **"Look out, ya bozos!"** Trigg appeared from out of nowhere and blasted a Boom Friend who was about to explode Jet and Stealth. "Pay attention you crazies!" the gunslinger exclaimed.

"Sorry, Trigg," Jet sighed. He turned back to Stealth Elf. "Go back and hide with the others. I'll discuss with Spyro about limiting how far from Woodburrow you can go later."

Stealth scowled. "Why you..."

"Uh... guys?" Trigger directed their attention to a large super tank being driven by an ecstatic Boom Friend. "That is not good."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Stealth grumbled, her ears drooped.

Jet stood in front of his teammates. "Alright, I've got this."

Trigg gave him a sarcastic look. "What are ya gonna do, blow puffs of air at it?"

"Trigger Happy..." Stealth growled.

"C'mon elf girl, you know it's true!"

"Call me that again and see what happens!"

"This thruster does a lot more than blow air!"

The Boom Friend shrugged and pressed a bunch of buttons with its tongue lolling out like an idiot. It waved goodbye as a giant missile emerged from the tank.

"Did you hear something?" Trigg asked, his ears perked.

Stealth tilted her head. "Uh, my vision's not that great, but is that a death missile?"

Jet and Trigg whipped around. "Oh, joy," Jet sighed.

"Uh-oh," Spyro gasped. The others were at a loss for words.

Trigg latched onto Stealth's arm and started crying. **"We're gonna die!"**

Stealth swallowed. "Think we have a chance in hell?" she asked Jet.

"We're not gonna die!" Jet exclaimed. A loud sound built up and the missile started shaking. "Okay, so there's a sixty-seven percent chance we're gonna die."

"Why aren't they moving?" Chop Chop questioned.

"Paralyzed with fear?" Spyro guessed. "They'll be fine."

"Can the Drow _not_ be fine?"

 **"She's not a freaking Drow!"** Whirlwind exclaimed.

Sunburn winced. "Alright, let's stay calm and try counting to ten..."

The Boom Friend raised it's and and waved it tauntingly, then slammed it down on a red button. The missile launched. The Skylanders didn't move, except for Whirlwind, who lunged forward. "No!"

"Whirlwind!" Sunburn pulled her back.

There was an explosion.

There was yelling.

But Spyro saw something the others missed.

The discharge didn't kill them.

It sent them flying.

* * *

|| Cliffhangers, cliffhangers everywhere! While they are an important part of writing, I feel that kind of abused them in this series.

Did... did you see that? Look. Look again. Look at the way that I completely dismissed the fact that there was an unnecessary amount of Skylanders on this border patrol. Then... look! Look again! Look at the way that I complete dismiss Spyro bringing Stealth Elf along despite the fact that she was on a medical! Wow! Absolutely beautiful plot convenience right there! Ten outta ten! That's not even to mention Chop Chop, who does literally nothing in this story and is only here to poorly establish his rivalry with Stealth Elf. Also that completely irrelevant callback to _Swappable Stoppable._

This story is garbage.

I will give it props, though. For one thing, this story actually takes place over the course of _two_ days instead of _one._ Huge improvement there, I know. For another, I really love Whirlwind and Stealth Elf's relationship. We didn't get to see much of it in _Pop Fizz... of DOOM!_ but it's in full effect in this story. Sort of. Although... there are some points when Whirlwind kind of reminds me of a yandere. Is that just me? I hope that's just me.

Also "Hey Spyro, I found a log!" "Really?! Let me see!" is one of my favorite exchanges in this entire series. Keh. ||


	14. Blank Out: 2

|| And here we have chapter 2 of Blank Out! AKA "the part where Trigger Happy turns into Shadow the Hedgehog".

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

"Are you sure about this, Spyro?" Whirlwind asked.

"Positive!" Spyro replied. "I know what I saw. If they're not on this island, they're somewhere close."

Chop Chop grumbled. "So after we find Trigger Happy and Jet-Vac, we're going back home, right?" The others glared at him. Chop Chop sighed. "And the Drow..."

 **"She's not a Drow!"** Whirlwind exclaimed.

Sunburn sighed. "Spyro, could you sign her up for Fryno's anger management class...?"

Spyro laughed. "I'll see what I can do," he replied. "But right now, we have to find Trigg and the others."

Meanwhile, somewhere on another island, something crashed to the ground. Three somethings, actually, all of which landed on separate corners of the area.

* * *

"Ugh..." Jet-Vac slowly began to wake up. He was in the middle of the forest on an unmapped island in Cloudbreak. A crisp wind filled the air as he stood up and rubbed his head. "Hoo, boy... where am I?" Jet looked down at his hands and examined himself. "Uh... _who_ am I?" He shook himself off. "This can't be any good..." He felt his throat. "Scottish...?"

With a shrug, he peered at his surroundings. He discovered a shiny blue object laying on the ground a few feet away from him. "Is that..." It was his cannon. Jet chuckled as he picked it up. "Ho ho! A Vac Blaster 9000!" He turned his head, probably in search of it's owner, then looked back down at the gun. "Is it mine?" He smirked. "Well, it is now!"

After tapping his foot and thinking about what to do or where to go, the Sky Baron started walking into the wood. "Looks like I've got a bit of searching to do."

* * *

Somewhere else on the unmarked island, Trigger Happy was hanging unconscious in a tree. Blood dripped from a scratch on the side of his face. "Mmph..." he grumbled. His foot slipped from the branch and he landed on the ground. "Ugh!" He pushed himself to his feet and rubbed the gash. He glanced at the fur on his hand, which was now stained crimson. "Blood..." He wiped it on the grass and looked around. "Can't remember anything... and my voice is so high pitched!" He roared and punched a tree, then reeled back in pain. "Weak and scrawny..." Trigg growled. "Great."

He shook of his hand off. "I need to get stronger..." He cracked his knuckles and climbed back up to the top of the tree he had fallen out of and looked out at the forest below. "Hmph." With a grunt, he stormed across the treetops.

* * *

And last, but certainly not least, in a clearing by a pond, was Stealth Elf. The pond was surrounded on three sides by beautiful, golden flowers, blossoming with Spring. A small Stump Puppy was sniffing Stealth's ear. The elf stirred, causing the puppy to dash behind a bush. "Ooh, ow ow ow..." She sat up and shook her head. "My arm hurts, and my head feels empty..." The Stump Puppy whimpered and padded back over to her. "Oh... hi!" Stealth patted the dog's head. "Do you know where we are?" The dog tilted it's head. "How about who I am?" The dog shook it's head and Stealth sighed. "I didn't think so..."

She stood up, almost falling over in the process, which was a little odd for somebody like her. The puppy nudged her cast. "Hm? Oh... I don't know what happened with that, but it really hurts... It's kind of frustrating..." The dog growled and tugged on her skort, directing her towards the pond. "What's this?" The Stump Puppy barked and stuck it's face in the water for a couple seconds, then pulled it back out. It barked again. "You want me to try?" Stealth asked. The dog nodded. Stealth stared at the water for a moment, then mimicked the pup. When she pulled her head out, she started laughing. "That's relaxing! Thank you."

The dog watched with it's tail wagging as she stood up and stretched. "I guess I should try to figure out what happened to me..." The puppy whined and grabbed her skort again when she started to leave. "Oh, I can't stay, little guy. I have to find out where I came from..." The Stump Puppy barked, then leaped into Stealth's arms. Well, arm. "Huh? You want to help me?" The pup nodded. "Oh! You're the greatest! Not just because you're the only person I know."

* * *

Trigger Happy hopped down from the tree he was in. Suddenly, a shadow skidded through the forest. "Alright, something's not right here..." The gremlin headed in the direction of what he saw. Pounding his fist on his other hand, he glanced around in search of the shadow.

Not that far away, Stealth Elf and her Stump Puppy friend were cautiously wandering the woods. "Ooh, this place is scary," Stealth whimpered. The dog, who was walking next to her, growled deeply in a protective fashion. Stealth giggled. "Well, I guess it's not as scary with you here." The dog barked. Then something in the bushes rustled, causing Stealth to yelp and flinch away. Seeing this, the pup howled loudly.

And in another part of the forest, Jet-Vac heard a wail and looked around in confusion. He grasped his blaster and started it up. "I'm not alone..." He turned and backed into a clearing, unbeknownst to him that Trigg and Stealth were doing the exact same thing. Trigg was holding up his fists, looking for a fight. Stealth was holding onto the dog for protection. They were all backing towards each other, and none of them knew the others were there. Stealth had an excuse; she can only see straight ahead. Jet and Trigg were just oblivious. And of course, they did eventually back right into each other.

 **"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"**

They leaped away and faced each other, taking battle-ready positions (except Stealth. The dog took a battle-ready position). **"Who are you?!"** they exclaimed in unison. Then they each gave a confused expression. "Who am I?" They still spoke in perfect harmony. "Uh... I don't know! Do you?"

"Woah woah woah, hold up!" Trigg said. "What's going on here?"

"Maybe it would be best if we start over," Jet suggest. "It's nice to meet you. I have no idea who I am."

Trigg chuckled. "Heh. Neither do I."

"Ditto..." Stealth whined. The dog lightened up and looked up at her.

Jet sighed. "Well, I guess none of us are doing much help for each other right now..."

"Yeah..." Trigg concurred. "Welp, see ya."

 **"Wait!"** Jet exclaimed, causing Trigg to stop short. "We all lost our memories at the same time- that can't be a coincidence."

Trigg snorted and turned back to him. "Yeah? So?"

Jet exchanged glances with Stealth, then replied, _"So,_ we probably knew each other before we got amnesia. If we stick together, maybe we have a better chance of discovering where we came from, and how this happened."

"I like that idea!" Stealth said. Her dog friend wagged it's tail.

Trigg considered this, then shook his head. "No," he coldly replied. "I don't need to know where I came from." His declaration caused worried expressions to appear on Jet and Stealth's faces. "I'd rather start over. It's obvious that's what we're supposed to do, so that's what I'm doing."

He rotated around to leave again, only for Jet-Vac to grab his shoulder. "So your past doesn't mean anything to you?"

A frown crept across Trigg's face.

"Let's work together," Jet said before looking back at Stealth Elf. "You're up for it, right?"

Stealth nodded. "O-Of course! Nobody should be alone! And besides, we have a common goal."

"So what do you say?" Jet asked.

Trigg paused, his arms folded and the wind flowing through his fur. Then a smirk appeared. "I say you two are idiots for trusting a stranger like that." Jet raised and eyebrow and Stealth tilted her head. "Fine. Maybe I am better off going with you nincompoops."

"Yay!" Stealth exclaimed.

"Tally ho!" Jet said, extending his hand in greeting. "I'd tell you my name, if I knew it."

Trigg snickered. "Yeah. I probably wouldn't." With that remark, he shook the Sky Baron's hand.

"Hey, so if we're all friends now," They turned at Stealth's voice. "I can't figure out how to get this mask off!"

The boys sweatdropped. "Yeah, you're on your own," Trigg said.

* * *

Kaos and Glumshanks, meanwhile, were leisurely strolling somewhere else on the island. Well, Glumshanks was. Kaos was super uptight. "Come on, sir," Glumshanks pleaded. "We came here to calm down and think of a new plan."

"I need an Air source, Glumshanks!" Kaos exclaimed. "There is no plan and there is no calming down until I have an Air source!"

Glumshanks whimpered. "I-I understand, sir," he replied. "but you've been like this for weeks! We're- er, you're not going to get anywhere like that."

Kaos shook his head. "That blue fuzzball could have gotten it all done for me, but then those miserable Skylosers showed up and ruined everything!" the Dark Portal Master complained.

"You can still do this, sir!" Glumshanks cried. "The Kaos I know would never give up on taking over Skylands after just one failed attempt! You've been working on this plan far too long to just turn back. And honestly, I think this one might actually work!"

Kaos scratched his chin. "You really think so, Glumshanks?"

"Of course, sir!" the troll replied.

Kaos grinned. "For once, fool, you've made a point! A good one! An _evil_ one!" He rubbed his hands together as if he was scheming, which he was. "I just need to get an Air source. It should be no trouble to trick that foolish Dragon into my trap. But how...? Ah, maybe I can get another one of those gross Skylame-os to do my bidding for me!"

"Um... sir?"

"Quiet, Glumshanks!" Kaos demanded. "But which one? It will be difficult to find another one that gullible..."

"Sir!"

"What?!" Glumshanks pointed his master's attention to a clearing not that far away from them. But it wasn't the clearing- it was the four figures standing in it. Kaos gasped. "Skylanders!"

* * *

|| The edge is real with this one.

Okay, so if I remember correctly, the thing I was going for here is that losing their memories caused their personalities to revert back to the way they were a long time ago. So basically, this is how Jet-Vac was before he sacrificed his wings, how Trigger Happy was before he became a vigilante, and how Stealth Elf was before she started training under her master. An interesting concept, but unfortunately we never got far enough into the series for it to be fully explained.

Also dog. Dogs are good. ||


	15. Blank Out: 3

|| And here we have chapter 3 of Blank Out! AKA "the part where Trigger Happy is an asshole. Seriously." ||

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Dusk fell. Kaos and Glumshanks watched from behind the brambles as the lost Skylanders and their new Stump Dog friend pondered what to do next. "What do you think they're doing?" Glumshanks asked.

Kaos grumbled. "Probably scheming how to defeat my evil awesomeness next..."

"I doubt it."

"Eh?"

"They look lost, sir," Glumshanks told him. "Maybe now would be a good time to strike? That Sky Baron is probably an Air Element, and if we- you capture them, you could trick the dragon into coming to rescue them."

As Kaos considered his butler's advice, Jet-Vac, Trigger Happy and Stealth Elf were considering a plan to recover their lost memories. Jet and Trigg were discussing various ideas while Stealth watched in confusion with the dog in her lap.

"I still say we find an airship and leave this crappy island," Trigg suggested.

Jet growled. "We're not starting over, gremlin," he reminded him. "And we can't leave. There could be somebody looking for us."

"Like the feds looking for outlaws..."

"Shut it! You'll scare the girl."

"Well, we should come up with something soon..." Stealth said. "I'm hungry... and I have to go to the bathroom..." The puppy looked up at her.

Trigg facepalmed, muttering stuff under his breath, and Jet pointed towards the wood. "There's a bush with your name on it," he said.

"Use one that we can't see..." Trigg sighed, his hand still over his face.

"Alright, I've got it Glumshanks!" Kaos declared in a whisper so that the Skylanders couldn't hear. "We'll jump them, grab an Air source from the Sky Baron, and trick the dragon into rescuing them!"

Glumshanks sighed. "Yes, sir," he replied. _"Your_ plan is flawless."

Kaos cackled evilly. "Why, yes it is! Now on the count of three, we jump out and surprise them."

"Yes. There is absolutely no way that could blow up in your face."

"What?!"

"Nothing!"

Kaos cackled evilly. "Ready?"

"Actually, I-"

"OnetwothreeGO!" The evildoers leaped out from their hiding spot in the bushes. "Skylanders!" Kaos exclaimed.

Stealth leaped a mile in the air, Jet looked confused and Trigg took an offensive position like a Street Fighter. "Who the hell are you?!" Trigg cried, causing Kaos and Glumshanks to look extremely perplexed.

"How can he not know me?" Kaos whispered. Glumshanks responded with a shrug.

Jet pulled the gremlin away so that he could speak with the Portal Master himself. Trigger shot the bird a "who died and put you in charge?" look when he did so. Stealth Elf was holding onto her Stump Pup for dear life. "Do you know who we are?" asked Jet-Vac in a genuine tone.

Kaos tilted his head, then exchanged glances with his butler. "Wait... you don't remember who you are?" Jet shook his head, Trigg and Stealth looked at the ground. "You don't remember... _anything?"_ More head shaking.

Kaos glanced back at Glumshanks, and with the exact same thought going through their heads, they grinned and high-fived. "Well, allow me to shed some light on the subject!" the young villain laughed, stepping closer to the amnesiac Skylanders. Stealth stood up and moved closer to Trigg, which caught the gremlin off guard. "I am _Lord Kaos,_ the rightful, all powerful, _awesome_ ruler of Skylands!"

"A lord?" Stealth questioned. The quiet tone in her voice was totally out of character, but hey, amnesia.

"Why yes, my dear," Kaos continued with a sly look on his face. "And you see, you three _work for me!"_

Trigg raised an eyebrow. "We do?"

"You do!" Kaos exclaimed. "You're, uh... uh..."

"Guards?" Glumshanks suggested.

"Guards!" Kaos cried, receiving confused looks. "Guardians. Yes! My most trusted workers."

Jet scratched his chin. "Really?" he asked. Kaos nodded. "Then, you can tell us our names, right?"

"Ah! I want to know my name!" Stealth said. The Stump Puppy barked in agreement.

"Oh... uh, of course!" Kaos replied. He then leaned towards Glumshanks. "What are their names?" he whispered.

"How am I supposed to know?" Glumshanks whispered back.

Kaos laughed nervously, tapping his foot. "Names, names..." Trigg glared at him suspiciously. "Yes. Um..." He pointed to Jet-Vac. "You're name is, uh, Silver."

Jet nodded slowly. "Silver..." he parroted. "Yes! A truly worthy name."

"It really is," Kaos concurred. Glumshanks rolled his eyes.

"What about me, eh?" Trigg butted in.

Kaos clenched his teeth. "Right, you. You're, um... Blaster."

Trigg smirked and pounded his fists together. "Sounds about right! Now I just need an awesome rap theme song."

"Right..." Jet chuckled.

Stealth raised her hand. "Oh! What about me?" Her dog pal was wagging it's tail.

Kaos scratched his head, then snapped his fingers. "Right! You're Saki."

"Ah!" Stealth said cheerfully. "Hear that?" She turned to the puppy. "I have a name! 'Saki!'"

Glumshanks tapped his master's shoulder to get her attention. "Saki?" he questioned.

"What?" Kaos shrugged. "It's old Elvish!" Glumshanks sighed.

"So how did we end up here?" Trigg asked.

"Hey, I'm not done admiring my name!" Jet-Vac exclaimed.

"...How did we lose our memories?" Trigg totally ignored him.

Kaos nodded. "Well, you see," He faked a solemn expression. "You were doing what you always do- your completely awesome job of protecting my great kingdom from a gang of rebels called the _Skylanders."_

"R-Rebels?" Stealth stuttered.

"Sounds evil..." Trigg growled.

"Oh, they are," Kaos assured them. Glumshanks was trying not to laugh as his master rambled off lies. "But just when you were about to take them out for good, their leader generated a powerful blast that sent you flying to a totally different island!" He pretended to look upset as he continued. "We were so worried! We went searching for you as soon as it happened, but could _never_ have imagined this!" Glumshanks turned so that the Skylanders couldn't tell he was chuckling.

"That's thoughtful of you," Stealth said.

"Right! You sound like a great leader," Jet added.

Glumshanks wiped a tear from his eye and turned back to them. "He is!" the troll insisted. "Everybody in Skylands adores Lord Kaos."

"Wait, if he's a lord," Trigg said. "then shouldn't we be bowing?"

"I think we are!" Stealth cried.

"Well what are we doing just standing here?!" Jet exclaimed, taking a knee. The other two did the same. Even the Stump Dog collapsed it's front legs to look like it was bowing.

Kaos' eyes brightened, and he did a "cha-ching" motion with his arm while they weren't looking. He then stood back up and dusted off his robe, and cleared his throat. "Oh no, there's no need for that." He tried to sound humble. "Please, stand up." You could tell he was struggling. "Let's go back to my- er, our castle. I can fill you in on everything else on the way there."

"Ah! I want to know why my arm is broken!" Stealth Elf cried when she stood up. The dog tilted it's head at her. "And why I can only see straight ahead!"

"I'll explain anything you want," Kaos chuckled. "Now, where did you park the ship, Glumshanks?"

"Who's the troll?" Trigg uttered.

Jet shrugged. "Beats me, Blaster," he replied. "I guess his name is 'Glumshanks.'"

"That's a funny name," Stealth noted.

"It really is," Trigg laughed.

"Come on, you three!" Glumshanks called. "You shouldn't keep your _glorious leader_ waiting!"

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Jet replied, dashing after them into the forest. "I told you we shouldn't have left the island!"

"Ah, shut your beak, bird boy!" Trigg replied.

"Come on, don't fight!" Stealth begged, the dog following her into the wood.

* * *

"Stealth Elf!" Sunburn called.

"Hey, Trigg!" Spyro exclaimed. The only response was an echo.

Chop Chop shook his head. "The sun is going down," he said. "I think it's time to go back to Woddburrow."

"No!" Whirlwind cried. "We can't go back without them!"

"He's right, Whirl," Spyro sighed. "The others don't know where we are. We have to go back.

"But... but what about-?"

"We'll come back with a bigger search party tomorrow," Spyro reassured her.

"First thing in the morning," Sunburn added.

Whirl looked at her feet. "Well... okay, I guess. First thing in the morning!"

"Right!" Spyro said. "Now let's go back and tell everybody what happened."

* * *

"All I'm saying is that my name is better than yours!" Jet said as he and the others wandered through the forest.

Trigger Happy laughed. "Ha! Keep telling yourself that."

"C'mon guys!" Stealth pleaded. "Don't argue!"

"Let them go at it," Glumshanks said. "That's just male nature."

Stealth sighed. "Alright, mister..."

"So where's the freaking ship?" Trigg asked.

"Eh?" Kaos said. "Oh, right. It's just up ahead."

But before Trigg could reply, Jet stopped him and Stealth in their tracks. "What's the matter?" Stealth asked.

"I heard something..." Jet replied.

Trigg snorted. "Like what?"

"I'm not sure..." Jet replied. Then the ground shook. "Yeah, that's what I heard!"

"Is this part of the plan, sir?" Glumshanks quietly asked Kaos.

"I don't even know what that was!" Kaos frantically replied.

The ground shook again and the Stump Puppy leaped onto Trigg's head. "Get your pet off my freaking head," he growled, and Stealth Elf took it away.

"W-What was that...?" the ninja asked. A low growl emerged from her dog's throat.

As if to answer her question, a pair of Cyclops Mammoths stormed out of the forest, sending trees crashing down in the process and creating more tremors. "I'd say it was that," Trigg grumbled.

Kaos screeched. "Wait, don't those things work for you?" Glumshanks pointed out.

"They have brains the size of walnuts," Jet countered. "Eve if they do 'work' for Lord Kaos, they won't listen to his commands."

"We'll have to drive them off, then," Trigg said. Stealth's dog friend yipped in agreement.

"Right," Jet concurred, setting up his blaster for a special attack. "You stay away, m'lord. We'll handle this."

"You too, princess," Trigg told Stealth Elf before stupidly lunging at the same mammoth as Jet-Vac.

Stealth raised an eyebrow. "Princess?"

"He's not wrong," Glumshanks said.

Stealth's ears drooped. When she wasn't paying attention, the dog leaped from her arm and bit down on the other Cyclops Mammoth's leg. The beast roared and flung the dog back.

"My buster can drag it closer," Jet told Trigg. "I can distract it using this function, and you can hit it's weak point."

"Where's that?"

"The eye."

"How do you know this crap?"

"Beats me. Now go behind it!" Trigg rolled his eyes and dashed away. "Hey, ugly!" Jet called, catching one-eyed monster's attention. He turned on the vacuum setting of his artillery, slowly dragging the mammoth towards him. "Alright... now!"

"Hrah!" Trigg leaped onto it's back and grabbed hold of it's horns. "Take this!" He flipped over and jammed his heels into the Cyclops Mammoth's eye. It cried out and flung the gremlin to the ground, but he landed on his feet.

"Not bad," Jet complimented him as the behemoth rubbed it's injured eye and clumsily ran back into the forest.

Trigg nodded with a slight smile on his face. Then his ears perked and his head turned when he heard a shriek. The second mammoth was looming over Stealth Elf and her dog. Kaos and Glumshanks wouldn't do anything, they were cowering behind a tree. Trigg snarled and somersaulted between them. With a grunt, he jumped up and uppercut the beast in the jaw. He then jabbed his fist into the eye like Jet had instructed. Stealth stood speechless as the Cyclops followed the other into the wood. Trigg waited, then grumbled at her silence. _"You're welcome."_

"O-Oh! Wait-!" Stealth exclaimed, but he had already walked away. The Stump Dog looked up at her pitifully as she quietly stuttered, "T-Thank you..."

"Well, that was impressive," Kaos praised. "Now, let's _actually_ go! I'm getting sick of this place."

Stealth's ears drooped again and she shook her head. "I'm useless..." she muttered. The dog whimpered.

Jet set his hand on her shoulder. "It's fine," he said. "You'll get better."

Stealth sighed. "If you say so..."

* * *

|| Kaos would be dead without Glumshanks. No joke.

Wow, amnesiac Stealth Elf is pretty pathetic. I kind of forgot just how pathetic I made her. Even though I've reread this story multiple times. Yeah, I read my own fanfiction. I've reread _Maka Gets a Boyfriend at the End of This Story_ like, fifteen times. What's the point in writing it if you're not gonna read it?

Surprisingly I don't have much to say about the poor quality of this one's writing. I guess that nothing here especially stands out like it does in _Swappable Stoppable_ and _Pop Fizz... of DOOM!_ Which I guess is technically an improvement... technically? It's just a more subtle awful than the last two stories. ||


	16. Blank Out: 4

|| And here we have chapter 4 of Blank Out! AKA "the part where Stealth Elf says 'yeah' a lot". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

"Now this is more like it!" At Kastle Kaos, Trigger Happy was dressed with sports tape around his hands, feet, and forehead. "This feels right!"

Jet, Stealth, and the Stump Puppy, which Kaos let in for some reason, were sitting on a couch in a spare room that Kaos had (Actually, he had several). Jet was examining Stealth's arm. "Still hurt?" he asked.

"Yeah," the forest elf replied.

"It'll heal," Jet reassured her. After a moment's silence, he sighed. "Lord Kaos said that those 'Skylander' fellows did this to you... He said they did everything."

"Yeah..."

"They sound like bad people."

"Yeah..."

"Is that all you have to say?"

Stealth blinked, then looked down sadly. "Yeah..."

The dog, who was wearing a black bandana with Kaos' signature symbol, climbed onto Stealth's lap when Jet stood up to talk to Trigg. "Do you think I'm worthless?" she asked. The dog whimpered.

"She has to fight, Silv" Trigg said when Jet came up to him.

"I know," Jet replied. "Wait, what did you call me?" He shook his head. "Never mind. She's timid! We can't work with timid." Trigg was tightening his tape. "Lord Kaos will want us to confront the Skylanders soon, and I can't imagine that we can fight without all three of us." Trigg didn't appear to be paying attention. "Blaster!"

"Eh? I've got an idea," the gremlin replied.

"Shoot."

"She doesn't want to go near the bad guys," Trigg said. "so give 'er a weapon."

Jet tilted his head. "I guess that's a better idea than what I was thinking..."

"What were you thinking?"

"Turn the Stump Creature into an Attack Dog."

Trigg gave him a funny look. "Yeah. My idea is better."

* * *

"Saki!" Jet called. Stealth and the dog approached the Sky Baron and Trigger Happy.

"Yeah?" she asked. The puppy sat down next to her, it's tail swishing back and forth.

Trigg was holding a laser pistol. "Catch!" He tossed the gun at Stealth Elf and she flinched. The Stump Dog sprung up and caught it in it's jaws for her. Stealth took the weapon from it and patted the canine on the head. "What's this?" she asked.

"A gun," Jet-Vac replied.

"What do I do with it?"

"You shoot it," Trigg replied, using his fingers to symbolize shooting something.

Stealth examined the gun. "How?"

Trigg looked aggravated. "You _pull_ the _trigger!"_ He exclaimed.

Stealth pointed it at the wall. "Like this...?" She shot a hole clear through the wall. She blinked. "Uh... was that supposed to happen?"

"Nope!" Jet exclaimed.

"Maybe this _wasn't_ a good idea..." Trigg grumbled.

* * *

"Okay, maybe this one will work better." Jet was attaching an arm cannon to Stealth's good arm. The blaster itself sat on her forearm, and all of the mechanics were strung along up to her shoulder.

"This thing looks weird," Stealth said.

"Machines usually do," Trigg replied.

"Alright, this one is easier to use," Jet reassured her. "Just aim and fire. See? Easy! And you don't have to be anywhere near the target."

"Try not to blow up the wall this time," Trigg instructed.

Stealth gave the cannon a weird look, then freaked out when it started glowing. She pointed it at the wall. Then, you guessed it, she shot an even bigger hole through it.

Jet and Trigg stared at her in complete and utter exasperation. Trigg facepalmed and turned to you. Yes, you. "This girl is an idiot," he told you. Yes, you.

Jet glanced in the direction he was facing, then looked back at him. "Who are you talking to?"

Trigger blinked. "I have no idea."

With a sigh, Stealth slumped to the ground. "I suck." The Stump Dog barked and climbed into her lap.

"She's hopeless," Trigg growled.

"Nobody's hopeless," Jet returned. "She'll learn. Besides, how hard can it be to work a gun?"

Stealth accidentally shot a hole in the floor. "Ah!"

"Apparently, pretty hard," Trigg grumbled.

Jet shook his head. "Let's call it a day."

"It's three in the morning."

"Let's call it a night."

* * *

 **Woodburrow, two hours later**

"Wake up! Everybody, up! Up up up!" Whirlwind was shouting and hitting a stick on a Pan Hat. "Everybody awake! Nobody asleep!"

"Whirlwind!" Sunburn groaned, rubbing his eyes. "It's five o'clock in the morning! What the hell?!"

"I could say the same to you!" Whirl exclaimed. "We have to find Stealth Elf and Trigger Happy!"

"And Jet-Vac."

"Whatever!"

"Whirl, we don't even know if they're still alive..." Sunburn glumly reminded her.

Whirlwind shook her head. "Spyro said they are, and I believe him! Now we have to find them!"

"But Whirl-"

"They're probably alone, and hungry, and homesick! And if it's raining, they're probably all wet! And I _know_ they miss us!"

Sunburn sighed. "You're right," he admitted. "As soon as Spyro's up, we'll go back out. Now could you _please-"_

Whirl started banging on the pan again. "Up, up, up!"

"Whirlwind! **Whirlwind!"** Sunburn snatched away the stick. "Cut it out!"

Whirl grumbled. "Spyro better get up soon..."

* * *

Trigger Happy was beating on a punching bag, which Kaos had so "graciously" hung up for him. Although technically, it was Glumshanks who did so. "Right hook... roundhouse..." He muttered the names of each attack he used. "Stupid Skylanders, brainwashing us, breaking Saki's arm..." He growled and whirled around, bashing the bag so hard that the chain broke and it flew across the room.

In the doorway, Stealth took a step back as the punching bag landed at her feet. She was dressed in blue fleece pajamas, but still wearing that ninja mask. "That was a tornado kick," she said.

"Yeah, I watched an instructional video online," Trigg replied. "How'd you know?"

"Not sure..."

Trigg huffed and dragged the punching bag back to where it was supposed to be. "What are you doing up?" he asked in an attempt to make conversation.

"I was hungry," the girl responded.

"What about that mask?"

Stealth sighed and her stomach growled. "That's why I'm hungry." Trigg chuckled and hung the punching bag back up. "What about you? You should be getting some sleep."

"Bull," Trigg said. "I should be training. Silver says that Lord Kaos is going to want us the face off with those Skylosers soon."

Stealth giggled. "Sky _losers?"_

"I heard Lord Kaos call them that," Trigg explained.

Stealth stared at the ground as silence filled the air. "If he wants us to fight," she eventually got herself to say. "then I'm going to fight."

Trigger raised an eyebrow. "You are?"

"I'll need some help," she added in determination. "Please. Teach me how to use the arm cannon."

Trigg paused, then smiled. "Grab it and come back down here."

Stealth looked surprised. Apparently that wasn't the response she was expecting. Her astonish faded and she nodded. "Of course! T-Thank you!" With that, she rushed out the door to get the cannon.

* * *

After hooking up all the gizmos to Stealth Elf's arm again, she and Trigg were ready to try again. "Alright, it fires in the direction you point your arm," the gremlin said. "so try to aim at that X on the wall, okay?"

"Was that X always there?"

"Don't ask questions."

Stealth blinked, glanced at the gun, then back at him. "How do I shoot it?"

Trigg sighed. "Here, look." He stood behind the elf and grabbed her arm, causing her to blush. Despite the fact that they were about the same height, Stealth felt very small in this situation. "See this lever near your hand? You hold it down to charge it." He took her hand and showed her how to hold the lever. "Don't let go."

"Okay..."

"Now, aim it at the target." He directed Stealth to the X on the wall. She was shaky. "Calm down," Trigg instructed. "The longer you hold down the trigger, the more powerful your shot will be. Let go, and it will fire." Stealth didn't respond. "In other words, you can let go now."

Stealth released the trigger and yelped when it fired. The laser blasted right through the center of the X. "Bull's eye!" Trigg exclaimed.

Stealth blinked. "I... I did it..." She cheerfully threw her good arm into the air. "I did it! Alright! Woo hoo!"

Trigg watched her celebrate. "Maybe you aren't as hopeless as I thought."

Then she shot the ceiling again.

* * *

|| I love that the pairing in this story is listed as "one-sided, circumstantial Trigger Happy x Stealth Elf". I think that certainly turned a few heads.

Ha. I remember when I still had enough room left in my summaries to list pairings... good times.

You know, I specifically remember writing this chapter in my notebook during my family's annual camping trip two summers ago. Wow. Reading this now feels oddly nostalgic. ||


	17. Blank Out: 5

|| And here we have chapter 5 of Blank Out! AKA "the part where the inevitable happens". ||

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

As the sun began to rise over Woodburrow, the Skylanders began to gather around Spyro. Almost all of the Cores had come to hear about their leader's plan to rescue their friends. Wash Buckler was the only Swapper who was there. "Alright, Skylanders," Spyro announced, silencing the team. "I addressed this yesterday, but I know some of you weren't here. So, for those of you who were absent..." He paused and shook his head. "Trigger Happy, Stealth Elf and Jet-Vac are missing."

Before he could continue, the Skylanders started talking amongst themselves. Although most of them were concerned about their friends, there were those who seemed more bothered by how it happened. Some accused Kaos. Others accused Spyro's poor planning.

"Okay, come on guys," Spyro called, grabbing their attention once more. "It doesn't matter _how_ it happened, all that matters is that it did. Now we need to rescue them." Some of them nodded in agreement. "They could be anywhere, so we're going to have to search all over Cloudbreak." Now some of the residents of Woodburrow, including Tessa and Flynn, were joining too. "So, alongside yesterday's patrol..." Sunburn, Whirlwind and Chop Chop stepped forward. "...who wants to help search?"

Hands shot up, most notably Camo's. "We have to find them!" the Life dragon declared. Others shouted agreement.

"Great!" Spyro exclaimed. "Oh, hey Wash Buckler!"

"Hm?"

"Could you see if any members of the SWAP Force want to help?" Spyro asked. "I'm sure Stink Bomb and Free Ranger would be concerned."

"Of course," the mersquid replied. "I'll talk to all of them."

"Thanks. Sunburn, arrange parties of four to scout Mudwater Hollow and Fantasm Forest."

"Yes, sir."

"Whirlwind, could you get a list of every island of Cloudbreak?"

"Anything for Stealth Elf!"

"I can help with that, if you want," Tessa spoke up.

"That'd be great, thanks!" Whirl replied.

"Chop Chop, promise you won't say anything bad about Stealth Elf."

The arkeyan grumbled. "Fine..."

"When Wash Buckler gets back, we'll get a move on. We're burning daylight! Trigg and the others won't wait forever."

* * *

Mere moments later, at Kastle Kaos, Jet-Vac was starting to wake up. He stood up and stretched, scratching his back after doing so. He glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall of the small room that Kaos had left him and his friends in. It read 7:43. "Up and at 'em."

He turned his head to find that the two futons lying next to his were empty. Even Trigger and Stealth's stuff was gone. The Sky Baron questioned this, then decided that the others had probably gotten up already. "They're probably fine."

He walked over to his jet pack, Vac Blaster and visor, which were laying in a pile on the ground. He had taken them off when he went to bed. There was a sticky note attached to the pack. He picked it up and read it. "Courtesy of Lord Kaos~" it said. Jet then realized that Kaos' logo was stamped on all of his stuff.

He chuckled. "Ah. The leader's way." He pulled on his gear on and scooped up his weapon. "I should probably look for them anyway..."

Jet wandered into the halls, getting suspicious glances from the Trolls and Greebles he passed. "Lord Kaos is a very nice... and social person," Jet assumed. "Just look at how he lets these people stay in his big castle!"

After checking about every room on the floor he was on and finding nothing, he realized that he was getting nowhere. He grumbled and flipped on his jet pack, heading towards the end of the hallway where he had seen a staircase. Although he did find an elevator next to it. He glanced from the steps to elevator, then decided to take the elevator. He pressed the down button and waited, whistling something random. It made a "ding" sound and the door opened up. A trio of Cyclops walked out, mumbling gossip. When they walked away, Jet took there place. He was joined by an Arkeyan Defender, who looked over at the bird and scowled. The door closed and there was another "ding." And of course, the elevator music sounded familiar.

 _"Hold on, time out, Skylander!_

 _"There's something up with my drill._

 _"But you better watch out,_

 _"You'll be down for the count_

 _"When I show you my smashing skills!"_

Jet raised an eyebrow. "Odd tune..."

"Ding." The door opened up again. Jet-Vac and the arkeyan stepped out and headed in opposite directions. "Maybe I should just go speak with Lord Kaos... hm?" He stopped in front of a room with the door left wide open. Sure enough, his friends were inside. Stealth Elf was conked out on the couch with the Stump Puppy laying on her stomach and the arm cannon still hooked up. Trigger Happy was sitting on the floor with a laptop and headphones, and a glass of water was sitting next to him. "Ah! There you guys-"

" **Shh!** " Trigg scolded. He pointed to Stealth when Jet raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry." Jet approached the gremlin, who was taking a sip of his water. "What are you guys doing in here?"

Trigg took off the headphones. "She insisted on learning how to use the cannon," he explained. "It took forever, but she mastered it. Then she passed out where she is now."

"What about you?"

"Not tired," Trigg replied, looking back down at the laptop and clicking on something. "And I can't practice my moves with elfie over there sleeping, so I'm watching instructional videos instead." He turned the computer so Jet could see.

Jet smiled a bit. "Ah, so she can fight now?"

"Yep," Trigg responded with a nod. "She's ready. I'm ready."

"And most importantly, I'm ready!" Jet added. "Those Skylanders don't stand a chance."

Trigg closed the laptop and set it aside, then picked up his water and stood up. "What should we do?"

"Talk to Lord Kaos, I guess," Jet guessed. "I'm sure he has something for us to do."

Trigg glanced over at Stealth Elf. "I suppose we should wake her up then, huh?"

"I suppose," Jet concurred. "Is there a polite way to wake someone up?"

"Screw polite." Trigg lifted the dog off of Stealth and set it on the floor. It rubbed it's nose, sat up and yawned, then looked up curiously at Trigger Happy and Jet-Vac. The gremlin then proceeded to poke Stealth in the stomach. "Wakey wakey."

"Mmph," she grumbled. "Five more minutes..."

Trigg snorted. He glanced back at Jet, then poured his water over the elf's head.

 **"Gah!** I'm up! I'm up!" Stealth exclaimed, springing up off the couch. "...and soaked. Did you really have to do that?" Trigg shrugged with a smirk across his face.

"Sorry for the rude awakening, Saki," Jet apologized. "but it's time to face the day!"

"Can't we face the day in another two hours...?" Stealth complained. The dog padded next to her and scratched it's ear with it's hind paw.

"No," Trigg growled.

"We have to wake up early, just in case Lord Kaos has a job for us," Jet reminded her. "Now let's get you dried off."

Stealth sighed. "Alright..."

"Blaster, get a towel."

"Why do I have to do it?!"

"Because you're the one who dumped the water on her."

Trigg grumbled and left the room. Jet rolled his eyes and turned back to Stealth. "Okay, now let's get that thing off your arm..." he began.

"No!" Stealth cried, causing Jet to flinch. "I-I like this thing! It makes me feel... powerful!"

Jet stared at her questioningly, then shrugged. "Alright, whatever floats yer dinghy," he said. "but don't start thinking you're stronger than me."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it, Silv!"

Jet facepalmed. "Really? You're calling me that, too?"

"I got yer freakin' towel," Trigg growled as he returned. "Take it!" He flung the towel at Stealth Elf's _face._

She grumbled as it fell down over the Stump Dog's head. "Thanks."

Jet shook his head as the puppy whimpered and pawed the towel off of itself. "Nice."

Stealth took the rag from the dog (who tried to play tug-a-war with it) and dried herself off. "So, what's the plan?"

"We agreed to go see what Lord Kaos has for us," Trigg informed her.

"There's an elevator down the hall," Jet noted. "I'm pretty sure it opens up right into his throne room. It plays really weird music, though."

"Let's take that, then!" Stealth threw the towel at Trigger Happy and scooped up her dog with her one good arm. "

"Rmph," Trigg growled. Jet chuckled as he took the towel and chucked it onto the ground.

* * *

Whirlwind approached Spyro and Sunburn to find that they were pacing in time. Back and forth. Back and forth. Nervously, back and forth. Spyro stopped and Sunburn almost ran into him. "Whirlwind, status update," the Magic elemental demanded.

"Camo's party returned from Cloudbreak Core," Whirl stated. "He said there was no sign of them."

Spyro sighed. "Are you sure we sent them to _every_ island?" he questioned.

Whirl tipped her head. "Well..." she began. "There was this tiny, unmarked island that Tessa told me about..."

"And you didn't tell us?!" Sunburn exclaimed.

Spyro bobbed his head. "Sunburn, get Chop Chop. Whirl, ask Tessa for directions to the island. That's where we're going."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Jet-Vac, Trigger Happy, Stealth Elf and the Stump Dog stood in the weid music elevator.

" _It's the Chompy Mage, yo, and it's Christmas that I love,_

 _"There's presents, bells, even Mistletoe._

 _"With the halls decked out, it's really quite a scene_

 _"Did you happen to know that it's_

 _"Why I wear green?"_

Trigg raised an eyebrow and exchanged glances with Jet-Vac. _"Christmas_ music?" Jet shrugged.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the throne room, Kaos was doing what he does best- cackling. "It's perfect, Glumshanks!" the dark Portal Master exclaimed. "Those amnesiac Skylosers will do all the work for me! Provide an Air source, capture that annoying dragon, _everything_ Glumshanks!"

"I know, sir!" Glumshanks said. "You, uh, really are a genius."

"Heh heh. I know."

"Lord Kaos!" Kaos and his butler turned to see Noodles storming in, holding a piece of paper. "I... I just received an update from the... Cyclopses..." he panted.

"Eh?" Kaos questioned. "Make it quick. I don't have time for this."

"Skylanders!" Noodles cried. "All over Cloudbreak! On every island!"

Kaos blinked. _"Every_ island?"

 _"Every_ island!"

Kaos paused, then gave a toothy grin. "Their leader, the purple dragon. Which island is it on?!"

Noodles took a breath. "I figured you would want to know that..." He held up the piece of paper. It was a map of Cloudbreak. "See that _teenie-tiny_ island right there in the corner?"

Kaos raised an eyebrow. "Yes...?"

"That's where the dragon is going!"

The human swindled the map. "This is even better than I thought... **Glumshanks!** Find those three brain-drains and bring them here!"

"Of course, sir!" Literally the moment Glumshanks turned around, the Skylanders walked out of the elevator. The Troll blinked. "Found them."

"G'morning, Lord Kaos!" Jet exclaimed.

"That was fast," Kaos said. "Well, how nice that you're up. I have a _very_ special mission for the three of you."

Trigg snickered. "And this is why the first thing we did is come to you. What's the mission?"

Kaos handed the map to Jet-Vac. Stealth and the dog (which was on her head) leaned over his shoulder to see. "See the island in the top left corner?" Kaos asked.

"The _teenie-tiny_ one?" Jet questioned.

"Yeah," Kaos said. "You're going there."

"Eh?" Stealth said with a raised eyebrow.

"Why are we going to a tiny place like that?" Trigg asked.

Kaos smirked. "Because, that's where the Skylanders' _leader_ is!"

There was gasping. "The Skylanders' _leader?!"_ the trio exclaimed in a perfect three-part harmony.

"They're really excited!" Glumshanks whispered.

"Yes!" Kaos said. "Your mission is to go there and _capture_ him!"

As the trio excitedly started talking amongst themselves, Glumshanks pulled Kaos over for a quick conversation of their own. "Sir, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if seeing those Skylanders again... well, y'know... recovers their memory?"

"Please, Glumshanks." Kaos rolled his eyes. "There is absolutely no way that's going to happen."

Glumshanks sighed. "Whatever you say, sir."

"So when do we go?" Jet asked. He was obviously trying to act cool while in reality he was shaking with excitement.

Kaos chuckled. "Well, whenever you want!" He frowned. "Right now, preferably."

"Now! Now is good!" Stealth exclaimed.

"I'm gonna show those twerps who's boss!" Trigg growled. "Of course, you are, sire."

Kaos' frown turned upside down. "Glumshanks, get the ship."

* * *

The Dread-Yacht came to a slow, careful landing. Which pretty much means that Flynn wasn't driving. Actually, it was Spyro at the wheel. Flynn was reading a magazine. Sunburn was playing with the music box to get his mind off of... well, y'know. Whirlwind and Chop Chop were staring at the ground below them. "We're here," Spyro called.

"Oh, good for you," Flynn said, clearly paying very little attention. "I'll be right here. Good luck... uh... finding yer friends, there."

"Thanks, Flynn," Whirl said as she bounded onto the island. "C'mon, boys!"

"It's too bad we don't have some sort of communication system," Sunburn said as he and Chop Chop followed her off of the ship. "I mean, how are we supposed to know if the others find them? And how are the others that aren't at Woodburrow supposed to know that we left?"

"Maybe Drobot could create wrist communicators?" Chop Chop suggested.

"Yeah, with a video screen!" Sunburn concurred. "But how would the image and sound be sent?"

"Control tower?"

"Nah, maybe just a smaller building with a big antennae! Or a satellite dish!"

"Guys!" Spyro exclaimed. "Let's go!"

"Right, sir."

Meanwhile, Jet-Vac, Trigger Happy, Stealth Elf and the Stump Puppy were watching them from behind a bush. "They don't _look_ evil..." Stealth quietly observed."

"Who cares," Trigg growled. "Let's spring these punks."

"Don't we need a plan of attack?" Stealth said.

"You deal with the phoenix, Saki," Jet instructed. "Blaster, take the arkeyan and the... er... pegasus. I, the _leader,_ will take the liberty of capturing their leader."

Trigg snorted. "Who lost their memory and put you in charge?" he challenged.

"I did."

Trigg grumbled at this.

Stealth Elf and her dog exchanged glances in determination. "Okay, little guy," the Forest Elf said. "I'm gonna give it my all. I'm definitely not the strongest here, and... well, the phoenix guy looks scary." The dog tilted it's head. "But... I'm just gonna give up like that, just because it's scary. Will you help?"

The dog gave a small bark and licked her hand. She laughed. "Thanks!"

Jet set up his blaster and aimed it just in front of the search team. "I'll fire a warning shot," he said. "While they're distracted, you two get behind them. Don't do _anything_ until I come out."

"Yes, sir," Stealth replied with a salute.

"Don't call him sir!" Trigg exclaimed. "You'll only encourage him!"

"Saki, if that blaster isn't firing, I want it charging."

"Yes, sir."

"Oh c'mon, what did I just say?!"

"Blaster, you're the strongest one, that's why you'll be dealing with two," Jet informed him.

Trigg blinked. "And suddenly I'm okay with you being the self-proclaimed leader."

Jet smirked. "Now let's do this."

An air blast fired in front of Spyro, causing him to leap back. "What was that?!" Whirlwind cried.

Sunburn scratched at the mark that the blast had left on the ground. "It looks like it was fired from a... Vac Blaster!"

Whirlwind and Spyro exchanged glances. "You don't think...?"

"Believe it." They turned around to see Trigger Happy and Stealth Elf, and a dog.

"Stealth!" Whirl exclaimed. She lunged forward, but Sunburn restrained her like before.

"Hold up, Whirlie girl," he said. "Something's not right."

"What?" Whirlwind questioned. "What do you mean?"

Sunburn clenched his teeth. "Trigger Happy is wearing _sports tape_ and Stealth Elf has a _machine_ on her arm."

Whirl stared at their friends for a moment, then stepped back. "You're right..."

"Don't. Move." They looked up to find that Jet-Vac was dramatically lowering himself to the ground. Veeerrryyyy slllooowwwlllyyyy. "By decree of Lord Kaos," the Sky Baron declared. "Public enemy number one- the Skylanders –-will be taken into custody and left in the hands of the executioners."

"Kaos has executioners?" Spyro questioned.

"Yeah!" Stealth exclaimed. "Today we'll put an end to your doings, miscreants!" Her dog howled in agreement.

Trigg's ears folded back and he gave her a weird look. "'Miscreants?'"

"Word-a-Day Calender!" Stealth pointed to her dog, which was holding a calender marked "MISCREANTS" in it's jaws.

Trigg facepalmed.

"Seriously?" Jet sighed.

"Ah- _HA!"_ Chop Chop cried. "I knew it all along! She _is_ a double agent! But Jet-Vac and Trigger Happy? You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"Chop Chop, they're being manipulated," Spyro told him.

"Oh. **She's still a double agent!"**

 **"Give it a damn rest!"**

Jet turned on the vacuum function. "I have literally no idea what you're talking about," he said. "but that doesn't matter. You two? Get 'em." Trigg and Stealth (and the dog) leaped in front of their respective opponents. Stealth shot in front of Sunburn's feet and Trigg somehow managed to grab Chop Chop and throw him at Whirlwind. Jet confronted Spyro with a snort. "Alright, dragon; we can do this the _easy_ way, or the _hard_ way."

"Funny, Jet," Spyro laughed. "I was just about to say the same thing." He shot a trio of fire balls at Jet, which he swiftly avoided with his pack. After landing, he fired an air shot at Spyro, but missed by a mile. The dragon then charged head-first at Jet, ramming him into a tree. "Mess with the dragon, you get the horns."

Jet rubbed his beak. "Oy vey." He fired another air shot, which actually hit this time, and corkscrewed into the dragon.

"Come at me, arkeyan," Trigg growled with a hand taunt.

"I'd rather fight the Drow," Chop Chop complained.

"Of course you would," Whirl sighed. "Let's just knock them out and take them back to Woodburrow... maybe Hoot Loop can fix them."

"Right." Chop Chop slammed his sword into the ground, sending up powerful bone brambles at Trigger Happy. The gremlin hopped out of the way, but soon realized that it was just a diversion when he got blasted with rainbows. Chop Chop stormed at him with his shield, but Trigg grabbed it and tossed the arkeyan into the ground.

 **"Wakka-pow!"** the gremlin exclaimed when he did so. "Hey, where'd that come from...?"

Whirl facepalmed. "You know, you wouldn't be eating dirt right now if you had let go."

"Shut. Up."

Sunburn was teleporting back and forth as Stealth Elf kept shooting at him. "Ugh! Hold still so I can shoot you!"

Sunburn reappeared from a fiery ring. "Yeah, no," he replied. "Alright, no more of this. Don't you recognize me?"

"What's a 'Stealth Elf?'" Stealth questioned, exchanging glances with her dog. "Is that a type of Drow?"

Sunburn rolled his eyes. "Oh, now you're just encouraging him."

 **"She's a double agent I tell you!"**

They stared in confusion for a moment, then Stealth nudged her dog and pointed at Sunburn. It leaped forward and chomped on Sunburn's tail. "Oh, c'mon!" he exclaimed. "You've gotta remember! You're Whirlwind's best friend! You're rivals with Chop Chop! You yell at me a lot when I'm trying to be charming! You came from _underneath_ Treetop Terrace- see, I remembered that time! -and you were trained in ninjitsu for almost ten years!"

Stealth paused for a moment, then shook her head, holding up the cannon and charging it. "No way. Lord Kaos warned us that you were manipulative liars, and now I can see that he wasn't kidding. So if you think that I'm gonna fall for the oldest trick in the book, you've got something coming, buster!"

 _"Sunburn!"_ the phoenix "corrected." "Who's ever heard of a phoenix-dragon hybrid named 'Buster?' Wait, that's it!" He shook the Stump Puppy off of his tail and persisted, "I'm Sunburn! You're Stealth Elf! We went on a mission and we both thought we betrayed each other but then we actually didn't... well, _that's a story for another day._ Remember, when we had to confront that Spell Punk?"

Stealth's ears drooped. "'Sunburn,'" she echoed. "I... feel like I've heard that before..."

"Yes! Yes, you have!" The Stump Dog looked up at Sunburn and tilted it's head. "Remember, our friend Pop Fizz broke your arm! And Whirlwind over there fixed it! Well, she didn't 'fix' it, but she really helped it. We're-"

"...the Skylanders," Stealth finished for him. "Not... bad guys. Good guys!"

"That's right!" Sunburn encouraged, stepping closer.

"I remember... a tornado," Stealth said. "And a destroyed island... a... dragon, I think... with four heads!"

"The Hydra! That's right!" Sunburn nodded his head. "Remember your forest?"

Stealth paused. "Treetop... Terrace..." she remembered at last. "I'm the... guardian."

"Yes! Yeah!" The phoenix hopped a cheerful hop. "We're the good guys! The protectors of Skylands!"

"The Skylanders!" Stealth Elf exclaimed. Then she scowled. "And Kaos... played us... for _fools!"_ She accidentally released the trigger on the arm cannon, scathing Sunburn's feathers.

 **"Woah!** Little too close for comfort there, Stealth!"

"Ah, sorry Sunburn!" Stealth apologized. "Wait... Sunburn! You're Sunburn! Half phoenix, half dragon, and completely annoying!"

Sunburn grinned. "You do remember!"

"I do," Stealth responded with a nod. "And I'm Stealth Elf. The guardian of the forest. A ninja warrior... who should _never_ have a bucket of bolts like this any where near her! Get it off!"

Sunburn flinched, then helped unlatch the cannon from her right arm. "So you remember everything?"

"No, not everything..." Stealth sighed. "It's kinda... fuzzy. But it will come back." She hugged him gratefully. "Thank you, Sunburn."

Sunburn blinked and his beak turned pink. "Heh. You're definitely not _quite_ back to normal. Our Stealth Elf wouldn't _dream_ of hugs."

In slight confusion, the Stump Puppy tugged on Stealth's skort. "Hm?" She knelt down and patted it on the head. "Hey, little buddy," she said. She untied the purple bandana with Kaos' logo from it's neck and tossed it over her shoulder. "Kaos tricked us. He took advantage of us. He's the bad guy." The dog blinked, then barked.

"Um," Sunburn mumbled with a raised eyebrow. "Who's this?"

"Just a friend I made," Stealth replied, scratching the pup behind it's ear. "A helpful friend."

Sunburn shrugged. "Alright. Now, let's fix Jet and Trigg!"

Stealth and the dog nodded in unison. "Right."

* * *

Later, on Kaos' docked ship, the dark lord was sitting impatiently in a throne quite similar to the one at his castle. "Where are they?!" he finally exclaimed.

"I-I-I don't know, sir!" Glumshanks insisted. "But I-" then something beeped. The troll turned and looked at the security monitors. "Welp. Never mind. They're right outside the ship."

"Really?" Kaos asked. "Great! I'll talk to them myself!"

"Wait, sir!" Glumshanks tried to warn him as he walked through the doorway. "They don't... have the dragon..."

"Well, isn't it exactly who I wanted to see!" Kaos used his sly, disarming voice to address the Skylanders. "So, where's my dragon? Er, the dragon?"

"Yeah, the mission didn't exactly go as planned..." Jet-Vac said. Then, without warning, he whipped out his Vac Blaster and fired an air blast at Kaos. It knocked him backwards.

"Gah!" the human roared. "What's the big idea?!"

"We got our memories back, dummy," Trigger Happy said.

"And we don't take manipulation lightly," Jet added. "But since we're the good guys, that's all we're gonna do to you."

"But don't try it again, stupid!" Trigg exclaimed.

"Cut it out with the insults, Trigger Happy," Stealth said.

"Sorry..."

As they left, Kaos stood up and brushed himself off. "Well that's just great." He folded his arms.

"Ah... sir?" Glumshanks quietly approached his master from the ship.

Kaos sighed. "What do you want, Glumshanks?" he grumbled.

"Got their memories back, huh?"

"I _don't_ want to talk about it."

Glumshanks scratched his head. "Well... I think I have something that will make it a little better..."

Kaos growled. "Nothing you could possibly do could make this better, fool."

"I beg to differ," Glumshanks said. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a white and gray feather.

"Eh?" Kaos questioned. "A feather? A... an Air source!" He snatched the feather from his butler's hand and examined.

"It's the Sky Baron's. I got it from his bed," the Troll explained. "Now you can follow through with your plan, sir!"

Kaos chuckled. "Glumshanks, you're _almost_ as brilliant as me! Now let's go! My brilliant evil plan won't last forever."

As Glumshanks followed him back into the ship, he said, "You know, I specifically remember saying that there was absolutely no way that this plan could go wrong."

"Quiet, fool!"

* * *

Back in Woodburrow, Whirlwind and Sunburn were conversing. "It's too bad we had to leave that cute little Stump Puppy on it's island," Whirl said.

"Well what else were we supposed to do," Sunburn questioned. "make it a Skylander? It can't even talk!"

"Well, no," Whirl replied. "But couldn't we have made him a Magic Item?"

Sunburn sighed. "Whirl, we can't make a living creature into a Magic Item."

"I know..."

They stopped short when they saw that Stealth Elf was hitting her head against a tree. Repeatedly. "Hey, Stealth," Whirlwind said with a raised eyebrow. "That's a good way to lose your memory a third time."

 _"Third_ time?" Sunburn questioned.

"Oh my god, Sunburn," Whirl sounded exasperated. "she's only told her story to you a thousand times!"

The phoenix yelped. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "But seriously, elf girl, what's with the tree?"

"I had a crush on Trigger Happy," Stealth complained.

"Oh." Suddenly it made sense. "Well, it was just a fluke," Whirl assured her. "Don't worry about it!"

Stealth Elf sighed. "Alright, I guess..."

"Sunny! Whirlie!" Trigger Happy called. "Spyro wants to see you two!"

"Excuse me, did you just call me 'Sunny?!'"

"Alright, we're coming!" Whirl called. "See you later, Stealth!"

Stealth waved nervously as they left. "I guess it could have been worse..." She looked down at her hand, then pressed it against the tree. "They could have found out."

 **To be continued...**

* * *

|| Pffft.

Well, I can honestly say that this one is an improvement on the last two. However, it still suffers from all of the same problems (poor pacing, predictability, characters who serve no purpose to the plot, etc.), just not as badly as its predecessors did. This story really isn't anything special. It's not complete and utter trash, but it's not a great increase in quality, either.

No wonder nobody cared about this story.

On a side note, there were like, four references to future planned stories in the series in this chapter alone. Too bad none of it mattered in the end. At least most of those stories will carry over to the reboot.

Next time: _The Birth of Dark Spyro!_ ||


	18. Blank Out: Credits

|| Let's see if I can come up with a decent joke about how obnoxiously pathetic Stealth Elf is in this story. ||

* * *

 **THIS HAS BEEN SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: BLANK OUT! STARRING...  
**

 **CAPTAIN FLYNN**

 **SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG**

 **MIYAKO KAJIRO**

 **INVADER ZIM**

 **UNCLE IROH**

 ** _LOG_ HORIZON (kill me)**

 **BUSTER**

 **AND YUNO GASAI**

* * *

 **Here's what people have been saying about _Skylanders Short Stories: Blank Out..._**

 _"Wa-hey. Dramatic. But please tell me you aren't doing the body-switching thing again, that would be kinda lame. No offense. Anyway, keep going! And what's Stealth Elf and Chop Chop's problem? | Oh, amnesia. That makes a lot more sense, nice going. Keep writing! | Man, Whirlwind is losing it over Stealth. By why were they up at three in the morning anyway? And yeah, Kaos will be pissed. Odd how 'Blaster' and 'Silver' never thought of trying 'Saki' with a melee weapon. And it is just so weird to see Trigger Happy not acting like a psycho. Which I mean in the nicest way possible, Trig. No worries. Well this was exciting. Loved the constant suspense, and Stealth ElfXTrigger Happy? Yeah, no way. A phoenix dragon named Buster indeed, hilarious. A little disappointed you cut out part of the fight scene, but I get why you did it. Maybe you could put it in a deleted scene thingy? Anyway, good luck with the next one!"_ -Technow

 _"Okay, so I've been meaning to review your stories a lot, so here is just one big one. I have already read Swappable Stopabble and Pop Fizz of DOOM and just like this one I am enjoying every bit of it! I like how you can combine silly humor with an interesting story that can keep me hooked and not bored. Keep doing what your doing and I can't wait to see what you do with Trap Team! Also I don't know if you take requests, but do you think maybe you can include Prism Break as a character? But regardless keep up with the amazing AWESOME work with Skylanders Short Stories!"_ -RaptorFeet21

 _"I'M BATMAN"_ -Trigger Happy

 _"Dangit, Trigger Happy! Stop breakin' the fourth wall!"_ -Guest

 _"TRIGG IS BEST 4TH WALL BREAKER! XD had to be said... *clears throat* continue... i am enjoying everything :3"_ -BP-101Skyfander

* * *

 **Original Credits Song:** _"Forget About You"_ by R5

 **Next Time on Sonic Heroes:** A new evil will arise...

* * *

|| Good luck getting that reference.

Oh yeah, "a pheonix-dragon named Buster" was also pretty good. I guess this story had some of the best humor in the series. ||


	19. The Birth of Dark Spyro: 1

|| Now for the fourth installment into the original, discontinued Skylanders Short Stories series, _"The Birth of Dark Spyro"!_ Self-explanatory title, I know. Okay, guys, guys. I'm gonna level with you for a moment.  
This story _isn't awful._  
*gasp* I know, right?! I didn't think it was possible! Okay, I'm gonna stop messing around now. Yes, this is in fact the point where Skylanders Short Stories stopped sucking so much. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that this story is good. Well, it also doesn't mean that this story is bad. Let's find out which one it is. ||

* * *

 **SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: THE BIRTH OF DARK SPYRO**

 _August 2014 - October 2014_

With Kaos' ultimate plan falling into place, it's up to Spyro to defeat him. But when he falls into a trap, a new evil will awaken- an evil far too powerful for even the dark Portal Master himself can control. No pairing. Rated T for mild language. Five-shot.

 **Chapter One**

"Okay, remind me what we're doing again?"

Just outside the entrance to the under hollow, Spyro, Trigger Happy, Sunburn and Stealth Elf were going over a task for the fifth time. Spyro sighed. "You have to open the elemental locks," he repeated himself. "and once you're inside the vault, you have to make sure that all of the Battle Items on that list are still in there."

"Aw, but that sounds _boring!"_ Trigg whined.

Spyro rolled his eyes. "I'll let you play with the Sky Diamond when you're done."

"Really?!" Trigger Happy exclaimed, eyes bright. "Okay! I'll do it!"

Stealth Elf raised her hand. "You don't have to do that, elf girl," Spyro told her. "If you have something to say, just say it."

Blushing slightly, the ninja lowered her hand and stated her case. "Uh... I don't know how to read..." she pointed out. "Or write..."

"Oh, yeah..." Spyro said. "I forgot. Sorry, Stealth. You don't have to do this one."

Stealth bowed. "Thank you."

Sunburn watched her walk away, then slowly started to raise his hand. "I know you can read, Sunburn," Spyro stopped him. "You're not getting out of this that easily." The phoenix muttered something that couldn't be made out, but Spyro was pretty sure there was a curse word in there somewhere.

It had been a rule since the time of the Giants to check Battle Item inventory every two months. These powerful, magical items in the hands of the darkness could only lead to disaster. Much like the Skylanders themselves, Magic Items were passed down from Portal Master to Portal Master through the ages. And although the heroes have been holding up well on their own, Eon is still intent on finding a new Master to guide them.

If only he could find one with the powers of a Portal Master who hadn't turned to the dark side.

Speaking of _dark..._

* * *

Shadows. In the dark lair of Kaos, in place of his mighty throne, stood a tall machine. Eight capsules held eight items representative of each element. It was spiky, threatening, and... well, Kaos-y. Tall, sharp points rose from just behind each of the capsules, and there was a deep hole just next to it.

"Behold, Glumshanks!" the dark lord himself exclaimed. "The mechanism that will spell the Skylanders' **Ultimate Evil DOOM!"**

"Wow, sir!" Glumshanks seemed genuinely impressed. "It's looks even better than I ever could have imagined!"

Kaos cackled. "I know." So humble.

"So, what is it supposed to do?" the butler asked.

 _"Supposed_ to do?!" Kaos growled. _"Will_ do!" He snorted. "If you must know, fool, I'm going to harness the power of the eight elements to create my own Skylanders!"

Glumshanks raised an eyebrow and scratched his head. "Um... I don't mean to burst your bubble, sir, but can't you already do that?"

Kaos paused, then nodded slowly. "Well, _yes,_ but because they aren't genuine beings, they kind of... eh... what's the word?"

 _"Suck?"_ Glumshanks guessed.

Kaos sighed. "That's the one. But, this machine can take a person and clone _only_ their dark side!"

"Is that even possible?"

 **"Silence, Glumshanks!"** The troll rolled his eyes. "Now, allow me to demonstrate. _Oh Noodles!_ Do come in here, won't you?"

The ice ogre rushed in at the sound of his master's call. "Y-Yes sir!" Noodles said. "What do you need?"

Kaos directed his servant to the center of the machine. "I need you to stand riiiiiiiight... here!"

"Okay..."

Kaos retreated back to where he had been standing before, pulled out a remote labeled "DOOM" and pressed the big red button. A fury of violet lightning generated at the tip of each of the eight tall spikes and electrocuted Noodles. Glumshanks flinched when he saw this.

When the electricity died down, mist floated up from the hole next to the machine, and a large glass capsule emerged. Kaos laughed and Glumshanks stared intently as the door to the unit opened and a silhouette stepped out. The mist cleared, revealing the shadow to be Noodles- only with a darker tone to him. "What the-" the original began, before being tackled by his doppelganger.

Glumshanks watched with a dropped jaw. "Wow!" he eventually exclaimed. "That's amazing! Uh, sir. Are you sure it will work on a Skylander, though? Aren't they protected by an, er, sacred force?"

"Screw the sacred force!" Kaos declared. "This machine will rip right through their magical aura."

There was a loud crash, and they flinched away. "Alright, but what if the clones are defiant?" Glumshanks asked. "Don't you have some way to destroy them?"

Kaos pointed to the remote, and Glumshanks noticed a second button. "All I have to do is press this button, and the clones will self-destruct."

Glumshanks nodded. "So for once you have a fail-safe, huh?"

Kaos sighed. "Yeah, the last two plans didn't go so well," he admitted. "But, there's no way this plan could possibly blow up in my face!"

"I recall you saying that about the fuzzball and the amnesiacs..."

 **"Glumshanks!"** The troll sighed. "Now all I have to do is trick their dragon leader into coming here!"

"Why not send a letter?" Glumshanks suggested.

"Eh?"

He blinked. "You know, a letter!" Glumshanks said. "Okay, I'll do it for you."

"I'm pretty sure that's your job description."

* * *

Spyro was sitting outside the under hollow with a book titled "How to be the Most Awesomest Leader in the History of Awesomeness." As he turned the page, Stealth Elf came down the stairs looking exhausted. "Well, look who it is," Spyro said without looking up from his book.

Stealth grumbled and collapsed. That managed to get his attention. He poked her with his tail until she stood back up. "Stink Bomb makes us do the same stupid routine every single day," she complained. "I'm sick of it. He makes me do it five times."

"He probably just wants you to demonstrate for the boys," Spyro noted, looking back down at his book and flipping the page again. "They suck at it, don't they?"

Stealth nodded. "Well, yeah."

"I heard that Master Eon is going to start dropping us out of class if we've already completed training. I've been observing you, and your skills have improved drastically. You're probably the only competent one in your class, hm?"

Stealth blinked. "'Competent?'"

"Capable."

"Oh!" Stealth scratched her head. "Well, one doesn't like to toot their own horn..."

Spyro chuckled. "Except, apparently you."

"Hey!"

Sunburn and Trigger Happy (holding a clipboard) came back up from the hollow. "Everything is present and accounted for," Sunburn said. "And may I just say, we have _way_ too much stuff."

Trigg tossed the clipboard over his shoulder. "So... can I play with the Sky Diamond now?!"

Spyro closed his book and laughed. "Sure thing, little bud!" he replied.

"Hooray!"

The three watched him rush back into the under hollow. "You don't even have to tell me," Sunburn said. "I'll make sure he doesn't break it."

"Good," Spyro said.

"Spyro, sir!" They turned to find that Hot Dog was leaping down to them. He was carrying a piece of paper by a strap around his neck. "We've received a telegram addressed to you, sir."

Stealth Elf, having opposable thumbs, took the paper. "Oh. I still don't know how to read."

"Let me see!" Sunburn took the paper from her and skimmed over it. "Hey, it's from Kaos!" he exclaimed.

"What? No way!" Spyro snatched it and read over it himself. "Hey, it is! He wants me to confront him personally at Kastle Kaos. Alone!"

Sunburn shook his head. "Well, you shouldn't do it!"

"It's probably a trap, sir!" Hot Dog said.

Spyro laughed. "Please, I can handle anything he can throw at me!" he proclaimed. "I'll be there and back and you'll never notice I left!"

"Right..." Stealth said. "Welp, don't hurt yourself."

Sunburn growled. "Are you supportive of anybody?"

Hot Dog whimpered. "Please, be careful sir..." he pleaded.

"Ah, don't worry about it!" Spyro flapped his wings and took off. "Sunburn's in charge!"

Sunburn smirked. "I'm always in charge."

Then Trigger Happy thumped up the stairs with the Sky Diamond. "Who wants to play catch?!"

Stealth and Sunburn exchanged glances. "He's totally gonna break it."

* * *

|| I totally missed the chance to say "Sunburn and Stealth Elf" there. I guess that would have been too obvious.

Pffffffft, ahahah! Did you see that one part?! _"Shadows"._ Was that supposed to be a reference to that one really terrible Gravity Falls story I wrote? It looks edgy as all hell out of context. Not that there is any context. It's just sitting there, being a reference to one of my old stories. I'm pretty sure I put that there because I couldn't decide how to start that scene, but... really? I couldn't have deleted it when I was done? Wow.

And... really, Spyro? Okay, I said that this story was a big improvement, but that doesn't mean that the characters aren't still complete morons. The characters are still complete morons. But, they're not as bad as they were in _Pop Fizz... of DOOM!_ Arguably. At least Trigger Happy is having fun. ||


	20. The Birth of Dark Spyro: 2

|| And here we have chapter 2 of The Birth of Dark Spyro, AKA "the part where Spyro is a complete moron". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Spyro, the mighty dragon of Magic he was, soared through the coulds above Skylands. The farther he flew, the darker it grew. Darker and darker, in the direction of Kastle Kaos. He was confident that he could take anything that the Dark Emperor had in store- perhaps _too_ confident.

When the shady flying palace came into view, Spyro landed in front of the enormous, iron double-doors. Cautiously, he held up his hand (or whatever dragons have) and knocked. "Now what are you up to...?" he muttered.

Almost immediately after doing so, the huge (and inaccurate) hologram of Kaos' head appeared. **"Who goes there?!"** it boomed.

"Hiya, baldy," Spyro taunted.

The hologram scowled. **"Oh. You."** It disappeared, and a moment later, the doors slowly began to open. Spyro nodded, then bounded inside.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sunburn and Stealth Elf were discussing something with Trigger Happy. "...chewing, climbing, licking, eating..." Sunburn was saying with almost no space in between the words. "...kicking, shooting, exploding, and most importantly, throwing!" He then took a deep breath, and sighed. "And now that we've gone over everything that you _can't_ do with the Sky Diamond..." Trigg looked anxious. "...you can go play with it now."

"Yay!" Trigg exclaimed, scooping up the Magic Piece and storming toward the training dummies.

"You think he's actually not gonna do that stuff?" Stealth questioned.

"No," Sunburn replied. "no I don't."

Stealth stretched, then examined her right hand. "Mph... I'm gonna go do something... important," she said. "Do me a favor and _don't bother me,_ alright?"

Sunburn watched in confusion as she walked in the direction of Woodburrow's entrance, looked around, then completely disappeared. "She's definitely hiding something," he observed. He paused, then shook his head. "I shouldn't worry about it..." He glanced back to see the gates open and close on their own. "...not yet." As he wandered back over to where Trigger Happy was goofing around, he wondered aloud, "I wonder how Spyro is doing."

* * *

When he entered Kastle Kaos, Spyro was greeted by Kaos' throne room. "Looks like he did some remodeling." He looked around, realizing that he was the only one there. "Hello?" he called. No response. He shrugged it off, and approached the Portal sitting in the center of the room. Standing on his hind legs and leaning against the Potal for balance, he swirled his claw in the liquid. _Where is he?_

Suddenly, there was a "ding" noise that caused him to flinch. Kaos and Glumshanks stepped out of the elevator across the room. From the elevator emerged the lyrics,

"Make you laugh

"And then she'll make you cry

"Twist and tangle in her power

"All her enemies will cower!"

"Those Skylanders were right," Glumshanks said. "that elevator does play weird music!" Kaos ignored him and turned his attention to Spyro.

The dragon growled. "Hey, look what the troll dragged in."

Kaos smirked. "Same to you." He pulled out his "DOOM" remote and pressed a button. The Portal lowered into the floor, and a platform rose in it's place. "I would thanks you for coming..." the human claimed. "...but I don't 'thank' people."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Spyro said. "So, why'd you call me here anyway?"

Kaos dismissed Glumshanks with a wave of his hand. "You see, dragon," he then explained. "I, Kaos, have conceived a plan so fiendishly _awesome_ that it will not only conquer all of Skylands for me, but it will also permanently leave you and all the rest of your pitiful Skyloser friends in ruins!"

"Funny," Spyro laughed. "because I recall you saying that about the Hydra, and the Fist of Arkus, and the Evilizer, and-"

 **"Silence, fool!"** Kaos cut him off. Spyro rolled his eyes. "Unlike my previous schemes, this one will not, in fact, end in a horrible heap of failing failure."

Spyro couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah right!" he exclaimed. "My friends and I have foiled every single one of your plans! We've destroyed all your weapons, defeated all of your minions, and ultimately defeated _you_ three times now! There's _nothing_ you can do at this point that we can't counter."

Kaos frowned. "Well this one is going to be different," he said. "This plan is perfect! Foolproof! It will go exactly as originally planned!" He paused, then gave a toothy grin. "...because you were stupid enough to answer my call and come here. Now that you're here, everything is falling into place. Because you see, dragon... _you_ are the key in this scheme. _You_ are going to help me take over Skylands by bringing this plan into motion!"

Spyro snorted. "Nice try, Kaos!" He leaped onto the platform in front of him defiantly. "If you think I'm gonna help you with some bull plan that will lead to my own self-destruction, your skull is more numb than a Bog Hog's!" Kaos didn't respond. He just stared and smiled eerily. Spyro raised an eyebrow. "Hey! You listening?"

"Oh, I'm listening," Kaos replied. He pressed the button on his "DOOM" remote again, and this caused two metal rings to pop out of the platform and latch onto Spyro's hind ankles.

"Oh, $&%#," the dragon grumbled. "I can _not_ believe that I just fell for that."

* * *

"Weeeee! Diamonds!" Trigger Happy was cheerfully watching gems burst out of the Training Dummies as he blasted them with his guns. He whipped out his turret and fired rapidly at them.

Sunburn rolled his eyes. "Jeez, Trigg," he chuckled. "Are you ever _not_ insane?"

"Insane is good!" Trigg exclaimed. "Insane is fun!" He laughed crazily while still continuing his antics.

Sunburn shook his head. "Whatever you say, pal. I'm gonna go talk to Tessa." He started to leave, then stopped and called back, "Put that thing back when you're done!"

"Fine..."

Sunburn walked past the enchanted pool and approached Tessa and Flynn, who were arguing about something... like they do every single day. "Hiya, uh, Tessa?" the phoenix interrupted.

"What?" They turned their attention to Sunburn. "Oh, sorry Sunburn," Tessa apologized. "What's up?"

"I just figured I should tell you that Spyro went out," Sunburn responded. "He left me in charge."

"Well, good for him!" Flynn said. "What's he up to? Fightin' some evil-doers?"

Sunburn blinked. "Well, I don't really know what he's doing," he replied. "Hot Dog gave him a message from Kaos, so he went to go confront him."

Flynn and Tessa exchanged glances. "Is that safe?" the Mabu questioned.

Sunburn scratched his head. "Come to think of it, he's been gone a while..." He paused, then instructed. "Do me a favor and tell Drobot that he's in charge. Trigger Happy and I are gonna go investigate."

"Sounds like a plan!" Tessa replied as he flew away.

* * *

Kaos plopped down on his throne, laughing maniacally. "Oh, this is too perfect." The rest of the machine rose up around Spyro as he struggled to escape. "And it's not even my birthday!"

Spyro snarled. "What the hell is this thing?!" he exclaimed.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kaos blatantly replied. "It's your _doom."_

With that, the button was pressed once more and. Volt upon volt upon volt of violet lightning snaked up the eight lanky spikes and merged at the tips. It then rained back down upon Spyro, causing him to roar in agony. Kaos watched with that smirk still on his face. Spyro reeled from the pain. When the electricity came to a stop, his legs were released and he collapsed.

"Well, that was dramatic." Kaos looked back to see that Glumshanks had returned with a cup of tea.

"You'd best not ruin this for me, Glumshanks," Kaos growled.

"Wouldn't dream of it, sir."

The mist from before made a reappearance and the large glass capsule emerged from the floor. Spyro struggled to stand back up. "Wha... w-what...?"

 **"Behold!"** Kaos cried. "The creature that will bring Skylands to it's knees and burn it's protectors to a pile of ashes!" Before the door to the capsule could even think about opening, the glass completely shattered. A shadow burst upwards and perched on a high up pole. It spread it's wings and showed it's pointed teeth menacingly.

 _ **"Dark Spyro!"**_

* * *

|| That... that was the wrong its. This was before I knew the difference between its and it's.

Ugggghhhhhagh...

I said that this story was good, didn't I? Sorry for making false promises.

On the bright side, Kaos and Glumshanks's interactions are fantastic. Character interactions have always been the one thing I was really good at. Even if the dialogue itself is... awkward at times. ||


	21. The Birth of Dark Spyro: 3

|| And here we have chapter 3 of The Birth of Dark Spyro, AKA "the part where Sunburn displays the fact that he's the best character in this series". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Dark Spyro was a sight to behold, standing with his large wings out and teeth bared. Yes, he looked like Spyro, but somehow he also didn't at the same time. He had a longer wingspan than Spyro and teeth sharper than daggers. His crimson eyes showed intimidatingly in the darkness with vertical slits for pupils. His horns, chest, claws and tail were all a slick shade of silver, and his jet black scales blended in with the shadows.

Spyro stared up at his clone in confusion and pain. "I-It's..." He struggled to force the words out. "...me?"

Kaos cackled like he always does when things are going his way, leaping out of his chair. "Yes! Yes! It really worked!" he exclaimed.

"I'm just as surprised as you are, master," Glumshanks said. "But now the question is, will it do what you say?"

"Finally, a minion that's powerful and not completely incompetent!" Kaos totally ignored his butler. "After years of seeing flunkey upon flunkey defeated by those Skylame-os! After creating dozens of dark replicas of them with my own powers, without nearly enough strength to even stand a chance! _Finally_ a creature capable of destroying the Skylanders once and for all!" He shot his hand into the air. **"Dark Spyro!"** The shadowy dragon's gaze flicked over to his creator. "Kill him."

Spyro swallowed as his dark doppelganger set sights on him and smirked. Dark's wings floated up, then shot down, propelling him up. In mere seconds- no, milliseconds -he landed directly in front of his original. A low growl emerged from Spyro's throat as they circled each other for a few moments. Eventually Dark took a step forward. He examined Spyro head to tail, then darkly uttered his first word- "Run."

Spyro took heed to this and stormed up as fast as his wings could carry him. Dark laughed ominously before shooting a powerful ball of blue fire. It missed... barely. Spyro perched on a windowsill and shot down three fireballs. However,since he was so tired, his aim was horribly off and Dark only had to tilt his head slightly to the left to avoid it. Spyro grumbled at this. He tried to think up a quick strategy, and leaped off of the ledge. He didn't even attempt to fly; that wasn't his plan. He instead landed with such force that the impact sent out a shock wave. It knocked Kaos into his throne and spilled Glumshanks' tea, but Dark was smart enough to jump. The landing had drained any possible energy that Spyro had left, and he fell over. Dark grabbed him by the horn and tossed him onto his back. Spyro groaned as Dark set a foot on his stomach in triumph. "It's a shame that I have to do this while you're in this weakened state..." Dark muttered, running his claw across Spyro's scales. "...I would have preferred a real fight." He raised his claws, flashed a toothy grin, and gashed Spyro's belly open.

Kaos was on the edge of his seat laughing as Spyro cried out. "Ha ha! This is the best thing since Malefore's takeover!" he said. "Glumshanks, go make me some popcorn!"

"Damn it, blood is so hard to clean..." the Troll complained.

Spyro rolled onto his side, still moaning from the pain as blood trickled out of his open wound. "Defeated by... myself..." he choked. "Sunburn was... he was right... It was a trap... and... and I fell... right... into it..."

"You were a fool," Dark accused, sitting down next to his injured opponent. "To think that one silly mistake could lead to such a tragic downfall. But, stupidity always has fatal consequences..." He was examining his bloodied hand. It wasn't his own blood, of course. "Luckily I didn't get any of that stupidity." He turned back to Spyro. "Luckily for _me,_ of course _._ Not necessarily for you." He stood back up. "Light's Out!"

Spyro knew that he couldn't fight back. He could barely even move. All he could do is pray that Sunburn would do a good job in his place and brace for his impending death. But just as Dark was about to deliver the killing blow, just as the second step in Kaos' ultimate plan was about to follow through...

Trigger Happy burst through the window.

He tackled Dark Spyro, latched onto him and started punching him in the face. "Die, evil Spyro!" he cried. "Die!"

"Damn it!" Kaos roared, getting out of his seat. "Don't you annoying Skylosers know how to use the door?!"

Then Sunburn flew through another one.

"Seriously?!"

Sunburn glanced at Trigger Happy and his efforts to subdue Dark, then went over to Spyro and looked at his injury. "Spyro, I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner..." he began.

"Just fix the h-hole in my stomach!"

Sunburn clenched his teeth. "Should have brought Whirlwind..." he muttered. "It's really bad, but I may be able to stop the bleeding... y'know, temporarily."

"Do whatever it t-takes..."

 **"Get off!"** Dark Spyro flung Trigger Happy into a wall. Trigg shook himself off and rubbed his head, only to be pinned down. "On a scale of one to ten," the clone growled. "how much pain do you want to feel right now?"

Trigg swallowed. "Uh... zero?"

"Wrong answer!"

Sunburn blasted Dark with a flamethrower beam before he could hurt their gremlin friend. "Levae him alone, you frickin' faker!"

"Hurry up..." Spyro coughed.

"Ah! Sorry!" Sunburn was attempting to stop Spyro's bleeding by taking his own feathers and applying them to the wound. "This should work until we get to Woodburrow. Can you fly?"

Spyro slowly stood up, stumbling in the process. "Does it _look_ like I can fly?"

"Good point," Sunburn said. "I'll carry you."

"What about T-Trigger Happy?"

"He can ride on my back, like he did on the way here."

"Can you do both?"

"Hey, I work out!"

Then Trigg ran screaming in their direction as Dark was unleashing a fury of blue fireballs on him. "Go go go!" the gunslinger exclaimed, hopping on Sunburn's back. "Let's get out of here!"

Sunburn grumbled. "Alright, I guess we're leaving now!" He scooped up Spyro and took off as fast as possible (through another window).

"Oh, c'mon!" Kaos cried. "Dark Spyro, go after them!" But Dark didn't obey. Instead, he stood completely still, watching the Skylanders fly away with a devilish smirk. Kaos took a couple steps forward in order to confront his new minion. "Dark Spyro, I _command_ you to go after them!"

Dark frowned as he looked back at the Evil Portal Master. "If I let them go, Spyro will have a chance to heal," he said. "So the next time I fight him, he'll be at full power. He'll put up a real fight."

Kaos growled. "Listen here, fool..." He held up the "DOOM" remote. "I am your master. I created you, and I can destroy you with the push of a button. So the next time I tell you to go after the Skylanders, you go after the Skylanders! Do you understand?"

Dark snarled, then went back you a straight face. "Of course," he replied flatly. "...'master.'"

* * *

Spyro made it back to Woodburrow in one piece. Everybody wanted to hear what happened, but Whirlwind had forbidden him from story telling until his injury was properly taken care of. She washed it, used her rainbow and unicorn powers for as much good that could do, slapped a big band-aid on it and wrapped bandages all the way around his stomach and back. Once they were done with that, Whirl assured everybody that although he had lost quite a bit of blood, Spyro was going to be fine. This caused several sighs of relief.

"Sunburn and Trigger Happy told us what went down," Hot Dog told their leader. "You should really be more careful, sir."

Spyro nodded. "I know. It was stupid of me to do that, and even stupider to do so with so much confidence."

"So baldy has a cloning machine now, huh?" Roller Brawl said.

"But really, why would he need something like that?" Ghost Roaster questioned. "He can already create dark versions of us without any need for a machine."

"This one was different," Spyro said. "like nothing we've ever faced before. 'Dark Spyro' he called it. It was just as powerful as me!"

"Looks like it was stronger than you." Fryno pointed to his wound.

Spyro scowled. "The machine weakened me. That's the only reason he almost won." He sighed. "Look, he's up to something big this time. Not like manipulating Pop Fizz. Not like wiping the memories of Jet-Vac and the others. He's sure that this time he can defeat us and conquer Skylands."

"So what do you suggest we do, sir?" Hot Dog asked.

Spyro paused. This was more than most of the new recruits could handle. This may be more than what some of the veteran heroes could handle. But there was no avoiding it. "All I know... is that we have to be ready. We need to prepare for anything."

* * *

|| Ouch. This story is so edgy, I think I cut myself on it. Hey, here's a challenge: Which is edgier, _The Birth of Dark Spyro,_ or _Pop Fizz... of DOOM!_? I'd argue that _Sunburn and Stealth Elf_ was actually pretty edgy, but at least that one isn't actively _trying_ to be edgy.

And I'm not kidding in that above author's note. Sunburn, just, _objectively_ is the best character in this series. He's honorable, humorous, powerful, but not overpowered. He has strengths and weaknesses and cares about those around him, is consistently characterized, is there to pull his idiot friends out of tight situations, and even in the stories where literally everyone is a moron, he's the least moronic.

Then immediately after this one he gets an entire story centered around him. Oh boy. ||


	22. The Birth of Dark Spyro: 4

|| And here we have chapter 4 of The Birth of Dark Spyro, AKA "the part where we get to know Maverick Chaosdragon McEdgelord".

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Dark Spyro slithered up to the very top of Kastle Kaos. From there, he could see over the entire area. There was a lot to see, but it looked extremely... depressing, to say the least. Under Kaos' rule, this small (very small) area in Skylands was completely covered in darkness.

...but, it could be darker.

Skylands is a great world full of powerful magic, and guarded by the greatest defenders ever known. But it also has an offender just as powerful, and I'm not talking about Kaos. From the bloody red eyes of Dark, who was quite possibly one of the strongest creature in all of Skylands, it was vulnerable. Vulnerable, but threatened only by an incompetent child who couldn't defeat a hyperactive gremlin with a gun.

It was time for a new and improved villain. One who was _actually_ capable of causing fear and destruction. Someone who was smart, strong, looked rather dashing in black, and knew the secrets and weaknesses of each and every Skylander.

There was no better choice than the shadowy dragon with crimson eyes, standing with a menacing smirk at the top of Kastle Kaos.

* * *

On the brighter side of Skylands, the heroic Spyro of whom we've come to know and love was watching over Woodburrow from the top of the mushroom staircase as the sun rose off in the distance. Freeze Blade had decided to start off his class at the crack of dawn, much to his three students' annoyance. They had gathered in their normal place by Snagglescale's arena and were working on projectile attacks.

"Slam Bam, Chill, and Zap..." Spyro spoke his thoughts aloud. He smiled. "Sometimes I question Master Eon's choices." Then his somewhat cheerful expression faded. "That thing... it was really something else. Kaos could cause some real trouble with that machine. _Real_ trouble."

He paused as the sound of footsteps echoed from the staircase, and soon Sunburn made a not-so-grand entrance. "Spyro?" he questioned. "What... uh, what're ya doing?"

Spyro shook his head. "I don't even know anymore, Sunburn..." he grumbled in response. "What... what are we even doing? How are we supposed to fight this guy if... if he's me? He's me, Sunburn!"

The phoenix tilted his head. "Fighting some powerful crap never stopped us from beating up the Hydra. Or Kaos. Or his mom."

"This is different!" Spyro exclaimed. Sunburn flinched. "This is... I... I don't know what this is..." Then the air was momentarily silent, aside from the hushed crickets chirping below. "What do you think it is?"

The words were caught in his throat. Spyro had a tendency to feel all of his emotions _very_ drastically. For example, he got... er, abnormally angry (enraged is a better choice of words) when Stealth Elf switched bodies with him. He's normally pretty docile, because he's confident in himself and his team. But this kind of situation, where the stakes are high, the anxiety and frustration were getting to his head.

"Spyro..." Sunburn managed to say. "Sir, you're over thinking this! There's one of him and, like, a hundred of us!"

"There's seventy-two of us," the leader grumbled. "Fifty-six of us normal Skylanders and sixteen Swappers." A scowl came across his face as he muttered, "Sure would be nice if those Trap Masters hadn't ditched us and taken another half of us with them..."

Sunburn growled at this remark. "The Trap Team didn't ditch us, they had to watch over the Cloudcracker Prison! And that half of us that went with them made that choice themselves."

A low growl formed in Spyro's throat.

Sunburn flinched.

"Whatever." That's a word that the mighty dragon rarely said. "Just... do something. I have to go think."

He flew off, leaving his second-in-command to wonder whether he should be sympathetic or infuriated. "He's... going crazy."

"Sure is." Sunburn sighed. It totally wasn't a surprise anymore. Stealth Elf appeared behind him, leaned against the tree trunk. "Hiya, hot stuff."

"What in Eon's name urged you to say that?"

"Dunno." They approached the edge of the staircase, where Spyro had been sitting before. "Y'know, if he does go crazy, you'll be the leader of the Skylanders."

Sunburn nodded. "I know." he responded. "Quite frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Stealth gave a chuckle. "I could never be the leader of this sorry group of freaks."

"No kidding."

She smacked him across the beak. "Ha ha. You're hilarious."

"Owie..."

"But seriously. Fix Spyro."

Sunburn shook his head. "Easier said than done, elf girl," he glumly remarked. "I think the only way to... er, 'fix him' is to destroy that clone.

"Well then," Sunburn sometimes wished that he could tell if Stealth was smiling or not. "what are you waiting around for? Go beat up the jerk, tough guy."

Well, he sure knew that he was smiling. "Your right. Spyro's counting on me." He looked out over Woodburrow again and saw Chill accidentally hit Slam-Bam in the face. "They all need me."

"Great! Keep up that good attitude."

That kind of sentence was usually Stealth Elf's cue to leave. Sunburn knew that. He whipped around. "W-Wait! Stealth, I've been meaning to ask you-" Too late. She had already vanished. He grumbled. "...something..."

* * *

Dark Spyro slunk into Kaos' throne room, so silent that nobody noticed at all. He saw that Kaos was growling about the best way to destroy the Skylosers once and for all, while Glumshanks provided some thought-out suggestions that his master spat back in his face. Dark hid himself in the shadows for a moment or two to eavesdrop.

"But sir, wouldn't it be best for us to come up with a tactical strategy-?"

"Foolish servant! Everybody knows the only way to win a war is through the use of sheer, brute force!"

Kaos is an idiot.

Dark gave a very low grumble. It was shameful to be surrounded by such lame excuses for "evil villains." Hell, Dark is literally a clone of the _leader_ of the most _perfect_ team of heroes the world has to offer, and he was far more diabolical than this bald lunatic. No wonder the Skylanders defeat him at every turn. He's. An. Idiot.

He slithered into the light, still not drawing any attention. At least, until he firmly stated, "Hey, baldy."

Kaos and his butler winced, only to ease up when they realized it was Dark. "Oh, it's you," Kaos growled. "What do you want, Dark Spyro? Can't you see I'm busy?"

Dark gave him a crimson glare. "Busy with what? Constructing bloody schemes that will end in your own demise?" He smirked. "I find that interrupting your little plotting session may have saved your life."

Kaos pulled himself out of his throne in order to frown down upon his creation. "I find it best you not criticize me, slave."

The dragon kept a steady gaze. "I'm no slave. I could capture and sell you if I wanted to. Problem is, I wouldn't make much loot off of it."

Glumshanks watched with wide eyes as his master clenched a fist and conked his minion in the head. "Kneel before Lord Kaos, fool, for it is _I_ who could capture and sell you!" He pulled out the remote that he used to operate his machine. "Not to mention destroy you with the push of a button!"

Half a second later, Dark thrashed the remote with his tail, smashing it into a million little useless pieces.

Kaos gaped at this. "Um... uh-oh."

Dark, feeling rather pleased with himself, turned his head upwards and shot a blue fire blast at the ceiling. The inferno spread quickly. _Very quickly._ "Now, I'm going to give you a choice; you can leave before I count to three... or _burn."_

Glumshanks grabbed his master arm and tugged. "Sir, I think this is a good time to flee."

"One..."

"What?!" cried Kaos. "And leave my castle to burn?! I could never!"

"Two..."

"Sir, it's the castle or your life. Which one is more important?"

Kaos paused for a moment. That moment was a bit too long.

"Three!"

"Life. Definitely my life."

So they escaped the building in a small airship before they could become charcoal.

Dark sneered as he crawled past his flames, broke through the roof and perched back on the top of the castle. All of Kaos' minions were evacuating. Perfect. **"Attention, miserable creatures both organic and mechanic..."** All gazes turned to him when he spoke. **"You should know that your terrible leader** _ **Kaos**_ **is no longer is command here."** He grinned. **"I am. And you will bow before the all-mighty** _ **Dark Spyro...**_ **who will finally lead you to victory in your war against the Skylanders."**

* * *

|| Jeez, Kaos. Get your priorities straight.

Nothing especially terrible to point out in this chapter. Ey, did you catch that? A Trap Team reference! Nice! That's probably the most noteworthy thing that happens here. ||


	23. The Birth of Dark Spyro: 5

|| And here we have chapter 5 of The Birth of Dark Spyro, AKA "the part where both Spyros are crawling in their scales".

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

It was around noon in Woodburrow, probably a little earlier than that. The sun was a fair height in the sky. It spread a warm light across the village. Spyro had found a sunny spot in one of the courtyards to lay down in. He was having a rather peaceful nap, away from the ruckus of the SWAP Force's classes. It was nice to just relax and not think about all the trouble that he and his team were in.

"Spyro! Spyro, sir!"

Never mind.

Hot Dog's voice pierced the silence, causing the Magic dragon to grumpily awaken. "Sir," Hot Dog prodded Spyro with his paw. "Sir, I have an important report..."

"Ugh, what is it, Hot Dog?" Spyro grumbled. "Whirlwind told me to rest my injury."

"It's from Terrafin's border patrol." Spyro didn't like the tone in his messenger's voice. "They found a Greeble airship a few miles off."

Spyro's eyes narrowed. "Kaos." He stood up and stretched, careful not to hurt him stomach, then instructed, "Find Sunburn and Trigger Happy. Tell them to guard the gates."

"What about you?"

"I'll catch up," the leader assured him, feeling his bloodstained bandages. "Just go."

"Yes, sir."

Before he could do anything, Spyro had to visit Whirlwind again. The bandages had to be removed, then the wound had to be washed (pain, lots of pain) and bandaged again. He thanked his nurse and left to join Sunburn and Trigg. When he reached the gate, however, he was met with a surprise...

"What the hell?!" Spyro exclaimed.

"Spyro!" Trigg cried. "Hey, look who decided to show up!"

It was Kaos and Glumshanks- tied up. Glumshanks looked terrified, but it didn't seem to be because he was surrounded by Skylanders. And then there was Kaos, who- as usual -looked angry. But wait... was there some fear mixed into that expression. "Hello, Skyloser leader..." Kaos growled.

Spyro's reaction wasn't talking; it was shooting fire at Kaos' feet. **"What do you think you're doing here?!"** he roared.

"Ah!" Kaos scooted away from the flames as Sunburn put them out with his tail. "Simmer down. I'm not here to fight you, I'm here to... eh..."

"What?" Spyro stated firmly. He was clearly not in the mood for funny buissness.

Kaos was hesitating. Whatever he was attempting to say, he clearly didn't want to say it.

"Master, please," Glumshanks pleaded. "We can't afford to waste time."

Kaos sighed. "Fine. Whatever. I need your... h-he-hu... _assistance,_ Skylanders."

Surprise! The most evil and independent villain in all of Skylands was asking for help from his archenemies. The shock was certainly apparent on the Skylanders' faces. Wide eyes and dropped jaws (Trigger Happy's tongue was lolling out). "W-Wait, seriously?" Sunburn questioned. "You need our help?" Kaos nodded grimly. "Why?"

There was a short pause before Kaos responded. "It's Dark Spyro," he eventually said, a harsh tone coming to his voice. "It drove me away and burned my awesome castle to the ground. Won't listen do a thing I say.

Trigg gave you (yes, you) a sarcastic look. "You knew about this, didn't you?"

"Can't you make him self-destruct?" Spyro asked.

"Yeah, go boom!" Trigg added, turning his attention away from the reader (adios, fourth wall).

"Of course I could!" Kaos snapped. "But it destroyed my controller. There's nothing I can do..."

Spyro shook his head. "Untie them." he ordered.

"You trust them?" Sunburn challenged.

Spyro thought about this. He didn't think very long. "Yes," he replied. "Now untie them."

So they did.

Kaos stood up and dusted himself off. "Ugh, gave me a rope burn..." he muttered.

Glumshanks bowed to them rather formally. "We can't thank you enough, Spyro," he said.

Spyro smiled just a little. "Well, it is our job to protect Skylands from evil. And right now, Dark is the biggest threat."

Kaos snorted. "I'm a plenty big threat. I'm an **AWESOME** threat! And if you ask me, one 'thank you' is more than enough."

"Stealth Elf bows like that," Trigg pointed out.

"It's a Japanese thing," Sunburn replied.

"Glumshanks is Japanese?"

"He probably just studies the culture."

After asking Kaos and his butler a few questions about exactly what happened, Spyro turned back to his Skylanders. "Gather a few of the stronger Cores and bring them here. Pull them out of their classes if you have to. We need a battle plan."

Trigger Happy raised his hand.

"Seriously, don't do that. Just speak."

"What do you mean 'stronger cores?'" Trigg asked.

Spyro sighed. "The not-Swappers that kick ass."

"Oh. So elf girl and Whirlie?"

"Sure."

Sunburn and Trigger Happy stormed away in opposite directions. Kaos blinked, then slowly began inching backwards. "Yeah. So, uh... I'll be over here..."

Spyro quickly shot a menacing glare at him. "Oh no you don't. You got us into this, and you're going to help us get out."

Kaos cringed at the angered shine in Spyro's red eyes. Then he recalled that this was a Skylander, and he hissed, "You're not the boss of me, dragon!"

Glumshanks, knowing that it wasn't his place to get involved in this, took several paces back. Spyro unfolded his wings and stood as tall as he possibly could. Despite being taller than the dragon, Kaos still felt kind of small and helpless here. "As long as you're here," Spyro growled. "I _am_ the boss of you."

Kaos gaped for a moment, then looked away nervously. "Fine. Whatever," he grumbled. "But only because I want my castle back."

With this response, Spyro lightened up. "Good. Now, where are Sunburn and Trigger Happy?"

Glumshanks raised an eyebrow. "They only left a couple minutes ago..."

* * *

A long ways away, a few Trolls wearing Firemen Hats and holding hoses were putting out the last of the flames around Kastle Kaos, which Dark had promptly renamed "Dark Palace."

"Good job, Trolls!" Noodles shouted. "Put your equipment back where it belongs while I give a progress report to Lord Dark." The Trolls saluted as he marched away.

He pushed open the charred doors and entered the throne room. Bunches of Greebles were removing the burnt portraits of Kaos and painting murals of Dark in their place. "Lord Dark!" Noodles called as he approached his new master.

The throne turned, slowly and ominously, to reveal Dark Spyro sitting and looking rather bored. He was wearing a distinctly vampire-like cape. It had a bold collar, was black on the outside and red on the inside. "What is it servant?"

Noodles swallowed. There were rumors going around, saying that looking directly into Dark's eyes could kill you. Yes, this sounds like total baloney, but they did seem to be missing a few staff members. "I-I-I just wanted to g-give you a s-status report..." He was looking at Dark's mouth. "The T-Trolls have extinguished the last of your f-f-fire..."

Dark Spyro smirked. "Good, good..." he chuckled. "Now I can continue with my to-do list. **PIPSQUEAK!"**

The little cyclops ran into the throne room, carrying a piece of paper. He bowed, then handed the paper to his master. "The list, uh... your majesty."

Dark snatched the list. "Leave us."

"Of course, my lord."

Noodles watched intently as Dark produced a large pen from inside his cape and began reading from the list. "Let's see here... kick out Kaos, check. Put out the fire, check. Have a hot cup of coffee..." Noodles noticed a shattered mug on the ground next to the throne. "...check." The paper incinerated. "Now all I have to do is destroy the Skylanders."

"You'll, uh... need a plan, sir..." said Noodles.

Dark snarled at him. "You think I don't know that?"

Noodles choked. "N-N-No sir! I-I mean, yes sir! I-I-I mean... whatever the right answer is, s-sir!"

Dark's smirk became apparent again. "That's what I like to hear. Now, we'll have to get their attention... hm..." He snapped his fingers. ...claws. "Servant!"

"Yes, my lord!"

"Scatter troops all over Cloudbreak," Dark commanded.

Noodles raised an eyebrow. "Er, I beg your forgiveness for asking this, sire, but... why?"

"Because," Dark responded. "It's a _distraction._ Now when you're done with that, organize more powerful troops to confront-"

"The dragon?" Noodles guessed.

Dark frowned. "Spyro. Yes. Now go!"

Noodles saluted. "Yes, master!" And then he left.

* * *

It took almost an hour for Trigger Happy and Sunburn to return, which was a good thing in one way. It gave Spyro time to think. They had brought back some good choices- Terrafin, Jet-Vac, Gill Grunt, and Whirlwind (Stealth Elf was nowhere to be found). But they also brought a few questionable ones- Pop Fizz, Hot Dog, CountDown, Roller Brawl, the last of whom had been recruited only a few months prior. Spyro decided to wait a moment before addressing them. Glumshanks was conversing with Sunburn about tea and Kaos was making googly eyes at Roller Brawl. She obviously didn't like that.

Eventually Spyro silenced them. He explained Kaos' presence and what Dark had done. "Any ideas?" he asked asfter stating that they needed a batle plan.

"I say we just go there!" CountDown exclaimed. "Let's show 'em who's boss!"

Hot Dog shook his head. "Isn't that a bit straightforward? He could be expecting that. What if we wait for him to strike first?"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Terrafin growled. "Hot Dog, when was the last time you were even on a mission? I'm with CountDown. Let's just find him and punch him in the gut."

Kaos scowled as everybody (minus Whirlwind) started arguing loudly. "These fools seem pretty hopeless..." he muttered.

"They're not the best problem solvers," Spyro admitted.

Trigger Happy's ear twitched in response to the noise. He gritted his teeth and yelled, "SHUT UP!" That really did shut them up. "You people are so obnoxious! Can't you see that this is a matter of life and death?! Get along for five freaking minutes and come up with an _actual_ plan! Is that so much to ask?!"

Everybody blinked. Even Kaos knew that was an extremely out of character thing for Trigger Happy to do.

"Okay..." Spyro said. "Er, thanks, Trigg..."

Trigg flashed a toothy smile. "You're welcome!"

"Well, now that we've calmed down," Spyro continued. "who can come up with a plan that _won't_ start a flam war?"

"Does he even know what a flame war is?" Pop Fizz whispered to Roller Brawl, who shrugged.

Everybody seemed to be drawing a blank, either that or they were afraid that Trigg would scream at them again. It didn't really matter though, because moments later the meeting was inturrupted.

"Skylanders!" Tessa called, pushing her way through the crowd. She had volunteered to be messenger while Hot Dog was busy.

"Tessa?" Spyro questioned as the fox girl approached. "What's the matter?"

"Reports!" Tessa replied, frantically shoving papers into Spyro's hands. "Lots and lots of reports! Just look!"

Spyro sifted through the papers. "Iron Jaw Gulch? Mudwater Hollow? Oh come on, Fantasm Forest is on fire _again?!"_ He handed the reports back to Tessa. "Gill Grunt."

"Yessir?"

"Clean up, aisle Fantasm."

Gill Grunt nodded, understanding exactly what this meant. Kaos had set Fantasm Forest on fire on several occasions, and he was always the one to put it out. "Sure thing, Spyro!" The gillman casually hummed a tune to himself as he walked out the gate, like is ain't no thing.

"Tessa, have Sharpfin take Fryno to Iron Jaw Gulch to check out what's going on there."

Tessa bowed. "Of course."

"Does _everybody_ study Japanese culture?" Trigg questioned.

"Seems like," Sunburn replied.

Spyro turned back to Kaos. "Do you have another way to work the cloning machine besides that remote?"

"Ha! Of course not!" Kaos laughed. Then he froze. "Wait, I totally do." At least half of the people there fell over anime-style. "There's a dashboard that can control it as well, but even if it's still standing, there's no way Dark Spyro will let me anywhere near it."

Spyro nodded. "It's our only shot. Trigger Happy, I need you to go grab a jar."

"A jar?"

"A jar."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

"Okay then!"

"Alright team, listen up," Spyro called. "A few of you are going to be fixing up Cloudbreak, but the rest of us are going to Kastle Kaos. Or, whatever's left of it. I'll fill you in on the plan on the Dreadyacht. Any questions?"

Roller Brawl raised her hand.

Spyro sighed. "Yes, Roller Brawl?"

She pointed at Kaos. "Does he _have_ to be here?"

* * *

It wasn't long before the Dreadyacht was making it's way through the stormy clouds surrounding the dark side of Skylands. They had dropped off a few of the others on different islands, most notably CountDown, who had a thing or two to say about not being included on the real mission. Now there were only a few of them left. Despite this, there was still more than enough of them to follow through with Spyro's plan.

While Flynn rambled on with false tales of his heroics, Spyro kept his word and informed his party of the plan. However, he didn't give many details. At all. Terrafin got angry over this, but soon decided that it wasn't worth it. "It should only take me, Trigger Happy and Kaos to carry out Phase B," Spyro continued. "so Sunburn," The phoenix looked up. It appeared that he had been daydreaming. "I need you to lead Phase A, understood?"

Sunburn processed this, then started nodding furiously. "Of course! That's exactly what I'll do!"

Wow, Spyro is a pretty good leader," Glumshanks said. "Everybody respects him and follows his instruction without question."

"Oh please," Kaos rolled his eyes. "don't make me laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ahem. Too late. The only _real_ way to make your minions respect you is to demand respect! Strike fear into their wimpy little hearts!" He snorted. "I can _not_ believe that there is any evil in this loser dragon at all."

Glumshanks shook his head. "The way he looked at you earlier, I can."

"Hey, Skylanders! ...and Kaos," Flynn called. "We're just about there. Time to get your game faces on! BOOM!"

Kaos rushed to the edge of the airship to get a better view. "Yes, my castle is still here! Charcoaled, but still here!"

Spyro smiled. "Good! That means we have a chance. Trigger Happy, you got that jar?"

Trigg nodded and pulled off the yellow backpack he was wearing. There was a glass container with a brass lid inside. "Ready to go, Spyro!"

"Alright! Bring us down, Flynn!"

The pilot slowed down his ship. "We are now approaching Kastle Kaos, a seriously depressing place that has recently gotten new management!" He parked loudly a few yards away from the door. "Last stop, everybody off."

Pop Fizz peered over the railing. "Yep, those are guards if I've ever seen 'em." There were several different kinds of Trolls standing beside the double-doors, grumbling and pointing at the ship.

Sunburn flew onto the ground below. "Right. Pop Fizz! Terrafin! Roller Brawl! You're up."

"Woo-hoo! My first real mission!" Roller Brawl exclaimed when she leaped off of the Dreadyacht.

"I'd say that this is my five-hundredth." Terrafin cracked his knuckles. "Let's show her how it's done, Pop Fizz!"

Sunburn shook his head. "Not until I say." One of the Trolls shouted and charged at them, soon followed by the rest. "Okay. Go!"

Trigger Happy was gleefully mimicking Terrafin's punches as the three Skylanders took the Trolls head-on. "Ooh, sucker punch! Get em! Get em!"

Although Terrafin was seriously attempting to be the center of attention, Spyro was more intently watching Roller Brawl fight. "She's fast," he uttered. "and strong. Good, good. I knew we made the right choice recruiting her." He shook himself. "Trigg, Kaos. It's our turn."

"About time," Kaos grumbled.

"Already?" Trigg questioned. "Okay! Let's go!"

"W-Wait!" Glumshanks exclaimed, stopping Spyro when he started to leave. "What should I do?"

Spyro exchanged glances with Kaos, who obviously didn't care and followed Trigg off of the ship. "Um..." the dragon said. "You can be the lookout."

Glumshanks appeared to be somewhat disappointed, but more relieved that he wasn't doing anything dangerous. "Oh, okay Spyro." Then he pointed forward and shouted, "LOOK OUT!"

Spyro ducked as a missile hurdled over his head and crashed into one of the castle walls. "Huh," he gasped. "Missile Maulers. Thanks, Glumshanks."

He flashed a smile.

Spyro flapped his wings and glided over the chaos that was the fighting. Trigg and Kaos were waiting for him at the door. "This is completely ridiculous!" Kaos was growling. "These are _my_ minions! They should be obeying _me!"_

"Oh, relax!" Trigg said. "We'll get your stuff back! Just follow Spyro's plan!"

Kaos scowled. "It's annoying how cheerful you are."

Spyro landed next to them. "Alright, you two know the signal, right?" They nodded. He turned back to Sunburn, who was scorching a Trollverine. "You got this?" Spyro asked.

Sunburn nodded. "We'll be waiting for you out here."

Spyro smiled. "Then let's do this!" They pushed the doors open and stormed into the throne room. They were ambushed by a cyclops, which Trigger Happy shot in the face. Besides that, the room seemed to be completely empty. The Portal seemed to be totally calm, like it hadn't been used recently. Spyro glanced around, trying to find something, _anything_ that could give some clue as to where Dark could be. _Where are you?_ "Trigg," he said. "Can you smell him?"

"He smells the same as you," Trigg replied grimly.

"If he isn't here..." Kaos began.

But before he could continue, he was cut off by a loud voice echoing through the room. "Oh, I'm here," it boomed. "and quite frankly, I'm surprised that you are." It was Dark, alright, but the echo made it impossible to tell where he was. "I see that you didn't fall for my trap, Spyro. You must have become less gullible since my creation. If you want to know, I was planning on you leaving to confront my troops so I could burn down Woodburrow. Maybe kill a few of your friends in the process. Oh well." Spyro's lips curled back, but Dark continued before he could retort. "Please, you know the only useful ones are Sunburn and elf girl."

Spyro snapped. "Only useful ones?! Sunburn and Stealth Elf are two of the most powerful, sure, but not the _only useful ones!_ What about Whirlwind?"

"She's a decent healer," Dark admitted. "but powerful? Heh. She can save as many winter villages from eternal darkness as she wants, but that won't make her strong."

"What about Gill Grunt?" Spyro challenged.

"What does he do, put out wildfires? You could replace him with a fire extinguisher! Call me when his cannon can pierce steel."

"And Terrafin?"

"Rash. His anger controls his actions. Elf girl seriously needs to teach him meditation."

Spyro scowled. "What about Trigger Happy?"

There was a short pause. "Hmph. He's useless without those guns. All unarmed gremlins are useless."

A shadow swooped across the ceiling as Dark Spyro finally decided to reveal himself. He landed a few feet away from them directly in front of the Portal. He was still wearing the stupid cape. Trigg waved to him. "Hi, scary Spyro!"

Dark narrowed his eyes. "I just insulted you."

"So?"

Dark shook his head.

"You! **You!** " Kaos roared. Dark turned to him. "Not only did you kick me out of my own home, but you also ruined the walls with your ridiculous paintings _and_ raided my wardrobe! How dare you! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Dark still looked to be bored. "You have a lot of nerve coming back here." He smirked. "Though I should thank you. Now I can finish off you and Spyro. Kill two birds with one stone. In fact, I think I'll also get your team outside. **Guards!"**

At his beckoning call, four Goliath Drow emerged from the hallways. "Yes, Lord Dark," one of them growled.

"Oh, c'mon!" Kaos exclaimed.

"Take Kaos and Trigger Happy," Dark demanded, removing his cape. "I want Spyro all to myself."

"Funny," Spyro said. "I was just about to say the same thing."

They charged at each other, causing Trigger Happy to laugh. "He he! They're just like bulls."

"Ahem."

He looked up to see the Drow staring down at him. "Oh, hi!" he said. "Go do your part, Kaos. I'll take care of there guys." But Kaos had already fled to his station. "Oh. Well, I guess you're a step or two ahead of me." He pointed one of his guns at the Drow. "Okay! Ready! Fight now!"

Dark shot a raging blue fireball at Spyro, which he leaped right over. Spyro rammed into him and they locked horns with one another. "Huh," he choked, realizing that his stomach was bleeding again. "I never knew that my evil side was this... evil!"

His clone chuckled and slammed Spyro onto his side. "Heh. I got all of the power and none of the remorse."

Spyro got back onto his feet and shook himself off. "I don't doubt it," he grumbled. "Hey, would you hate me if I quoted Terrafin?"

"I already hate you." Dark looked at him suspiciously.

"No harm done, then!" Spyro grinned. He bounded over to Dark and took a position like a dog that wants to play. "Okay, here I go..." Dark was confused. "'Hey, are you hungry?'" He had lowered his voice to sound more like Terrafin. "'Here, have a knuckle sandwich!'" When he least expected it, Spyro punched Dark in the jaw.

It was hilarious.

Dark roared. "What the %$ &?!" Spyro was still laughing. "Since when do you fight dirty?!"

Spyro snickered. "I saw Terrafin pull a similar stunt on one of your guards. I figured that it would, well, catch you off guard!"

Dark rubbed his jawbone. "It worked. But don't think I'll fall for something stupid again!"

Spyro tackled him. They tumbled across the floor until he managed to pin Dark. "I don't know about that," Spyro said. "I think you just might."

With a glare, Dark thrashed his tail and hit Spyro's injury. He slithered out from under him when he reeled back. "Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that there's a gaping flesh wound in your belly. All I've got it a bite mark from that annoying Trigger Happy."

Spyro looked up. It was true, there was red, still bleeding wound on one of Dark's front legs. "Heh heh... speaking of 'that annoying Trigger Happy,' looks like your guards aren't doing so good over there."

"Eh?"

Trigg had already knocked out one of the Goliath Drow and was making quick work of the other three. He was too quick for them to catch him, and could blast them from afar.

"Ugh..." Dark grumbled. **"HEY! There's a weak point on his left ear!"**

Spyro cringed. _Dang it, I forgot! He knows everything that I know._

A Drow swung at Trigger Happy, but the little gremlin did a back flip to skillfully avoid it. "He he! Can't catch me!" Then another Drow grabbed him from behind. "Oof. Okay, maybe you can."

"Little brat..."

"What's in his backpack?"

"Tug his ear! Tug it!"

The Drow that caught him squeezed his ear and pulled on it. Trigg wailed. "Ooh! Ow! Owie! H-Hey Kaos, could you hurry up over there?"

"Silence, fool!" Kaos snapped. "You're distracting me!" He was standing in front of a dashboard built into the wall. "Ugh, why did I not label these?!" There were a _lot_ of buttons and levers, and nothing that even hinted at what they did. "Hm... maybe this one?" He pressed a shiny green button that caused a large ray gun to emerge from the ceiling. "No, it definitely was _not_ that one. Maybe it will go away if I press it again...?" Nope! Pressing it again caused the ray to fire out of control in all directions. "Oh for crying out loud..."

"Hey, grab that guy too!" one of the Drow said. Before he could say "Skylosers," Kaos was being held in the air by his cape.

"Let me go! Put me down this instant!" the Portal Master cried.

"Sorry, Old Master," the Drow appologized. "We only listen to New Master now."

Kaos grumbled, only then for the ray gun to shoot the Drow in the back of the head. After it dropped him, Kaos scrambled back over to the dashboard. He pressed buttons frantically until the firing seized and the ray was back in the ceiling. He gave a sigh of relief. "Alright, forty-third time's the charm..." He pressed a red button, which he believed to be the only one he hadn't tried. Eureka! The Portal lowered into the floor and the cloning machine rose up in his place. "Yes! Finally!" he exclaimed. "Skyloser lea- I mean, Spyro! I got it!"

Spyro stood back up and nodded to him. "Hey, Dark Me!" Dark grumpily turned back to his original. Spyro spread his wings and took flight, soaring in circles above Dark. "I bet I'm faster than you!"

Dark clenched his teeth and followed him into the air. "That's impossible."

"Is it?" Things were going just as planned. Toying with the enemy isn't something that Spyro would normally do, but there wasn't much of a choice here. Spyro swooped down and Dark nearly crashed into a wall. "I bet I'm smarter than you!"

Dark growled. "That's also impossible."

"Oh yeah? What's the square root of 62549736?"

Dark blinked and started counting on his fingers. "Er, carry the four... Hey, wait a second! There's no way you know that!"

Spyro shrugged.

"You're really starting to get on my nerves." Dark threw himself into Spyro and set fire to his bandages. The hero was only narrowly able to escape, but he crashed into the ground next to the cloning device in the process. Dark landed on the other side and Spyro tore off his bandages, leaving his wound exposed. "After I kill you," Dark said. "there'll be nobody left to stand in my way. I'll be free to rule Skylands with an iron claw! Maybe I'll change it's name to 'Darklands.' Sounds better, doesn't it?"

Spyro didn't react with wails and begs for mercy like Dark had expected. No, he was laughing. "You really think you can just take over Skylands?"

Dark raised an eyebrow. "Well, yeah! I mean, you're pretty much at my mercy here. What could you possibly do to stop me?"

"Well, I'm not sure if _I_ can stop you," Spyro admitted. "but there are plenty of other people out there who could. I mean, you're unbalanced!"

Dark scowled. "What do you mean, 'unbalanced?'"

Spyro rolled his eyes. "I mean you're unbalanced! There's literally no good inside of you. You're pure evil. Even Kaos has a good side, I've seen it personally!" He smiled. "Trust me, that unbalance will be your downfall."

"Downfall?!" Dark roared. "Let me tell you something, I'm not going to have a downfall. I'm going to rule this world until the end of time, and nobody can stop me!" He leaped onto the cloning device's platform in order to seem more dramatic. "Not even you."

Spyro smirked. He flicked his tail- the signal. Seeing this, Kaos pulled one of the levers on the dashboard. In mere moments, Dark's feet were strapped to the platform. He cringed. "$&%#, I can't believe I didn't see that coming."

Spyro pushed himself back to his feet and brushed himself off. He was only pretending to be defeated. "Yeah, even though I had that experience, _you_ didn't. It was easy to lure you here. Hm... learn from your mistakes, I guess."

Trigger Happy struggled out of the Drow's grip and jumped to the top of one of the spikes on the machine.

"All set, Trigg?" Spyro called.

Trigg pulled the jar out of his bag and unscrewed the lid. He gave a thumbs-up. "Yep! All set!"

Dark tried to escape, but his efforts proved to be fruitless. He shouted and shot fire into the air, which Spyro was able to put out by countering with his own flames before it could hit anything. "Argh! You think you can get rid of me just like this?! What do you plan on doing, torturing me? Ha! You could never!"

Spyro shook his head. "You're right, I couldn't."

"Then what is it?!"

"You'll see. Let a rip, Kaos!"

Kaos pulled down another lever and that same violet electricity from before was let loose on Dark. But, it seemed to have a different effect on him. He cried out at a black mist started to emerge from his body- it was vaporizing him. "Y-You..." he managed to say through the agony. "You think that this is over. Heh heh heh... this is only the beginning. I'll return... **I'll return!** " More and more of the black mist rose up into the air, and Trigg carefully collected it into his jar. Soon, the screams faded.

Dark Spyro was no more.

With a smile, Trigger Happy popped the lid back on the jar and slid it back into his pack. He jumped down and gave Spyro a high five. "Now that's what I call a _Wakka-_ _ **POW!"**_ he cheered. "Y'know, even if we didn't actually hit him."

"Yeah, I get it, Trigg," Spyro assured him. "Nice job, buddy."

Kaos grumbled as he scooped Dark's cape off of the floor. "Yes, yes, everything's just fine and dandy..." He put the cape on and turned back to them. "Now, get out of _my_ castle or meet a doom even more horrifyingly terrible than anything Dark Spyro could have dished out!"

The remaining Drow stomped over to Spyro and Trigg and looked down upon them menacingly. Spyro sighed. "Alright, c'mon Trigg," he started towards the doors, his gremlin friend sticking right behind him. "I have to go see Whirlwind again."

* * *

In the vault below Woodburrow, in an extremely secret containment unit, Trigger Happy was setting Dark's remains on a pedestal. He grinned and hopped out of the unit to join Spyro and Sunburn. Spyro inputted a four digit code and the unit closed up. "That was a pretty good plan, Spyro!" Sunburn praised. "But... how did you know that blasting him with the cloning machine would vaporize him?"

Spyro flashed a smile. "I didn't!" he replied.

Sunburn fell over. "W-W-Wait, r-really? You risked to safety of all Skylands over some unproven theory?!"

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Spyro chuckled. "I wasn't sure if it would vaporize or incinerate him, but I figured it would be one of the two."

"So what do we do now, Spyro?" Trigg asked.

Spyro cocked his head. "Hm... Dark might have sent troops to more islands than just the ones that sent reports. Let's hold a meeting. Sunburn, I want you to make sure that Stealth Elf is there. It's been a while since she did something besides participate in a border patrol."

"Or get captured," Trigg pointed out.

Sunburn stared at his feet. "Stealth Elf. Right. Okay, I'll go look for her."

"What if she's invisible?" Trigg asked.

"I'll listen for her."

Spyro and Trigger Happy locked the vault and returned back to Woodburrow. "Let's get everybody together, Trigg," Spyro said. "I don't want a single Skylander missing."

Before Trigg could respond, their talk was cut off by Roller Brawl and Pop Fizz. "Spyro! Spyro!" Fizz called.

Spyro sighed. "Can't I just carry out a conversation without getting interrupted...?"

"This is important, Spyro," Roller Brawl assured him. "It's Fryno, he came back from Iron Jaw Gulch."

"So?" Trigg raised an eyebrow.

 _"So,"_ Pop Fizz said. "He brought back a _kid_ with him!"

Spyro and Trigg's eyes widened. "A kid?"

"A kid!"

"What kind of kid?" Spyro asked.

Pop Fizz and Roller Brawl exchanged glances. "Uh, it's a boy," Roller Brawl said.

"Yeah, and a gremlin!" Fizz added.

Trigg's eyes lit up. "A gremlin kid? Ooh! Spyro, let's go see him!"

"Uh, T-Trigg..." He was already gone. Spyro facepalmed. "Okay, I guess we're going to go see him."

As they left the underhollow, what they didn't notice was a black mist blowing in the wind above them...

 **To be continued...**

* * *

|| Hey, this chapter isn't actually that bad. The pacing is decent, and Spyro comes up with a decent plan to defeat Dark. Not bad at all.

Eh, I think I'll let you guys form your own opinions on this one. This story is really walking the fine line between good and bad, so I think that it's subjective. Personally, I think that this story is just as garbage as the three before it, but that's probably mostly because I'm the one who wrote it, and I know that I could do a lot better now.

Next time: _Sunburn and Stealth Elf!_ ||


	24. The Birth of Dark Spyro: Credits

|| You can choose which one is which. ||

* * *

 **THIS HAS BEEN SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: THE BIRTH OF DARK SPYRO, STARRING:**

 **ASRIEL DREEMURR  
**

 **MAVERICK CHAOSDRAGON**

 **SONIC THE HEDGEHOG**

 **SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG**

 **LINK**

 **SHADOW LINK**

 **AND I CAN'T COME UP WITH ANY MORE JOKES THAT WOULDN'T BE RECYCLED**

* * *

 **Here's what people have been saying about _Skylanders Short Stories: The Birth of Dark Spyro..._  
**

 _"Interesting. This does seem ominous, even if the title is totally self-explanatory. And the tablet version is exciting, but I'm a little worried about data usage. As it, it might take way too much. Yes, Sunburn, you are always in charge. | Interesting. This chapter came out well. And is this gonna turn into a Duskwort-like situation? | Awesome. Seriously, that was interesting, but Dark Spyro is acting, well, strangely. Who is he, Dekker/Juuzou? "I want the ultimate fight with the strongest warrior in existence. Insert Samurai Red Ranger, ShinkenRed or Spyro here," Forgive my Power Rangers/Super Sentai talk. Anyway, this was awesome. Keep writing! | And anyway. Good chapter. Liked the length, as well as the admittedly rather short plotline of Kaos/Skylander aliiance. Is it just me, or did Spyro fighting Dark Spyro, in terms of attitudes, remind me of Sonic and Eggman? Eh, maybe not. Keep writing! :)"_ -Technow

 _"Wait, that's it? You're just going to leave it here? Well, I can't say that it doesn't make sense. Suppose there's a reason why this is called The BIRTH of Dark Spyro."_ -Magicanus

 _"Original the Character. Do not steal."_ -Dark Spyro

 _"Well, it took a while, but I'm super glad you're back. (And I will definitely PM the crap out of you) Your writing keeps getting better and better with each story. Keep it up dude!"_ -RaptorFeet21

 _""The not-Swappers that kick ass."_  
 _"Oh. So elf girl and Whirlie?" (So funny) |_  
 _Trigger Happy's ear twitched in response to the noise. He gritted his teeth and yelled, "SHUT UP!" That really did shut them up. "You people are so obnoxious! Can't you see that this is a matter of life and death?! Get along for five freaking minutes and come up with an actual plan! Is that so much to ask?!"_  
 _Everybody blinked. Even Kaos knew that was an extremely out of character thing for Trigger Happy to do._  
 _"Okay..." Spyro said. "Er, thanks, Trigg..."_  
 _Trigg flashed a toothy smile. "You're welcome!" (I mean since when is trigger serious so hillarious good job em)"_ -Guest

 _"This is one of the best Skylander fanfics on here. But I'm just curious how Kaos escaped the clenched of that monster to work the machine._  
 _Looking far ward to the next one"_ -Guest

* * *

 **Original Credits Song:** _"Paint it Black"_ by The Rolling Stones

 **Next Time on Ask Spyro and Company:** Hey Sunburn, what was that about "that's a story for another time?"

* * *

|| You didn't PM the crap out of me, RaptorFeet. What has been lost can not be returned... Oh well, we have a reboot now anyway.

Speaking of which, and I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet: the first entry into the reboot is _Skylanders Short Stories: The Legend of Spyro._ Go ahead and check it out if you're interested and haven't already! ||


	25. Sunburn and Stealth Elf: 1

|| Heyo! Welcome to the fifth installment in the Skylanders Short Stories series, which has been discontinued and rebooted. This one is called _"Sunburn and Stealth Elf"._ On-point title right there. A little _too_ on point. ...Why the hell did I make the _fifth_ story in this series a _prequel?_ I mean, okay, it was meant to be a wind-down between _The Birth of Dark Spyro_ and _Sidekicks._ That would have been fine if there had been some sort of huge over-arcing subplot leading up to _The Birth of Dark Spyro,_ which there _sort of_ was, but... there were only three stories before it. Ugh, whatever. ||

* * *

 **SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SUNBURN AND STEALTH ELF**

 _October 2014 - February 2015_

Sunburn is fun-loving and arrogant. Stealth Elf is serious and uptight. When these polar opposites are paired up for what could quite possibly be the most important mission in Skylanders history, what will happen? Will Sunburn drive Stealth to the brink of insanity? Or... will this adventure lead to something more?

 **Chapter One**

"Stealth Elf? Hey, Stealth Elf!"

Whirlwind was bounding about the yards outside Master Eon's citadel. Judging by her calls, she was looking for Stealth Elf, the newest recruit to the Skylanders. She had only been on one mission thus far, and it was alongside Whirlwind. The unicorn hybrid was the only friend she had made. At least, the only one she knew about. Whirl turned her head in several different directions. "Not in the building, not in the courtyard, not on the beach... Where are you, Stealth Elf?"

She caught the eye of Trigger Happy, one of the original three Skylanders, who dashed over to her and said, "Hey, Whirlie! What's up?"

Whirl sighed. "Nothing, really. Just trying to find Stealth Elf."

Trigg blinked. "Who's Stealth Elf?"

The girl shook her head. "The new girl. I went on a mission with her the other day!" Trigger Happy still didn't know who she was talking about. "The forest elf girl with the mask."

"Oh, _that_ Stealth Elf!" Trigg exclaimed. "Couldn't remember her name."

Whirlwind shook her head. "Yeah, you never remember the girls' names. I know you couldn't remember mine when I first joined."

Trigg laughed. "He he! I'm just bad with names, don't think I have anything against girls!"

"You better not." Whirl glared at him playfully. "I'll talk to you later, Trigg."

"Hasta la bye-bye, Whirlie!"

Whirlwind left him and approached the grove of trees not far from the Core of Light. "If I was raised by an Ent in Treetop Terrace," she said to herself. "this is where I would be." She narrowed her eyes to get a better look at the woods. "Let's see here..." She nearly missed it, but a shadow swooped between the treetops, barely making a sound. "Ah ha! There you are!"

Stealth Elf was indeed the shadow in the trees, leaping from branch to branch. Eventually she stopped and took a good look at the ground below. Seeing that there was nobody down there, she jumped off and sat down at the base of the tree. It was bright and early in the morning, but she was sort of nocturnal. You could tell from her droopy eyes that she had been awake all night, and probably figured that she could finally sleep. Oh, how wrong she was.

"Hey, Stealth Elf!" Whirlwind hopped out of the brush without warning, startling Stealth and causing her to fall over. "Oops, sorry. I figured you would have heard me coming."

Stealth sat back up and rubbed her head. "So did I..." she grumbled. "How did you do that?"

Whirl shrugged. "Uh, don't know! I know you have strong senses, I really did think you would have heard or smelled me."

"I do not think I would have been able to smell you with my nose covered by this mask."

"You know what I mean," Whirl said. "By the way, why don't you use contractions?"

Stealth looked at her blankly. "What is a 'contraction?'"

Whirl blinked. "Oh boy. I'll explain that some other time, if somebody else doesn't get to it first."

After deciding that wondering about what Whirlwind had said was hurting her brain, Stealth Elf settled back down and closed her eyes. "Why are you here, Whirlwind?'

Whirl tilted her head. "What do you mean, 'why am I here?' Is there something wrong with just wanting to talk to you?"

Stealth opened her eyes. "Nobody has ever wanted to talk to me before... nobody with good intentions."

"Really?" Whirl questioned. "Nobody at all?"

Stealth paused. "Well... my Master..." She sniffled.

Whirl set a paw on her friend's back. "Let's not talk about that, sweetie. Too soon."

Stealth nodded, rubbing her eyes. "Too soon..." she parroted. "You know... I don't think I've ever met anybody else my age..."

Whirl smiled faintly. "Actually, I'm a little older than you. Supposedly, since you don't know your own birth date." Stealth's ears drooped. "Er, let's stop talking about the depressing stuff!"

"There is a lot of depressing stuff."

"I know, sweetie."

Stealth tried to think of something that wouldn't work herself up. It took a while, but eventually she said, "I think you are the first girl I have ever met."

Whirl couldn't help but laugh. "Wait, really? I know you grew up in a forest, but you were really the only girl there?" Stealth nodded again. "Dang." She wrapped her tail around Stealth's waist affectionately. "Well, now you know another girl who you can talk to about girl things."

Before Stealth had the chance to ask what she meant by "girl things," they got a surprise visit. **"Heyo!"**...from Trigger Happy, who appeared in a tree branch, hanging by his legs. Stealth yelped and fell over into Whirlwind.

"Oof. ...until he shows up." Whirl pushed Stealth Elf off of her. "Trigg, did you follow me?"

"Maybe." He fell out of the tree and on his head, then stood back up completely unfazed. "Hey there, uh... elf girl."

"'Stealth Elf,'" Whirl reminded him.

"Yeah, I'm sticking with 'elf girl.' Hey, it's a nice bright morning! Who wants bacon and eggs?"

"I am a vegetarian," Stealth declared.

"Thanks anyway, Trigg," Whirlwind said.

Trigger Happy shrugged. "Hey, I can make a vegetarian breakfast! Anybody up for toast?"

Stealth turned back to Whirlwind. "What is 'toast?'"

Whirl facepalmed. "Poor, ignorant, grew-up-isolated-from-technology Stealth Elf..."

"What is 'isolated?'"

Trigg frowned. "And, apparently, three syllable words."

Stealth's ears drooped again. "What is a 'syllable?'"

"We need to get you into a school," Whirlwind laughed. "but not right now. It's not that important."

"Hm..."

Trigg scratched his head. "I'm pretty sure there was something I'm supposed to tell you... oh yeah! Master Eon is lookin' for ya, elf girl!"

"Eon?" Stealth asked.

Trigg nodded. "He should be just outside the citadel. I bet he's gonna give you your first assignment!"

"Yeah, technically we weren't 'assigned' that one mission the other day," Whirlwind noted. "Won't that be fun?"

Stealth shrugged. "Mm. Maybe."

Whirl and Trigg pulled her to her feet and pushed her towards the citadel. "Okay, go get a mission!" Trigg encouraged. "Go go go!"

"We'll be right here when you get back!" Whirl told her.

Stealth sighed. "What does this place have against sleep...?" She walked grumpily in the direction that they had pointed her. A few of the Skylanders waved to her and said hello, except for Chop Chop, who glared at her angrily (she did the same).

"Ah, Stealth Elf!" Master Eon greeted her when she arrived. "How are you doing this fine morning?"

"I am tired," Stealth growled. "Trigger Happy said that you wanted to see me."

"Ah, yes." Eon nodded. "You see, I have decided to give you your first assignment."

Her eyes widened. "Really?" she asked. _I thought they were kidding around._ "Um... what is it?"

Eon knelt down. Forest elves are... short. "Well, it's a very important mission, and since you've only been a Skylander for several days, I'm going to assign you a partner."

Stealth narrowed her eyes. "It is not the skeleton with the sword, is it?"

Eon chuckled. "No, it isn't Chop Chop. It's... oh, here he comes now!"

"He-e-e-ey, Stealth Elf!"

Stealth cringed. "H-He is almost as bad as the skeleton with the sword!"

Her partner was Sunburn.

* * *

On the far side of Skylands, a flying palace strolled through the air. But this wasn't just any flying palace, no... this flying palace belonged to the most evil dictator in the world: Kaos.

"I just can't stand this anymore, Glumshanks!" Kaos roared. Like usual, he was complaining to his butler about how many times he gets defeated. "That miserable _Loser Eon_ has been stopping evildoers for centuries! Ceturies, Glumshanks! Even I- **Kaos!** -can't bring an end to this madness!" He turned to face the troll, who was drinking a cup of tea and sitting in an armchair. "Allow me to ask you, why is it that Eon always completely and utterly humiliates your magnificent leader?"

Glumshanks set down his cup on the plate he was holding. "I think you do it to yourself..." he muttered.

Kaos frowned. "Wrong answer," he growled. "I'll tell you why. It's because of those stupid Skylanders! They're the ones that Eon sends to do his dirty work." He smirked. "But, what would happen if he didn't have those Skylanders to do things for him?"

Glumshanks shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not bother us. Er, you."

"No!' the Dark Portal Master snapped. "Well, maybe. But more importantly, he wouldn't be able to stand in my way! There would be nobody left to stop me from taking over Skylands! So, I've devised a plan so fiendishly perfect... that I didn't consult anybody before starting it."

The butler shook his head. "I see. This outta be good." He set his cup down on a coffee table and stood up. "Alright sir, what is this brilliant, fool-proof plan of yours?"

Kaos smiled a toothy, evil smile. "Kidnap the Skylanders."

* * *

|| Oh my _god._ Okay, okay. This entry is of _much_ higher quality than the previous four. _However..._ this dialogue is _garbage!_ Oh my _god!_

Wow, this... this chapter ended on a double-cliffhanger. Cool.

And hey, Whirlwind and Stealth Elf have a really cute friendship! Have I mentioned that I really like Whirlwind and Stealth Elf's friendship? ||


	26. Sunburn and Stealth Elf: 2

|| And here we have chapter 2 of Sunburn and Stealth Elf, AKA "the part where I forgot what I was gonna say". ||

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Glumshanks was surprised, to say the least. It wasn't very often that Kaos had a decent plan (decent meaning anything that wouldn't end in him exploding) but this seemed a little more like it could actually work than normal. "Really?" he asked. "Kidnap all of the Skylanders! How are you going to do that?"

Kaos chuckled. "Please, Glumshanks! I already have."

The troll's eyes widened as his master walked towards the set of stairs that lead to the dungeon. "W-Wait, seriously?" He followed Kaos down the stairs. "You've already caught _all_ of the Skylanders?"

"Well, not all of them," Kaos responded. "A few of them! But the rest will come soon." He approached an electric gate and punched a code into a padlock. Inside the gate were thirty-two capsules built into the wall, color coded to represent that there were four per element. The names of each Skylander were written above the capsules. "I did some research, and built these capsules specifically to contain each individual Skylander."

Glumshanks examined the wall. Several of the Skylanders had already been miraculous caught- Prism Break, Wham-Shell, Ghost Roaster, and Sonic Boom. They were laying around and looking extremely bored, exceept for Ghost Roaster, who was etching his recipes into the wall with his finger. "Wow!" Glumshanks exclaimed. "I'm surprised you caught even one of them."

"So are we," Wham-Shell growled.

 **"Hey!"** Kaos snapped. "No speaking unless spoken to!" Wham-Shell rolled his eyes and mimicked Kaos' mouth movements with his hand. Kaos stuck his tongue out.

"So they really can't escape?" Glumshanks asked.

Kaos shook his head. "Nope! Here, observe." He pulled a rock out of his cloak and chucked it at Ghost Roaster's capsules. **"Hey, ugly!"** Roaster growled and turned around to face them. **"You wanna piece of me?! Come on!"** Roaster shook his head and turned back to the wall.

Glumshanks stroked his chin. "Try insulting his cooking," he whispered.

Kaos nodded. **"Hey! I've tried your casserole! It tastes like play-dough!"**

Roaster's finger twitched. Fuming, he whirled around and transformed into his ectoplasm mode. But he couldn't pass through the glass. Wham-Shell facepalmed, Prism Break stared at the ground, and I think Sonic Boom was asleep. "Very impressive!" Glumshanks praised his master. "All of these are built specifically to be immune to their powers?"

"Exactly." Kaos nodded. "I think I built an extra capsule in the Life element, though."

"Actually, I believe they just recruited a new Life element a couple days ago."

"Eh?" Kaos questioned. "Is it dangerous? Does it have powers? Should I rebuild the capsule?"

Glumshanks shook his head. "I'm pretty sure it just carries weapons."

"You mean Stealth Elf," Prism Break said. "Yeah. Take away her daggers and she's harmless."

 **"Prism Break!"** the Skylanders exclaimed.

He shrugged. "What? He would have figured it out anyway."

"Right you are, foolish prisoner," Kaos cackled. "Alright Glumshanks, if any of the Skylanders stray even two feet away from Eon's island, I want to know. It's too risky to send troops there to nab them all at once. Oh, and Glumshanks?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Get me a cappuccino!"

Glumshanks frowned. "But sir, we don't have any coffee-"

 **"I don't care! Get some!"**

Wham-Shell watched the butler scurry out of the room. "Heh, glad we don't work for him."

 **"No speaking unless spoken to!"**

* * *

Sunburn flashed a smile. "Hey, haven't seen you in a couple days," he said. "What have you been up to, Stealth Elf?"

Stealth glared at him. "Why do you care?" She hit herself on the forehead when the phoenix shrugged arrogantly. "Why is it him?" she asked Master Eon. "Can it be anybody else?" She sighed. "Why do I even need a partner for this mission."

"Well, like I said," Eon replied. "this is your first assignment, and it's very important."

Sunburn cocked his head. "Yeah, about that. Could you tell us what it is?"

Eon nodded. "Of course, Sunburn. Now you may have noticed, but a few of the Skylanders have gone missing on their most recent mission."

Stealth raised an eyebrow, but Sunburn immediately spat, "Kaos."

"That would be my assumption," Eon responded. "So, I want the two of you to investigate. Together." He beamed down at Stealth Elf. "Now I understand that you have trouble trusting the others, but you need to learn to make friends. You must know why I did this, child."

Stealth crossed her arms. "I guess..."

"C'mon, Stealth Elf!" Sunburn wrapped an arm around his new partner. "We're gonna have a grand ol' time! Just you and me!"

Stealth's eye twitched and she punched him in the face. "Do. Not. Touch me."

Eon smiled weakly. "Yes, you should keep an eye on her, Sunburn."

"Yeah, without dying..." he grumbled. He got back on his feet and shook the dirt out of his feathers. "This might have a rocky start, but I'm pretty sure it will end well. You can count on me, Master Eon."

"Very good. I expect to see both of you in one piece when you return."

Sunburn blinked. "Uh-huh. Not making any promises." Eon chuckled at this, even though it was very likely that Sunburn wasn't joking. "Come on, Stealth! Let's go grab a ship from Flynn."

Stealth followed him reluctantly. Then she realized something. "Um, who is Flynn?"

"Ha! Damn, you really haven't met Flynn yet?" Stealth shook her head. "Well, you're about to. He's our pilot. Takes us on most of our missions. Personality-wise, he's like me, but about a trillion times more cocky."

"Great." Stealth would have rolled her eyes if she was capable of doing so. "Do any of the boys here take their job seriously?"

Sunburn laughed. "I'll tell you what, Chop Chop takes things a little _too_ seriously. Since you tried to assassinate Master Eon, the guy's convinced that you're a Drow." They both went silent. Sunburn noticed what he had said wrong and quickly stated. "Oh c'mon, you're not still upset about that, are you? You were forced to do it. That Splinter guy would have burned down the entirety of Treetop Terrace if you didn't. Besides, he's dead now!"

"Mm..."

"Hey, I get it. You're having a tough week! All Skylanders have their tough week. But... well, if we didn't have our tough weeks, we wouldn't all be friends!"

Stealth Elf was silent.

Sunburn chuckled. "Oh please, I know you at _least_ like Whirlwind. Don't try to deny it."

"Hey, Sunburn!" That call came from Flynn, who had been reading a magazine called "All about you." "What brings you here? Come to see ol' Captain Flynn at his best?"

Sunburn looked at the ground and shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Uh, no," he replied. "Actually, we need a ship for our mission."

Flynn noticed Stealth Elf, standing impatiently behind Sunburn. "Oh, hey! You must be Stealth Elf!" He extended his hand. "Put 'er there!"

Stealth stared at his hand in confusion. This time Sunburn did laugh. "I don't think she knows what you want her to do."

The Mabu withdrew his hand. "Alrighty then. What's up with her?"

"Tough week," Sunburn replied.

"Ah, still that, huh?"

"Yeah, they usually last... a week! And it's only Friday."

"Mm-hm. Well, I wouldn't know what that's like." He flexed his arm. "Captain Flynn doesn't have tough weeks. Heh, I've never even had a bad hair day!" Stealth shook her head. "So, has she met any of the others yet?"

"Just me, Whirlwind, Trigger Happy..." Sunburn was straining his brain trying to remember. "I think Camo, and Master Eon... and Chop Chop."

"Ha! Wasn't he booing at her initiation?"

"Yep, that was him alright."

Flynn chuckled. "That guy needs to lighten up, seriously. I'll get you two a ship."

Sunburn watched him leave, then turned back to Stealth Elf. "You're quiet."

"There is no reason to speak," she said.

The hybrid shook his head. "Oh, you have some stuff to learn, don't you? If you don't talk to people they're gonna think you're a total bummer."

"I do not understand."

Sunburn crossed his eyes as he tried to wrap his head around this situation. "Okay. If you talk to people, they'll like you. If you don't talk to people, they'll act like Chop Chop. Got it?"

Stealth nodded. "I guess..."

"Okay, got yer ship, Sunburn!" Flynn called.

"We'll be right there! Come on, Stealth. I'm gonna teach you how to fly!"

"Great..."

* * *

|| No, really. The original author's note there was just me saying that I forgot what I was gonna say. Then in the bottom author's note I signal boosted a story called _"These Daggers Against My Fingertips"_ by Paranoixa... which I just reread, and it's still as good as I remember it being. Give it a look.

Eh heh heh, Sunburn and Stealth Elf on a ship... Get it? _Do you get it?!_

 _Oh my god, I did the chapter-label thing again..._ ||


	27. Sunburn and Stealth Elf: 3

|| And here we have chapter 3 of Sunburn and Stealth Elf, AKA "the part where the ship sails". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

"So many Skylanders, so little time..." Kaos was observing a pair of cyclops forcing Boomer into one of the cells. It took a while, but eventually they got him in there. The other Skylanders groaned upon seeing another one of their friends caught. It had been only a few hours since Kaos had introduced his newest plot to Glumshanks, but his minions had captured several Skylanders since. "Oh, this is too good. I'm making progress so quickly!"

One of the cyclops handed the bag that they had confiscated from Boomer to the Dark Portal Master. "This is everything it was carrying," it told him.

Kaos peered into the bag. "That's a lot of dynamite." He shoved it back into the cyclops' hands. "Take it to the explosives vault."

"Yessir."

When the two cyclops had left, Kaos looked up at his wall of prisoners triumphantly. "Let's see here... thirty-two minus thirteen equals nineteen." He smirked. "It won't be long now."

"What do you plan on doing to us?" Bash growled.

"Leaving you in there to rot, what else?" Kaos replied. "Unless I can master mind control, it's not safe to have you Skylosers anywhere else."

Zap whimpered. "Are you at least going to feed us?"

Kaos cackled. "Ha! Of course not!"

"Lord Kaos!" Glumshanks called through the enraged complaints. "The radar picked up that more of the Skylanders have left Eon's Citadel."

Kaos nodded. "Tell me."

"Well, three of them left for Leviathan Lagoon..."

"Send the Pirate Greebles."

"...one of them is in the underworld..."

"Some Arkeyans will make quick work of them."

"...and two of them left in a small airship."

"Have the Troll fleet deal with them."

Glumshanks bowed. "Yes, Lord Kaos. I'll get right on it."

The troll went out to follow through with his master's demands. Kaos glanced back up at the wall. "You hear that? More of your little friends are coming to join you!" He started counting on his fingers when his captives broke into a riot. "Nineteen minus six equals thirteen. They make it too easy."

* * *

The airship that Flynn left to Sunburn was absolutely tiny, but considering that it was just him and Stealth Elf, it was just the right size. While Sunburn steered the ship, Stealth was sitting in the corner, fiddling with a piece of wood. It looked like she was trying to carve it into the shape of a Stump Dog, but she was so terrible at it that you could barely tell. They were flying approaching two large islands, heading in the direction of Kaos' fortress. Sunburn had tried making conversation several times, but Stealth only replied with muffled grunts, so he gave up.

For a while, the only sound was the airship's propellers. Then Sunburn decided to ask, "What was it like?"

Stealth paused and glanced up at him. "What?"

"In Treetop Terrace," Sunburn replied. "What was it like in Treetop Terrace?"

Stealth was surprised that Sunburn had said something that wasn't about himself, or how he thought that her hair looked nice. "Well," she said. "There are a lot of trees there. Most of them are really big, but some of them are smaller. But it is not just trees there. There are a lot of other plants, too." For some reason, it seemed like Sunburn was genuinely listening to her. "Most of the ground there is covered in grass, but some of it is bare dirt. I like the grass... more than the grass at your, um, what is it called?"

"The Citadel."

"Yes, that. The grass there is not as nice. I do not know why exactly... hm. Uh, there are also watering holes, mostly small, but there is one larger by the Tree of Life."

"Ah, the Tree of Life." Sunburn smiled. "Camo won't shut up about that. What's it like?"

"The Tree of Life is the center of all life in Treetop Terrace," Stealth replied.

"That's kind of obvious."

She shot a glare back at him. "Quiet," she snapped. "Without the Tree of Life, nothing could exist in the forest."

"Then it wouldn't be a forest anymore."

"Yes, you could put it that way. The entire ecosystem is part of the Tree of Life. It is all connected. The whole forest... it is really one big tree. And all of the animals live in the tree, and the watering holes were created by the tree. Of course, nobody in the aboveworld cares about any of that..."

"What is the 'aboveworld?'"

"That is above the trees, were Camo is from. I have only been there a few times. My... er, my Master did not want me there."

"Why?"

"Ah, he said that it is dangerous. H-He did not want me to be hurt..." She stopped after that. Like Whirlwind said, it was too soon. Her late Master was a very sensitive subject.

Sunburn understood. He had witnessed first hand when Stealth Elf poured all of her sorrows out to Eon just after it happened. But also, just like her, he had lost someone very close to him.

"Sorry about that," he apologized. "So, how long did you live there?"

Stealth rubbed her eyes. "I... I think seven years."

"And you're eleven?"

"Yes, I think so."

Sunburn paused to do the math. "So you've been there since you were four?"

Stealth tilted her head. She didn't understand where he had gotten that number, but she said yes anyway.

Sunburn was going to respond, until he noticed that an entire fleet of Troll airships was flying towards them. "Uh-oh."

"'Uh-oh?'" Stealth sprung up and rushed to see what he was looking at. "What 'uh-oh?'"

"Looks like Kaos found us," Sunburn growled. "Luckily for us, I spotted them before they got too close. Do you know how to drive and/or fire a cannon?"

Stealth narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'll take that as a 'no.' Okay, what to do..." The fleets were getting closer every moment that he didn't take action. "If we try to retreat, they could catch us. If I have her steer while I fire, she could crash us... crash... the ship... crash the ship! Of course!" He nodded. "Okay, I'm going to crash the ship."

"Eeeeeeh?" Stealth blinked. "Uh, I do not know much about airships, but is it not bad to crash them?"

"No, I'm going to crash it into that left island so they'll follow it. We're going to escape to the right island. They won't suspect a thing."

Stealth twiddled her thumbs. "If you say so..." she said quietly. "B-But, how are we going to get to the island?" The ships were getting closer.

"I'm gonna carry you there," Sunburn replied.

"You can really fly?"

"Of course I can fly! Now I'm going to wait until they start firing at us." He turned their ship to the left. "They'll think they shot our propellers."

"When will they start firing?"

Suddenly they were being shot at.

Sunburn blinked. "I'd say right about now!" He sent the ship plummeting towards the left island. "Alright, let's go! And remember, we have to be discreet!"

"What is 'discreet?'"

 _(She's a ninja who doesn't know what discreet means. Great.)_ "I'll explain later!" Sunburn flapped his wings and grabbed Stealth, then soared off of the ship. Just as he had planned, the Trolls were too busy chasing the abandoned vessel to notice that they had fled. "Heh. Trolls are stupid."

Stealth looked down at the endless void of sky below them. She had been trying not to, but couldn't help it. Upon seeing that there was virtually nothing below them, she yelped and latched onto Sunburn's leg. "Oof! Okay, please don't do that." Sunburn looked down at her. She was petrified. "Um, are you okay?"

"I m-may be just a l-little afraid of h-heights..." Stealth stammered.

Sunburn sighed. "Well, that's just great. Don't worry, we're almost there. Hold on!"

He swooped down, making sure that Stealth wasn't going anywhere. He dodged a couple of trees- it seemed to be a forest -and came to a halt. He hovered above the ground, but Stealth didn't seem to have realized where they were. Her eyes were shut tight. "Hey." Sunburn poked her. "You can let go now."

"Huh?" Stealth opened her eyes to find that there was ground below her. "Oh." She hopped down and Sunburn landed next to her. He noticed that she was a bit red in her face.

He laughed. "Hey, it's okay to be afraid of heights," Sunburn told Stealth. "Lots of people are!"

Stealth's ears drooped. "Really?" she asked.

Sunburn nodded and set a talon on her shoulder. "Really." Much to his surprise, he was touching her, and she wasn't punching him. She didn't even snap at him. It seemed that he had either broken or fixed her, though he wasn't sure which one.

After Sunburn removed his hand, Stealth observed, "This island is a forest."

"Yeah, it is." Sunburn was still bewildered by his partner's sudden change of attitude. He glanced up to find that the sky was becoming a wondrous shade of orange. "It's getting late. Let's find a place to rest and keep moving in the morning."

Stealth nodded. "I am tired." She stretched her left arm. "I can find a place to stay."

"Alright! Lead the way, forest girl."

Stealth scowled. "Do not call me that."

Sunburn shrugged. "Okay, I'll call you 'elf girl.'"

"That one is worse..." Sunburn was extremely annoying. But- stealth couldn't believe she was thinking this- he was also rather charming. Well, he had his moments. He was certainly nicer than Stealth had expected. Maybe... Maybe she liked him after all.

Apparently Stealth Elf is an expert on finding hollowed trees, because it took only a few minutes for her to find one. Sunburn was pleased to find that there was no grass growing inside. Stealth watched with a puzzled expression as he gathered a bunch of rocks and twigs and arranged them in an orderly pile. Then he breathed fire on them.

Stealth jumped. "Y-Y-You can shoot f-fire out of your b-beak?"

"Well, yeah," Sunburn replied. "I'm half phoenix half dragon. Of course I can breath fire!"

Good thing, too. They could have been there for forever and a day trying to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. Stealth Elf warmed her hands over the fire while Sunburn arranged two nests for them to sleep in. "The longest mission I've ever been on lasted for five days," Sunburn said when he joined Stealth. "It was me, Chop Chop, and Wham-Shell. We had to chase some bastard into the Underworld, but he trapped us in this huge maze that took four days for us to escape from. When we finally got out, we spent the entire fifth day tracking the guy down... But that's just the longest mission that _I've_ been on. Spyro and Gill Grunt were gone for two weeks one time."

"Wow. How long do you think this mission will take?" Stealth inquired.

"If we're lucky, we'll be done tomorrow." Sunburn replied. "But we could be stuck here a while. It's better than being captured of dead, at least. I'll check to see if there's anybody else on this island tomorrow. If not, I'll fly out to get help. I'm sure you'll be fine here on your own."

Stealth nodded. "I will. Do not worry about me. I am very good at hiding."

"Whirlwind told me you can turn invisible."

"I can."

Sunburn smiled. "Okay, that's the coolest thing I've heard all day. Can you do it right now?"

"I can," Stealth replied. "but I am not going to."

Sunburn laughed. He was quite pleased with himself for developing Stealth's character this much in one day. He wasn't sure if she thought of him as a friend just yet, but he was determined that she would soon. After all, he liked her.

"Um..." Stealth muttered. "So, uh... where are you from?"

Sunburn cocked his head. "Really? You want to know?"

Stealth nodded. "I told you about me. And, I know you like to talk about yourself. So... go ahead! Tell me your life's story."

Sunburn smiled. "Well, I came from a place called 'Dragon's Peak...'"

* * *

Whirlwind was sitting on the beach just outside the Citadel, watching the sunset. Normally she loved the warm colors in the sky at the end of the day, but that day... that day, the sunset was unsettling to her.

Trigger Happy bounded away from the docks where he had been fishing (with his hands). When he noticed that Whirlwind was there, looking depressed, he dashed over to her. "Hey, Whirlie," he said. "What's the matter?"

Whirl sighed. "It's just... Stealth Elf and Sunburn have been gone all day! They haven't come back yet... I can't help worrying about them."

"Whirlwind, missions can go on for a really long time," Trigg reminded her. "Wait, Sunburn? He he! I wonder how many times elf girl has punched him by now."

Whirl scowled at him. "Her name is 'Stealth Elf.' And haven't you noticed that a bunch of the other Skylanders have disappeared? If anything happens to Sunburn and Stealth Elf..."

Trigg clenched his teeth. "I... I'm sure they're fine." He was lying. "Don't worry about it! I'm sure they'll be back tomorrow afternoon. Just wait! You'll see!" For a moment, he was silent. He listened to the waves crashing against the shore., which normally couldn't be heard over the chaos that the Skylanders caused. "It really has gotten quiet around here."

He had no idea how right he was. It was so quiet that Kaos had started sending his minions to the Citadel to capture the Skylanders in their own home. There could have been one directly behind them and they wouldn't have even noticed.

In fact, there was.

* * *

|| Ugh, this story suffers from telling instead of showing _so hard._ At least the telling is relevant here, unlike... in _some_ stories...

I think that the awful pacing was, like, a running gag in this series. Literally every story takes place over the course of just one or two days. Actually I'm pretty sure that Sidekicks was three? But Sidekicks was just objectively the best story in this series, and it never got finished anyway.

Oh, and Whirlwind x Trigger Happy was totally gonna be a thing. I don't know if it still will be in the reboot, because Whirlwind's entire character is pretty much centered around Stealth Elf, but we'll see how things turn out. ||


	28. Sunburn and Stealth Elf: 4

|| And here we have chapter 4 of Sunburn and Stealth Elf, AKA "the part where it turns into a bad soap opera". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

It was around eight o'clock when Sunburn awoke the next morning. Stealth Elf had totally crashed immediately after he'd finished his story, which was to be expected as she hadn't slept in nearly forty-eight hours. Sunburn stood up and stretched, yawned loudly, then stepped outside the tree. The Sun was high in the sky, though it wasn't glaring because the trees were blocking a lot of it's light. He wandered a bit, not straying too far from the hollow tree, until deciding to sit down on the grass. He cast a glance back to the tree, then, bored out of him mind, began to sing quietly.

"Well, I don't show off, don't criticize

"I'm just livin' by my own feelings

"And I won't give in, won't compromise

"'Cuz I only have a steadfast heart of gold

"I don't know why, I can't leave though it might be tough

"But I ain't out of control, just livin' by my word

"Don't ask me why, I don't need a reason

"I got my way, my own way..."

In her corner, Stealth stirred. Sunburn wasn't very good at being quiet. She sat up and grumbled, fixed her hair, then stepped outside to see what the hell Sunburn was up to.

"It doesn't matter

"Now what happens, I will never give up the fight

"Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight

"It doesn't matter who is wrong and who is-"

"What are you doing?" Stealth cut him off, successfully scaring the crap out of him.

Sunburn turned back to her, trying to regain his complexion and look as though she hadn't freaked him out. "Oh, er, uh, hey Stealth Elf. I, uh, what are you doing up already?"

Stealth glanced up at the sun, quickly determined it's position, then replied, "I would not be if you had not woken me up."

Sunburn sweatdropped. "Oh, sorry... I'm sort of loud by nature."

"I can tell." She sat down beside him, inhaled deeply, and exhaled. "It is a beautiful day, hm?"

Sunburn nodded. "Yeah... Man, what I give to be back at the Citadel instead of on a mission. Eh... speaking of which, we should get a move on. The longer we stand here doing nothing, the worse things are going to get." He stood himself up and started forward. "Go back to sleep," he instructed. "I'll be back soon."

With a scowl, Stealth replied, "No. I am going with you." she declared promptly.

"We agreed yesterday," Sunburn reminded her. "You stay. I go. Got it?" Stealth Elf was just sort of... staring. "Nngh, don't do that! It's creepy!" The phoenix sighed. "Look, you can come after me if I don't return in three hours, got it?" She was still staring at him. "You have no idea what an hour is, do you?" Stealth shook her head. Sunburn looked away in exasperation. "Okay, right then... Just come looking for me when I've been gone for a long time, okay?"

Stealth nodded slowly. "Okay..."

Sunburn flashed a smile, then turned back around to leave.

"U-Um..." He turned back, his left eye twitching. "Y-You have been gone a long time..."

Sunburn blinked. Then he smiled again. "Stay put, alright? That's all I ask. I'll be back soon."

He left before Stealth Elf could manage a response. She watched him go. "How soon...?"

* * *

"Yes! Yes!" Kaos exclaimed. "At long last! Victory is mine!"

Glumshanks tilted his head. "'At long last?' Sir, it hasn't even been two days."

"I know." Kaos smirked. "I'm just awesome like that."

Whirlwind, in a cell with her name etched over it, was shooting a death glare at the Dark Portal Master. Trigger Happy was scratched eagerly at the glass separating him from Kaos, who was tauntingly spinning one of his goldslinging guns on his finger.

While Kaos cackled heartily, Glumshanks was taking a closer look at the capsules in the wall. He clenched his teeth. "M-My lordship..." he stammered.

 **"What?!"** Kaos snapped. "Can't you see I'm busy making people miserable?!"

"I hate to break it to you, sir, but you're celebrating too soon."

Questioningly, Kaos looked back up at the thirty-two capsules in the wall. Sure enough, and much to his shock, only thirty of them were filled. **"WHAT?!"** he roared. "How could this have happened?! All of the search parties came back positive! **Glumshanks!"**

The troll jumped. "U-U-Uh... one of the parties must have failed and panicked... Lied about being positive. Maybe."

Kaos growled and turned away. The Skylanders were muttering among themselves, and Trigger Happy heard Whirlwind say determinedly, "Sunburn and Stealth Elf." "Ugh, those filthy little-!" said Kaos in frustration. "Agh, you can't even trust your own minions to do anything these days!"

Glumshanks was fighting the urge to say "Well maybe if you paid them..." but he instead said, "What do you suggest, my lord?"

Kaos folded his arms and tapped his foot. For a moment, it was silent. Even the Skylanders (those that weren't unconscious) were anxiously awaiting his response. "Glumshanks," the Portal Master said. "I want you to hire Bounty Hunters."

His servant looked taken aback. "B-Bounty Hunters, my lord?" Kaos nodded. "B-But, those are even _less_ reliable that what you already have! B-Besides, how are we supposed to pay them?"

Kaos shot one of Trigger Happy's guns and grabbed the coin out of the air. "Money isn't and issue." Glumshanks clenched his teeth. **"Go now!"** Kaos barked. With that, the troll scurried away.

* * *

Stealth Elf was sitting quietly inside the hollowed tree, drawing in the dirt with a stick. This was generally her favorite pastime, besides stabbing things. She wasn't sure what exactly she was drawing. Most of it was total nonsense. Some of it made some form of sense. A lot of it would only make sense to somebody who was very in touch with nature, a Life element. Or maybe none of it made any sense whatsoever. It was very difficult to tell.

The thing is that Stealth wasn't really paying attention to what she was doodling. For some reason, her mind was fixed on Sunburn, and she couldn't draw her thoughts away from him. _(The numskull,)_ she thought. _(Why do I care? I do not. I do_ not _care. I_ should _not care. I should just wait for him like he said, and then finish the mission...)_ She startled herself upon realizing that she was starting to draw the Fire Elemental emblem. She quickly wiped it out of the dirt, making sure that there was no trace of it ever being there in the first place. She heaved a sigh. _(This is stupid.)_

She stood up and walked outside, her legs somewhat numb as she had been sitting in a _seiza-_ style (sitting upon the legs, or kneeling). That didn't happen very often. Or maybe she just didn't notice it normally, as it was the way she always sat. She glanced up at the sun, which was marginally farther from the spot it was in when she had last checked it. It had been nearly two and a half hours since Sunburn had left to explore the island, though Stealth had no real way to determine this. However, she could tell that it had been a reasonable amount of time, and it would probably be sensible to look for him now. She questioned why she was actually worried about his return, eventually drawing the conclusion that she had no way to leave without him. Making sure that both of her daggers were in hand, she scaled a tree and set out.

* * *

Sometime later, on the other side of the island, Sunburn was soaring above the trees. He had already checked every centimeter of the island's ground, and there was nothing living there at all besides the plants. He'd thought maybe that there was something or someone hidden in the sky, but he seemed to be mistaken. "Well, this was a big waste of time." He flapped his wings and set back in the direction of the tree. "Ugh, if Stealth left to look for me then I have to go track her-" But before he could finish his thought, something blasted his wing and her came spiraling down. "Ugh! Wha-?! **Ow!"** He crashed through the branches of a tree and landed on the ground with a loud **THUMP!** Carefully he rolled onto his stomach, as he had landed on his back, and stood back up. The phoenix shook himself, then cast a glance to his bleeding wing. "Okay, who's the wise guy?!"

Somebody chuckled from a few meters away, and Sunburn swung around to face them. It was a Fire Spell Punk, smirking mischievously, accompanied by a Loose Cannon and a Drow. The Drow, unlike most, didn't wear a mask, and still had his pupils. He looked generally untrained and unprofessional, though the spear he was carrying looked lethal. The Loose Cannon was wearing a very unamused expression, unlike his companions. "Nice shot," the Spell Punk chuckled. The Loose Cannon Troll grunted in response.

"Who the hell are you?!" Sunburn exclaimed.

"Nobody important," the Spell Punk replied with a shrug. "But, uh, we are gonna have to ask you to come with us."

The Drow snickered. "Yeah, don't give us any trouble, guy," he added.

Sunburn growled. "I'll be damned if I go willfully with minions of Kaos."

"Minions?" The Spell Punk chuckled once more. "No way, nope. He just hired us to pick up you nuisance. And your friend." He turned to the Troll. "He is supposed to have a friend, isn't he?" The Troll shrugged.

"Yeah, he is," the Drow replied. "What's the plan, boss?"

Sunburn anxiously backed away, but was stopped when the Loose Cannon shot him again. The blast only grazed him, but it still caused him to stumble. "Eh, just follow my lead," the Punk said casually, wiggling his wand at Sunburn and causing him to flinch. As the Spell Punk continued to wave his wand, Sunburn's eyes drooped, and he slowly... became... unconscious...

* * *

"Sunburn?" Stealth Elf called. She bounded from one tree to another, her ears perking at the slightest of sounds. _(Where...?)_ It seemed like it would have been smarter for her to stay in the tree. At least then Sunburn would know where she was. For all Stealth knew, Sunburn was returning to the tree at that very moment. Now the question was whether or not it was best to keep searching for him or to go back. She just didn't know... but it turned out she didn't have to. "Sunburn!" She'd found him sitting in alone clearing. Apparently he hadn't found anybody on the island, but what was he doing just sitting there? Stealth leaped down to meet him, and Sunburn glanced at her.

"What are you doing here?" he growled.

Stealth blinked. "Um... y-you told me to-"

"I _told_ you to stay in the tree," Sunburn snapped. "Don't you know how to follow orders?"

Stealth's ears drooped slightly. She was somewhere between confused and angry, though she was trying not to show that she was either. "I-"

"I'll have you know that I'm Spyro's second in command," Sunburn was quick to cut her off. "and if you're going to be a Skylander, you have to learn how to follow orders." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Unless you don't _really_ plan on being a Skylander..."

"W-What?"

"Unless Chop Chop was _right,"_ Sunburn continued with a rasp that wasn't normally present in his voice. "You _are_ a double-agent, aren't you? In fact, I'll bet _you_ killed that tree guy and _framed_ that other tree guy! Is that right?!"

He'd hit a nerve with that accusation, but Stealth couldn't come up with a response.

Sunburn cast her a death glare. "If I were you, I'd leave before Eon saw through your disguise." But Stealth Elf didn't move. She was returning his glare steadily. "Go on! Go!" Sunburn shouted. "Go back to whatever spawn you came from."

Stealth still returned his gaze, but after a moment, gave up. "Fine." She turned and approached the tree that she came from, casting Sunburn another glance back. However, she scrambled up the tree without hesitation when he yelled "Go!" at her again. Sunburn watched her leave with somewhat of a smirk on his face. When she was well out of sight, Sunburn groaned and collapsed.

The Fire Spell Punk from before floated out of his body, snickering madly. His companion, the Loose Cannon, stepped out of the bushes. "Where's the other one?" the Spell Punk asked. The Troll pointed in the direction Stealth Elf had gone. "Already? Heh, you can always trust that guy to be right on top of things." They both turned to the unconscious Sunburn. "What do we do about this one? Poke him?" The Troll gave him a baffled look.

* * *

Stealth punched a tree and growled loudly. She tried to collect herself, pressing both hands against the tree in frustration, but it didn't seem to be working. She took took a couple steps back and fell to her knees. "Calm... down... calm..." She slowed her breathing back to it's normal pace. Then she stayed right where she was for a while. "Stupid... stupid Sunburn..." she muttered.

Something poked her in the back, and her ears perked. "What?" she grumbled without turning.

"Some day, huh?" somebody said. They walked around Stealth so she could see them. It was the unprofessional-looking Drow with the spear. "I saw you arguing with that guy. What a jerk."

Stealth looked up at him, then quickly back down. "What do you want?"

"Those Skylanders are a bunch of losers, y'know," said the Drow. "No respect, nope. None of 'em. You don't belong with them." Stealth was quiet. "I heard what that jerk accused you of. No respect, nope. Not him, not nobody. _I_ know you're not guilty." Stealth still didn't reply. "You know who else know's you're not guilty?" the Drow asked, still being met with silence. _"Kaos."_

Stealth looked up at him uncertainly. "Him?"

"Yep." The Drow smirked. "Now that guy's got respect, yep. You should leave those Skylanders. Come with me. Go to Kaos. You're way better off with him."

Stealth Elf scowled and shot her gaze to the side. "My Master taught me to recognize the difference between Light and Dark," she growled. "I will die before I side with the Dark."

The Drow frowned. "Alright, then..." Stealth soon found his spear pointed at her throat. "I'm gonna have to ask that you come with me."

Stealth didn't move. She didn't say anything. She just sighed.

* * *

"I'm not poking him! You poke him!" Reluctantly, the Loose Cannon was poking Sunburn with a stick. "Be careful, my magic weakened him," the Spell Punk reminded him. The Troll continued poking until Sunburn started to stir. He opened his eyes, and upon realizing what had happened, shot up to his feet.

"Where is she?!" he roared. "Where's Stealth Elf?! What did you do to her?!" There was still blood streaming from his wing and dripping onto the grass.

"That doesn't matter," the Fire Punk said. "Now c'mon. We don't want any trouble."

Sunburn's pupils suddenly became a lot smaller. "Trouble... **you've got loads of it now!"** He set himself on fire and shot himself directly at the Spell Punk, effectively pummeling him.

"Hey! Hey!" The Spell Punk exclaimed. "You! You, get him!"

The Loose Cannon charged at Sunburn, knocking him into a tree. He stumbled, but continued to persist. He blasted the Troll with his fire beam, giving it's face a good burn. It roared and fired a missile at Sunburn. It his side, causing his blood to spatter the ground again. The Spell Punk clenched his teeth and examined him. "God damn it, look what you did! He's dead now!" The Troll's eyes widened. "One of a kind, too. Phoenix-dragon. Would have gone for millions on the black market." The Troll looked disappointed in itself. "Ah hey, buck up!" The Spell Punk pounded it on the back. "We'll still get plenty from Kaos."

The Troll nodded, then pointed back to Sunburn when the Fire Spell Punk started to leave. "Hm? Ah, leave him," the Punk responded. "What use do we have for a dead guy? Leave 'im here to rot, I say." So the Troll followed him back into the wood.

And for a moment...

...just a moment...

...it seemed as if all hope was lost.

* * *

|| I remember when I still legitimately used the word "sweatdrop" in my writing. I do still _kind of_ use it... like I used sweating as a character expression, but I don't actually write out the word "sweatdrop". That's just cringey. _(Ow. I hate that word.)_

What, did you expect me to say something about the edgy, over-the-top cliffhanger here? Well, I'm not going to. There's really nothing for me to say about it, after all.

I will say that this story really exemplifies what a great character Sunburn is. In comparison to everyone else, at least. The way that he gets frustrated with Stealth's naïveté shows that he's flawed, but his will to protect her despite the fact that they barely know each other proves his strength. This isn't the only example, a keen eye would be able to catch more. That's the only one that I feel like pointing out, though. ||


	29. Sunburn and Stealth Elf: 5

|| And here we have chapter 5 of Sunburn and Stealth Elf, AKA "the part where the knight in shining armor sails down from the heavens to rescue his princess when she gets stabbed in the back".

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

When Glumshanks opened the door to Stealth Elf's capsule, she willingly walked inside and sat down obediently. Whirlwind and Trigger Happy most notably were disappointed and rattled by this. The Drow who had captured her was having a conversation with Kaos that the Skylanders couldn't hear.

"Where's the other one?" Kaos growled. "I don't have time to wait around for this."

The Drow snorted. "What, no 'thank you?'" he questioned. "The others will bring the last one soon." He held out his hand. "Gimme."

Kaos rolled his eyes and pulled a small sack out of his cloak. He handed it to the Drow, who then peered inside and pulled out a shiny gold coin. He bit down on it, and, feeling quite pleased, said, "Yeah, that's the real deal. Pleasure doin' business with ya." He extended his hand, but Kaos didn't shake it.

"Whatever," the Portal Master said. "But I have to ask, how did you get it to come without putting up a fight?"

"Simple manipulation," the Drow replied. "Boss is a genius, really. Tricked 'er into thinkin' her friend betrayed her. Came right along."

Kaos nodded slowly. "I see..."

The Drow cast a glance back to Stealth Elf, the turned back to Kaos. "You, uh, might want to keep this one," he said. "Smart, fast, tough. Might be a decent addition if you can convince 'er. But that'll be a chore." Kaos didn't seem to care about a thing he was saying.

"I-I don't understand..." Whirlwind was whispering to Trigger Happy, who's cage was directly next to hers. "Why would she just turn herself over like that...?" They couldn't see each other, but they could hear each other just fine.

Trigger Happy wasn't sure he wanted to see her expression just then. "I-I'm sure she has a plan," he replied. "She and Sunburn must have worked something out... needed her to be captured..."

Just then, a loud dinging noise rang through the building. The same noise had sounded just an hour prior when the Drow arrived with Stealth Elf. "Glumshanks," Kaos called. "Get the door."

"Yessir."

The Skylanders watched Glumshanks leave. Whirlwind, Trigger Happy, and a few others stared at the door until he came back. Others had preoccupied themselves with something else. Gill Grunt, who probably had the most positive attitude of them all, was humming a tune that he'd learned in the Gillman military service. Terrafin was knocking his head on the wall because he'd let himself get captured, and getting yelled at by Cynder for making such a racket. Drobot was fussing over his electronic suit, which couldn't do anything while he was in the capsule. However, no matter what they were doing, they all looked up when Glumshanks returned, accompanied by a Fire Spell Punk and a Loose Cannon. Kaos and the Drow shared the same baffled expression.

"Well?" Kaos asked. "Where is it?"

"What's 'it?'" the Spell Punk questioned.

Kaos twitched. "What do you mean, 'what's it?!'" he roared. "Where's the last Skylander?!"

The Spell Punk exchanged glances with his Troll comrade. "Heh. Oh, yeah. About that guy..."

Kaos glared at them. "If it got away..."

"No, no!" the Punk assured him. "Quite on the contrary, he didn't get away."

The Dark Portal Master was tapping his foot impatiently. "Well then... where is it?!"

"He's, er..." the Spell Punk was fiddling with his wand. "...dead."

There was a sudden break out of gasping, shouting, and crying. Even Stealth Elf looked up when this news was delivered. "Would you all **shut up?!"** Kaos demanded. **"I'm trying to have a conversation here!"** He looked over the Skylanders, who were now completely silent, aside from a bit of sniffling. He then turned back to the Spell Punk. "What happened?"

"He freaked out on us," the Fire Spell Punk replied. "Asked what happened to his friend. We didn't even tell him... came right at us. Probably thought we killed 'er or something. Honest to god, knockin' the life outta him wasn't our intention."

Kaos folded his arms and pondered for a moment. "Fine," he said. "As long as it's out of the picture." The bounty hunters all let out a collective sigh of relief. "But I want the rest of the details. Tell me exactly what happened, from start to finish."

The Skylanders had gone back to sobbing and muttering among themselves. Not wanting to hear what the others had to say, Stealth Elf lowered her ears and stared at the ground. "That idiot..."

* * *

"What a bunch of baloney!" Flynn exclaimed to Hugo. "Two days! Thirty-two Skylanders! How the hell did he do it?!"

"He does have a rather large army," Hugo replied. They were approaching Master Eon's office inside the Citadel. "I'm sure it will be fine. They've gotten out of all kinds of situations, they can get out of this one. Er- Master Eon?"

When they came to Master Eon's chamber, they found him slaving over several tattered and torn books from his library. His helmet was on crooked, his face bared a very worried expression. "Yo, Master Eon," said Flynn. "What's going on?"

Eon glanced back at the Mabu. "Oh, hello Flynn. Hugo," he replied weakly.

Flynn and Hugo exchanged glances. "What's the matter, Master?" Hugo asked.

"It's very troubling, really..." Master Eon muttered. "I haven't had to do this in nearly a hundred years..."

"Master Eon?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry." Master Eon closed the book he was reading and stood up. "I need a quill and ink."

"I'm sorry?"

"Quill and ink, Hugo," Master Eon replied. "Meet me at the Core of Light." With that, he walked out of the room, book still in hand.

The Mabu watched him curiously. "What was that all about?" Flynn questioned.

"Not a clue," Hugo replied. He scuttled over to a shelf and pulled ink and a quill off of it. "but it's best not to question Master Eon. Let's go."

They started down the hall, and past many of the vacant dormitories. They noticed, as they were going down the many stair cases, that it was very eerily quiet. There wasn't even any sound coming from outside. No birds. No crickets. No wind. Nothing. Something really was wrong, they realized, even more wrong than they had thought before. They dashed across the courtyard towards the Core of Light. Master Eon was kneeling there, fingering through the pages in the large and stained book he'd brought down with him. "Good, you're here," he said, taking the ink and quill from Hugo. "Thank you for bringing this."

"What's happening, Master Eon?" Hugo asked, a note of worry in his voice.

"Yeah, what's with all the secrecy?" Flynn added. "Is this about the Skylanders? Can't they fix this mess on their own?"

Master Eon shook his head gravely. "I'm afraid not," he said. "This situation has turned from a simple act of chaos... into something much more dire."

"What is he talking about?" Flynn whispered to Hugo, who hushed him.

Master Eon set the book on the ground, popped the lid off of the ink bottle, and stood up. "This ritual is as old as time itself," he uttered, dipping the quill into the ink. "It takes powerful magic... I fear I may be too old to complete it..." Hugo and Flynn watched in an awe-inspired trance as Master Eon pressed the quill against the Core's outer covering and began to draw a circle. Inside that circle, he drew another, somewhat smaller circle. Then between the circles (he dipped the quill back into the ink) he began to draw what the Mabu could recognize as the eight elemental Emblems- Magic, Tech, Water, Fire, Life, Undead, Air, and Earth –-but there were also two symbols they couldn't recognize. These symbols appeared something like the sun and moon. Eon then continued, drawing lines to separate each of the ten symbols. Finally, (dipping the quill into the ink bottle one more time) he began to to draw an odd sign in the center.

"Hey, I've seen that thing before..." Flynn said. "All over Skylands. Yeah. It's not uncommon for a traveler like yours truly to see. People paste it all over everything. There's even one on the Portals, if I'm not mistaken. It's called... the, uh..."

"...the Shattering Sigil," Hugo finished.

"That's right," Master Eon responded. "The Shattering Sigil. The symbol of all Skylands." Once he finished drawing the Sigil, he handed the ink and quill back to Hugo. "You may want to step back," he said, picking up his staff. The Mabu took several paces back as Master Eon pounded his staff on the ground twice. The orb on his staff began to glow, and he started chanting in a complicated language that Flynn and Hugo couldn't understand.

 _"I̱ gi̱ to̱n skoteiná katoikeí sto fo̱s_

 _"I̱ gi̱ tou fo̱tós katoikeí sto skotádi_

 _"I̱ seirá efóson échoun topotheti̱theí_

 _"Kai to cháos échei apó kairó antistáthi̱ke_

 _"Ótan Cháos kánei klí̱si̱ tou_

 _"Se perípto̱si̱ pou i̱ Entolí̱ pései poté_

 _"Sti̱ synécheia, oi thrýloi tha af̱xi̱theí_

 _"apó ti̱ fo̱tiá_

 _"tou neroú_

 _"ti̱s Gi̱s_

 _"apó aéra_

 _"apó ti̱ zo̱í̱_

 _"apó to thánato_

 _"ti̱s mageías_

 _"ti̱s technologías_

 _"apó to skotádi_

 _"apó to fo̱s_

 _"Ekeínoi pou échoun tis kalýteres prothéseis_

 _"Poioi échoun psychí̱ tou fo̱tós_

 _"Af̱tés eínai oi í̱ro̱es tou mýthou_

 _"O mýthos pou tha apokatastí̱sei ti̱n táxi̱_

 _"Kai kataraméno cháos sto si̱meío ópou eíche érthei!"_

The drawing glowed faintly, and then there was a blinding flash of blue light that stayed for barely a second before it left. Eon toppled onto his knees, breathing heavily. "Master Eon!" Hugo exclaimed.

Eon coughed and pulled himself to his feet, using his staff for balance. "I'm... fine, Hugo..." he said.

"What _was_ that?" Flynn asked, noticing that the ink on the Core of Light had mysteriously disappeared.

"It's... nothing, Flynn..." Eon replied tiredly. "I... I must return to my chamber. Tell me if any... er, anything comes up."

Hugo and Flynn exchanged glances curiously. Whatever that was, it was definitely _not_ nothing.

* * *

The light was dim over the forest. The sun was setting on Sunburn's body, limp, and his blood splashed onto the grass. He wasn't breathing. It was doubtful that there was any life left in him. And without Sunburn, there was nobody to rescue the Skylanders. And without the Skylanders, there was nobody to defeat Kaos. And if there was nobody to defeat Kaos... nothing good could possibly come from it. Overall, it looked like the end of all Skylands.

But then again, looks can be deceiving.

For just then, a powerful golden light came rocketing from the South and down onto the island. It blasted down upon the dreadful heap that was Sunburn and continued to engulf the entire forest. Amazingly, Sunburn's talon began to twitch. He opened his beak, and the faintest of noises came out. Struggling, he rolled slowly onto his stomach and attempted to get back on his feet. He could feel his strength very slowly returning to his body, and somehow, his wounds healing. When the light faded, Sunburn's feathers showed a powerful gold and blue color scheme. The plate on his chest, which normally bared the Fire Element crest, had changed to bare the Shattering Sigil. Questioningly, Sunburn looked around, in hopes of finding what might have happened. Then something clicked. "Stealth Elf?" he called. **"Stealth Elf!"** He tried to remember what happened. _(The Bounty Hunters. They took her. But where?)_ His eyes glimmering with determination, he looked into the sky. "Kaos."

Spreading his newly healed wings, Sunburn took off above the trees and in the direction of the setting sun. Stealth Elf wasn't the only one in danger. He got the terrible feeling in his stomach that the safety of all Skylands was riding on him.

* * *

Whirlwind and Trigger Happy were sitting miserably in their cells, watching the Bounty Hunters greedily count and recount the money they'd received from Kaos. Kaos himself was looking over the wall containing his prisoners, waiting impatiently for Glumshanks to return with the coffee he'd recently demanded of. Things really didn't seem like they could get any worse. Maybe Flynn or somebody would come to rescue them? That seemed unlikely. Besides, even if he did, he would most likely be slaughtered by Kaos' army. What about Master Eon? No, he was too old to do any rescuing. Even if somebody did manage to save them, it wouldn't change the fact that Sunburn was gone for good. At least, that's what they thought. Whirlwind still had some little glimmering hope that he might still be alive. However, when she told Trigger Happy this, he didn't reply.

 **"Glumshanks!"** Kaos roared, startling both the Skylanders and the Bounty Hunters. **"Where's my freaking coffee?!"** It was probably because the kitchen was halfway across the castle, but there was no response. Kaos growled.

"What are you grumbling for?" Terrafin questioned with a nasty tone in his voice.

"Yeah," Slam Bam added. "You've got no reason to. Your worst enemies are all either in your possession or dead. You should be happy."

Kaos glared at them. "I'm _not_ happy," he flouted. "because **I don't have any coffee!** "

The Skylanders groaned in exasperation.

"What a brat!"

"He's too young for caffeine!"

 **"If you don't shut up,"** Kaos bellowed. **"I'll personally rip out all of your tongues!"**

"Joke's on you," Prism Break chortled. "I don't have a tongue."

Kaos was going to make a snappy come back, but was stopped by a loud shriek and something that made the entire castle shake. "-the hell?!" said Kaos. Glumshanks suddenly stormed in to the room, shaking in his boots and looking traumatized. This intrigued the Skylanders. "Glumshanks, there better be a cup of coffee in your pockets..." Kaos began.

"No coffee!" Glumshanks exclaimed, flailing frantically on the key pad that shut the door to the room. "No time for coffee! Close the door! Close the door!"

Kaos marched over to him and slammed his servant against the wall. "Glumshanks, when I say I want coffee, I mean-"

The castle rattled again. A bright gold light flashed from down the hall. **"Where the hell is Kaos?!"** the source of the commotion boomed.

Kaos' eyes widened and he started punching the code into the key pad. "Close the door! Close the door! Close the door!" As the cast-iron door shut itself, Trigger Happy could have sworn he saw something fly directly in front of it, if only for a split second.

"Ooh, did you see that?!" he exclaimed. "It was shiny!"

"Y-Yeah!" Whirlwind said. "But... what...?"

As if to answer her question, a ring of blue fire began to form in the center of the room, and from it materialized a shining figure- Sunburn. "Forgot I could teleport, eh?" he scoffed.

 **"Sunburn!"** the Skylanders cried joyously over Kaos and Glumshanks' screaming. "He's shiny!" Trigger Happy added.

Sunburn glanced back at the wall. "Holy crap!" he exclaimed, then immediately whipped his head back around to face Kaos. "You're lucky I don't murder you right here and now."

Kaos clenched his teeth. "Y-You three!" He pointed to the Bounty Hunters, who were trying to sneak out a window. "Contain this thing and I'll double your pay!"

"No way!" The Fire Spell Punk cried.

"In your dreams!" the Drow said.

Kaos smiled nervously. "Did I say double? I meant triple!"

The Bounty Hunters exchanged glances and nodded. They quickly leaped over and surrounded Sunburn. "This time," the Spell Punk taunted. "yer gonna stay dead, yeah!"

Sunburn narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, no." The three dove at him, and he teleported away from them. He glanced around the room, then dashed over to what appeared to be a control panel. As the Bounty Hunters regrouped, Sunburn slammed down on a large button with the word "RELEASE" written over it on masking tape. Sure enough, this button opened the glass doors on all thirty-two capsules. "Alright!" he said. He teleported over to the keypad on the wall, bashed Kaos in the stomach, and tore the keypad and it's wiring out. This caused the door to reopen. "Come on, let's get out of here!"

The Skylanders began flooding out of their cells and through the door, although Whirlwind and Trigger Happy stayed to give the Bounty Hunters a good beating. The only person who stayed put was Stealth Elf. Sunburn was quick to notice this. "Stealth Elf," he called. "c'mon! Let's go!" Stealth still didn't move. She was just staring at him again. Sunburn sighed and walked over to her. "Come _on,_ we can't stay here. Look, I don't know what those Bounty Hunters did, but I promise you, you can _trust me."_ Stealth's expression lightened a bit, but she still didn't look completely convinced.

"H-Hey!" Sunburn turned to find that the Loose Cannon had Double Trouble and Zook pinned down. Sunburn glanced pleadingly at Stealth Elf, then zoomed away to help them. She cautiously stepped out of her cell, still not completely sure what was happening.

"Heya, sweet heart." Stealth turned to find that the Drow from before was there, spear handy.

She glared at him. "What do you want?"

"Hey, if yer not gonna stay with Kaos, and yer not gonna go with those Skylosers," the Drow said flirtatiously. "why don't you come with us? There's always room for a lady... I'm so bored of being surrounded by men."

Stealth looked somewhat disturbed. "I-I am eleven!" she exclaimed. "A-And I am _not_ going with you!"

The Drow frowned. "Suit yourself." He swung his spear at her, but she moved to the side. Without her daggers, it took a moment longer than usual to decide on a tactic. When he swung at her again, she ducked down and swept him off his feet. Hoping that he would stay down, Stealth stood back up and started towards the open door. But she hadn't gotten far before the Drow grasped her spear and hurled it at her, striking her back.

 **"Stealth Elf!"** Sunburn and Whirlwind cried. Sunburn clawed the Troll he was busy with in the face, then rushed to her side. "Stealth Elf..." She was unconscious, blood spilling from her wound. Sunburn swallowed. There was something awful about this picture that gave him the worst sense of déjà vu. He pulled the spear out of her back and angrily tossed it back at the Drow, then took Stealth in his arms and flew over to Whirlwind and Trigger Happy. "Here," he said. "Take her. I'll be right back." Trigg carefully took Stealth Elf from him and laid her down on the ground.

"Y-You can fix her," he stammered. "right?"

"I think so..." Whirlwind replied, examining the wound. "I hope so..."

Sunburn slammed the Fire Spell Punk into the ground with his tail, then grabbed him by the cloak. "If you know what's good for you," he growled. "you and your flunkies will leave _right now_ while you still can."

The Spell Punk swallowed, then waved his want to signal the Troll and Drow. "C-Come on," he said. "We're done here."

"Y-Yeah," the Drow agreed, holding the spear, which was spattered with both Stealth Elf's blood and his own. "Done, yeah. Let's go..." Sunburn watched with a steady gaze as the three of them left, the Spell Punk shooting a death glare at Kaos.

"Fix her _faster!"_ Trigg exclaimed.

"I'm doing everything I can!" Whirlwind snapped. Being only half unicorn, her healing abilities weren't as powerful as a purebred. She'd stopped the bleeding, but Stealth's wound was still open. "We need to bring her back to the Citadel... I have equipment there..."

Trigg's ears folded back. "Is she gonna be okay...?"

Whirl hung her head. "I-I can't tell right now..." she said. "It's a deep flesh wound... it needs proper care..."

"We can't wait around here, then." Sunburn was standing over them. "Come on, let's get a move on."

"What happened to yer color?" Trigg questioned.

"Not a clue," Sunburn admitted. "but that doesn't matter."

Trigg smiled. "I'm just glad yer not dead. For a second I thought the author broke the universe!"

Sunburn looked confused. "Wha-? Y'know what, nevermind. Now c'mon, let's-"

"Oh, Stealth Elf!" The boys turned to find that Stealth was awake, although woozy. "You should go back to sleep," Whirlwind suggested gently.

Stealth snorted. "That was _not_ sleeping," she grumbled. "How bad am I hurt? Tell me."

Whirl tilted her head sadly. "I... don't... know," she replied. "B-But, I'll be able to figure it out when we get back to the Citadel."

"Can you stand?" Sunburn asked.

Whirl helped Stealth up. "S-Sort of..." she replied.

Sunburn supported her. "Come on, we'll meet up with the others outside."

Glumshanks watched apprehensively as the Skylanders started out the open door. He was holding Kaos, who was still injured from Sunburn's assault, in his lap. "Glumshanks..." the Portal Master whispered.

The Troll swallowed. "Y-Yes...?" he quietly responded.

Kaos glowered at him. "Don't let them escape."

Glumshanks frowned, sweating slightly, then stood up and followed the Skylanders into the hall. "H-Hey!" he called.

The four turned. "What?!" Trigg exclaimed.

Glumshanks swallowed, reaching for a lever on the wall that read "LOCKDOWN." Sunburn had seen several others like around the building. "I... I can't allow you to leave here!"

Sunburn's eyes widened. He looked up to see what looked suspiciously like a door that could come down on them. "Don't do it," he said. "Don't make me hurt you."

Glumshanks clenched his teeth. "I guess I'll be getting hurt either way." As he grasped the lever, Sunburn pushed Whirlwind and Trigger Happy forward. Sure enough, the door came down, separating the four of them. An alarm began to sound throughout the building.

"Damn it!" Sunburn growled.

"Now what...?" Stealth asked weakly.

Glumshanks approached them, twiddling his thumbs. "U-Um..." he said. "L-Listen, I really don't want to get in trouble with Lord Kaos... but..." He pointed to the "LOCKDOWN" lever. "Th-There's a hidden panel next to it... with a lock puzzle... it will shut off the lockdown..."

Sunburn and Stealth Elf looked at him questioningly. "Er... okay..." Sunburn said. "Why are you telling us this...?"

"I..." Glumshanks stared at his feet. "Well... it doesn't really matter why... but..." He looked back up. "I want you to hurt me."

Sunburn looked startled. "Wha... wha, why?"

"Because," Glumshanks lowered his voice. "Kaos will kill me if he finds out I told you that. It needs to look like you forced the information out of me."

Sunburn had a sorrowful expression, though Stealth still looked skeptical. "Well..." Sunburn said. "Okay... if that's what you want, then..." Hesitantly, he shot the Troll with a fire beam. It knocked him back into the wall, causing blood to spout from his mouth.

He smiled faintly. "Th... thank you..."

"What a downer," Sunburn muttered, helping Stealth Elf walk over to the lever. He rubbed his talon on the wall, found an indentation, and pulled a panel out. What appeared to be an old arcade game appeared, complete with two analog sticks and a title screen that said "SPARK LOCK." Sunburn looked taken aback. "What... the hell... is this...?"

"Is there a problem?" Stealth questioned.

"Problem?!" Sunburn exclaimed. "This isn't a lock puzzle! I don't know what this is!" He toggled the analog sticks, causing green and blue figures on the screen to move. "Ugh, I can't even focus with this freaking alarm!"

Stealth looked irritated. "Nngh... give me that!" She pushed him aside and look the analog sticks, moving the two figures on the screen around. Sunburn watched, baffled, as the blue figure pushed a button and went to meet up with the green figure. When they came together, victory music played and the arcade-looking-thing moved back into the wall. The alarm suddenly cut off, and the door separating them from Whirlwind and Trigger Happy rose back into the ceiling.

"Sunburn! Stealth Elf!" Whirl cried. Before they knew it, they were being hugged half to death.

"What, did you think we couldn't hold our own against Glumshanks?" Sunburn flashed a smile. "We're fine."

"So are we!" Trigg said. He rubbed under his nose. "Heh, I totally wasn't crying!"

"He was," Whirl contradicted. "Now we can't waste anymore time. Outside, move it people!"

"Hooray!" Trigger Happy cheered.

Sunburn glanced submissively to Stealth, who he was still supporting. "Eh heh... don't tell anybody I couldn't figure that thing out, alright?"

Stealth tilted her head. "Hm... fine."

When they met up with the other twenty-eight Skylanders outside, they were greeted with a round of cheering. Spyro informed them that Voodood and Slam Bam had left to hijack a couple of Kaos' ships for those who couldn't fly. However, those who could wouldn't have that luxury. Kaos was evil, but it still wasn't nice to take his stuff, so they were only to take what they really needed.

"Come _on!"_

"N-No! I do not want to!"

Sunburn was trying to convince Stealth Elf to let him carry her.

"C'mon, it's better than some stuffy Troll airship."

Stealth's ears were drooped. "N-No, I really would rather not."

Trigger Happy chuckled. "It's not _that_ bad, elf girl!" he insisted. Whirlwind let him climb onto her back. "There's nothing like flying!"

Stealth narrowed her eyes. "I do not doubt it."

Sunburn smirked and grabbed her around the waist. She yelped and grabbed onto him like last time. "You can't live in Skylands and have a fear of heights," said Sunburn playfully. "so let's fix that!"

Trigg giggled, watching them take off into the sky. "Sunburn," Whirlwind sighed. "I don't think that's the proper way to deal with that kind of fear..."

"What are we down here for?!" Trigg exclaimed. "Let's go! Go!"

"Alright, alright..." Whirlwind followed them up. "Hey, you okay there?" she asked Stealth Elf, who was still clinging to Sunburn's leg for dear life.

"She's fine!" Sunburn said. "Aren't you?"

Stealth was staring down at the cloudy void. "I-I-I-I d-d-d-d-"

"She's fine," Trigg agreed.

Whirlwind nudged Stealth, and she looked up fearfully. "Just give it a chance, okay?" the hybrid said. "It's not a long journey. You might like it."

Stealth was still unsure. "Hey," She glanced up at Sunburn. "I'm not gonna drop you. Trust me!"

"Trust you..." Stealth's grip tightened. "I... I..." She paused, then loosened up a bit. "O-Okay. I trust you." Sunburn smiled. "...even if you are an idiot."

Sunburn sweatdropped. "Heh, that's good enough for me!"

* * *

|| Stealth is such a tsundere. She'd give Akita Neru and Osana Najimi a run for their money.

You know, for being my favorite character, I sure did paint Stealth Elf to be an incompetent damsel in distress in this story. Ouch. That's definitely not gonna happen in the reboot.

Hey, this story is actually pretty decent. Far from the best thing I've written, but I will say that this is the first Skylanders Short Story that I can give this certificate to:

 **THE "IT ISN'T TOTAL GARBAGE" AWARD  
SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SUNBURN AND STEALTH ELF  
2014-2015**

Congratulations, Sunburn and Stealth Elf! You did a good! *rolls "congratulations" clip from Evangelion*

Next time, last but not least: _Sidekicks!_ ||


	30. Sunburn and Stealth Elf: Credits

|| Probably the one from Spirit Tracks, because people like to say that she's tsundere. ||

* * *

 **THIS HAS BEEN SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SUNBURN AND STEALTH ELF, STARRING...**

 **LINK**

 **PRINCESS ZELDA  
**

 **IMPA?**

 **PINKIE PRIDE**

 **DARK HARVEST**

 **DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON**

 **AND SUPER SONIC**

* * *

 **Here's what people have been saying about _Skylanders Short Stories: Sunburn and Stealth Elf...  
_**

 _"Seems like a good prequel. Tell me, are you using some of the Giants and Swap Force Skylanders here or just the original 32? Either way, Sunburn and Stealth Elf - but I never noticed any major animosity between them before in your fiction. Maybe I missed it? Anyway, this promises to be good. Keep writing! | Brilliant. Interesting, and When Can I See You Again is one of my favourite songs. Also, what was that song Sunburn was singing in chapter 3? Anyway, good luck! Is Gill Grunt getting involved next?"_ -Technow

 _"Baka."_ -Stealth Elf

 _"How can Sunburn teach Stealth Elf how to fly? He can't even fly in the game! XD Anyway, great story here, and I hope you keep it up."_ -Magicanus

 _"Ooh, if I'm Link, does that mean I get a Magic Sword? No? Aw, come on man, I want a Magic Sword! If I'm the best character, don't I deserve a Magic Sword?"_ -Sunburn

 _"Thank you for introducing me to this Ship (Sunburn x Stealth Elf) I ship it Now."_ -Leonidas101

* * *

 **Original Credits Song:** _"When Can I See You Again?"_ by Owl City

 **Song in Chapter 4:** _"It Doesn't Matter"_ by Tony Harnell

 **Next Time On The Legend of Stealth Elf:** If you have heart and soul, you can rock n' roll!

* * *

|| I was extremely disappointed in the lack of attention this story got. Of course, I figure that this was around the point that the Skylanders fanbase was starting to die down, at least on this site. Still, it stung. This was the story I had the most fun writing.

Of course, that's nothing in comparison to the sheer lack of attention _The Legend of Spyro_ has gotten. ||


	31. Sidekicks: 1

|| Welp, here we are. The end of the original, discontinued Skylanders Short Stories. Yes, _"Sidekicks"_ is the final installment, which went unfinished because I decided that I should just move on to the reboot. This is unfortunate, because I really think that this story was the best in the series. However, it just wasn't meant to be. Here it is: the final installment in the original Skylanders Short Stories. If you haven't already, go ahead and take a look at the first five. They're not very good, but I make fun of the bad writing in my author's notes. ||

* * *

 **SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SIDEKICKS**

 _June 2015 - March 2016_

Whisper Elf, Trigger Snappy, Gill Runt, and Terrabite- four best friends in training to become Skylanders. But when Skylands is threatened by a has-been villain, they'll have to use the power of friendship- and music -to save the day.

 **Chapter One**

"Well, what do you think?"

Terrafin looked up from his GameBoy. Trigger Happy and Gill Grunt had been locked in a heated conversation that the landshark hadn't concerned himself with. However, they now wanted his opinion on the topic, and he didn't even know what the topic was.

"Um," Terrafin began, "what are we talking about?"

"The kids!" Trigg exclaimed, sounding exaggeratedly hurt.

"We were talking about the kids," Gill explained. "You know, their behavior, what kind of people they'll grow up to be..."

"Isn't it a bit early to be thinking about that?" Terrafin asked, setting down his GameBoy, and Gill Grunt shrugged. "You know what really interests me? That four kids, the same age, all with some obsession with the Skylanders, were all brought together by the same horrible event."

Gill tilted his head. "It is pretty coincidental..."

" _Pretty_ coincidental?!" Terrafin laughed. "Try 'the most coincidental thing to ever grace Skylands!'"

Gill chuckled grimly. "Yeah, well..."

"Yo, elf girl!" Trigg called to Stealth Elf, who was sitting beneath a tree a few yards away, staring intently at a comic book and doing everything in her power not to involve herself with the boys.

"Don't call me that," she grumbled, just barely audible.

Despite Fin's warning hand signals, Trigger Happy cheerfully bounded over to her. "What do you think of the kids?" he asked curiously.

Stealth glanced up at him momentarily, then turned her attention back down to the comic book. "Just as long as they show up to their lessons on time..."

"Somebody's grumpy."

"You're in my light."

Trigg looked from Stealth, to the comic book, and back again. He then pulled and over dramatic confused expression and cried, "I thought you didn't know how to read!"

"I'm looking at the pictures," Stealth said, turning the page. "Now go away."

Trigg lurked back to the others.

"It is pretty early," Gill was saying. "Do you think they'll be up yet?"

"Of course they will!" Fin replied. "We told them to start getting up earlier. I somehow doubt their definition of 'earlier' is 7:30."

* * *

Somewhere else in Woodburrow, a digital clock struck 7:30 am. With this, the shiny purple iPod sitting upon it flashed and began playing music through the alarm clock's speakers.

 _"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me_

 _"I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed_

 _"She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb_

 _"In the shape of an 'L' on her forehead ..."_

Groggily, Whisper Elf pulled off her covers and sat up in her bed. After removing her hair from her face, she smiled brightly and hopped onto the floor, adjusting the buttons on her flannel pajamas.

 _"Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming_

 _"Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running_

 _"Didn't make sense not to live for fun_

 _"Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb ..."_

She dashed into her closet and dug through a ridiculously unkempt pile of sweaters and tees until she found the outfit that Stealth Elf had given her for lessons. It greatly resembled Stealth's own outfit, although Whisper Elf's was much less... revealing. This consisted of a brown shirt, barely with sleeves, and golden trim, as well as brown leggings and and skirt (being a mere seven years old, she needn't wear a bra). She slipped off her pajamas in place of her pajamas, then leaped back onto her bed and put on her boots and gloves, which unlike Stealth's, weren't fingerless.

 _"So much to do, so much to see_

 _"So what's wrong with taking the back streets?_

 _"You'll never know if you don't go_

 _"You'll never shine if you don't glow_ _..."_

She grabbed a pair of hair ties off of her night stand and tied her hair back. Her braid was a lot messier than Stealth's as she hadn't done it at many times, but it was still passable. When she was done, she snatched her iPod off of the dock and zoomed out the door.

 _"Hey, now, you're an All Star get your game on, go play_

 _"Hey, now, you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid_

 _"And all that glitters is gold_

 _"Only shooting stars break the mold ..."_

She started across Woodburrow, humming along to the song as she went. The weather reflected her mood pretty accurately; it was about as sunny as it could get, the wind keeping the temperature reflection. This was the kind of day that got people outside. Even Pop Fizz was talking to Slam Bam and Roller Brawl by the Enchanted Pool instead of being cooped up in his lab like usual. Although the same couldn't be said for Drobot, it seemed that everybody else was outside. Many didn't recognize Whisper Elf as she had come to Woodburrow only recently, but those who did know her greeted her, and her music, very happily. It was a short walk down to the clearing that she and her friends shared, but she was happy to drag it on only to greet each passing Skylander with a smile.

 _"It's a cool place and they say it gets colder_

 _"You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older_

 _"But the media men beg to differ_

 _"Judging by the hole in the satellite picture ..."_

This dragging on was dragged even further on when she bumped into Sunburn and Trap Shadow. "Heading off to see your little friends, are you?" Sunburn asked teasingly after their greeting.

"Who are you calling 'little?'" Whisper Elf replied with a laugh. "Yeah, they should be in the clearing near the training grounds."

"You mean that place where they _always_ are," Sunburn laughed. "Uh-huh, I saw them down there not too long ago."

"You must be Whisper Elf," Trap Shadow addressed the small girl, who looked up. The Swapper was practically quadruple her height.

She grinned. "And you're Trap Shadow," she said, a fangirlish awe taking over her voice.

Trap Shadow chuckled. "Yes, I was told that you know a lot about us Skylanders." He knelt down, but still stood higher than Whisper Elf. "Tell me, what is the name of the weapon that Freeze Blade uses?"

"The Chakram!" Whisper Elf exclaimed. "It's sort of like a boomerang that's made of ice, and Freeze Blade keeps it frozen with his powers. That's also how he keeps the icy cuffs on his wrists and ankles frozen."

Trap Shadow ruffled her hair affectionately. "You're very wise," he said as he stood back up. "You'll make a good Skylander. Just listen to your sensei- she knows what she's talking about."

Sunburn snickered. "Yeah, except when she's talking about math. Or spelling. Or grammar. Or writing in general. Or history..."

"That's enough, Sunburn," Trap Shadow scolded.

Whisper Elf giggled, muttering, "It's funny because it's true."

 _"The ice we skate is getting pretty thin_

 _"The water's getting warm so you might as well swim_

 _"My world's on fire. How about yours?_

 _"That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored ..."_

Trap Shadow glanced sideways at the iPod in Whisper Elf's hand. "Nice music," he said with a raised eyebrow. It seemed that he had never seen a portable music player before.

"Thanks." Whisper Elf smiled.

"You shouldn't keep the guys waiting," Sunburn suggested. "Guys don't like to wait."

"Right." Whisper Elf nodded. "See ya later!"

 _"Hey, now, you're an All Star get your game on, go play_

 _"Hey, now, you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid_

 _"And all that glitters is gold_

 _"Only shooting stars break the mold ..."_

Finally able to move on without any distractions, Whisper Elf hopped down to the training grounds and into the clearing where her friends were. There were three logs arranged in a sort of triangle, and one of her friends was seated on each. Trigger Snappy sat casually with his legs folded, strumming on the acoustic guitar that he always kept strapped to his back. Gill Runt was staring at the manual that belonged to the synthesizer sitting on his lap, and Terrabite was tapping on his log with drumsticks to the same beat Trigger Snappy was playing.

Whisper Elf grinned and strolled into the clearing. The boys stopped what they were doing and looked up at her. Trigger Snappy returned her grin, dusting off his brown fur.

 _"Hey, now, you're an All Star get your game on, go play_

 _"Hey, now, you're a Rock Star get the show on get-"_

Whisper Elf clicked the pause button on her iPod, threw it in her pocket and pointed at Trigger Snappy's guitar. The gremlin smirked and tuned his instrument, starting a tune very similar to that that was just playing. Terrabite gasped excitedly and joined him, and Gill Runt flicked on his synthesizer and played a cord.

"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas

"I need to get myself away from this place

"I said yep, what a concept

"I could use a little fuel myself

"And we could all use a little change

"Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

"Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

"Didn't make sense not to live for fun

"Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

"So much to do so much to see

"So what's wrong with taking the back streets

"You'll never know if you don't go

"You'll never shine if you don't glow

"Hey, now, you're an All Star get your game on, go play

"Hey, now, you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid

"And all that glitters is gold

"Only shooting stars break the mold

"And all that glitters is gold

"Only shootin' stars break the mold..."

Terrabite started cheering the moment they were done, and Trigger Snappy laughed in response. "Wow, Wisp," the little landshark praised, "I don't think there's anyone in Skylands who can sing better than you."

Wisp giggled. "Aw, you're sweet, but I don't know about that..."

"Well, I haven't heard anyone better," Snappy said in his usual way-too-loud voice, "so I'm just gonna have to side with Terrabite here." He moved over and tapped beside him, indicating for Wisp to sit beside him, which she did.

"So Runt," Wisp turned to the gillman, who looked up in surprise. "you got that thing working, huh?"

Runt grunted. "Yeah, but it's a piece of junk." He hit the synthesizer with the back of his hand and it made a weird robotic noise. "I don't know what I was expecting from something so cheap... Maybe I can make it better." He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a screwdriver, effectively leaving the conversation.

"Runt told me that he's building a hoverboard," Terrabite told Wisp. "He won't show me the, uh, blueprints, though."

"He told me that too," Snappy added. "I couldn't tell if he was being serious or trying to make me look like an idiot, though."

"It could have been either one," Wisp laughed.

"If the four of you are done..."

The kids flinched and turned, then looked up. It was Stealth Elf, Trigger Happy, Gill Grunt, and Terrafin, evidently here for their lessons. "I hope you're not too comfortable," said Stealth flatly, "because it's time to get up."

"Already?" Wisp questioned. "Alright." She hopped off the log and said back to Trigger Snappy, "Try not to blow up Woodburrow, alright?"

Snappy flashed his sharp little gremlin teeth. "Not makin' any promises."

"'Nuff talk!" Trigg exclaimed, forcefully pulling Snappy off of the log. "More shoot! Let's go go go!"

"Yeah, okay, I'm coming..."

Wisp said her goodbyes to Runt and Terrabite and turned back to Stealth Elf. "So, what are we doin'?" she asked.

Stealth glanced behind her cautiously. "First... let's go somewhere else..." she muttered. "Somewhere where... we can't kill anyone."

* * *

Wisp and Stealth walked down to the fields just past the Woodburrow Gate. Generally this area was pretty abandoned, as everybody either liked to stay in Woodburrow, or stray farther away. It was a nice place to sit in the quiet, or practice something that could be potentially dangerous. Skylanders could be seen here quite often.

"Stink Bomb brought us here for lessons one time," said Stealth Elf. "You can still see the spot where Zoo Lou nearly blew up Camo."

Wisp laughed. "I don't doubt it. So, uh, what exactly are we doing here?"

"We're doing something different today," Stealth explained. "What were we doing our last few lessons?"

"Hand-to-hand combat," Whisper Elf replied, "but you also showed me some stuff with balance and accuracy. What are we doing today?"

Stealth laughed, looking away casually. "Oh, this will be fun..."

"What? What'll be fun?"

Stealth looked back down at her apprentice and said, "Today, we're going to find you a weapon."

Wisp's face lit up. _"Really?"_ she exclaimed. "You mean like your daggers?"

"Yeah," Stealth replied, "but don't think it will be so easy. It took me days to find a weapon that suited me. But, who knows. Maybe you'll find your match today."

"Of course!" Wisp said. "You _have_ to find a weapon that works for you. You can't just use any ol' sword or gun, you have to find one that suits your fighting style. Trigger Happy couldn't use a sword if he tried, and if someone handed you a gun, it would be disastrous. That's why the Skylanders all try to stick to one style, so it won't, y'know, blow up in their face."

Stealth stared awkwardly at her. "Uh... yeah..." she said. "I... couldn't have said it any better myself..."

"You keep forgetting that I'm smarter than you, don't-"

"Shut up."

Wisp watched curiously as Stealth Elf dragged a large box from out behind a tree and dumped it's contents on the ground. Out fell a large variety of Japanese weapons, some of which Wisp didn't know the names of, others she had never even seen before. "I don't even know what this thing is," Stealth admitted, holding up what appeared to be two scythe blades connected by a chain.

"What should I start with?" asked Wisp.

"Whatever you want to," replied Stealth.

She began with a small silver tanto, which she dubbed "extremely boring" after only a minute's use. After that she took on a pair of nunchakku that she nearly knocked herself out with. She almost killed Stealth Elf when trying her hand at the kunai and kept dropping the sai. The chain scythe, called a kusarigama, ended up flying right out of her hands. When given a tessen, she said she had absolutely no idea how to use it. She was lucky to walk away from the katana with only a sliced bang and the chigirki turned out to be way too heavy for her to lift. Stealth Elf didn't even risk giving her the fukiya. By the time they got to this point, they had been at it for a near two hours.

Stealth sighed. "Well, that was ridiculous..."

Wisp piled the weapons back into the box glumly. _"Gomennasai..."_ she whimpered. "I'm sorry for wasting your time like that..."

Stealth's ear twitched. "N-No, don't be," she said quickly. "Like I said, it takes time... I didn't expect you to find a fit on your first try."

Wisp's ears drooped. "If you say so."

"Heya, why the long faces?"

The girls looked up to see Trigg and Snappy approaching them. "Figured you'd be back here," Trigger Happy said. "We heard the sounds of bloody murder."

Stealth scowled. "What do you want, Trigger Happy?" she growled.

"We're just checking up," the gremlin replied. "Jeez, you don't have to be so hostile."

Stealth snorted.

"Seriously, what's up?" Snappy asked Wisp. "I haven't seen you depressed since you first showed up here."

Wisp smiled weakly. "Oh, it's nothing..." she replied. "It's just that I can't find a weapon that I can use properly."

Snappy laughed. "Please, you don't need a weapon!" he said. "I've seen you beating on those practice dummies with your bare hands, there's no rush."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Snappy patted Wisp on the back. "Don't tell Trigg," he whispered, "but I'm really not that into handguns. I prefer something with more firepower." Wisp looked surprised. "Now c'mon, let's go get a soda."

* * *

|| You can tell that this story is newer than the others because the chapters are so much longer.

So those of you who have read this story before probably recall the original author's note that was here. Yes, the one where I went off on a tangent and wrote a full-blown rant about how terrible Superchargers was going to be. That was unprofessional of me, and I apologize for it. Oh, my opinion still stands. Superchargers is complete crap. But I shouldn't have gone off about it like I did.

If there's anything I've learned from the experience, it's that you should _never voice your personal opinion in an author's note. Ever._ I think I lost a lot of readers because of it. I also think that this story got quite a few favorites because of it, oddly enough. Of course, the biggest reason it got such a reaction was because... well, I went off on a rant about it. I shouldn't have done that, and that's not something I'm ever gonna do again. If I had just gently stated "I don't think that Superchargers is going to be a good game," then that would have been one thing. But what I did was completely unreasonable.

Anyway, it's gone now. No more Superchargers rant. Goodbye, Superchargers rant! It's gone forever, unless one of you weirdos decided to save it in a notepad or something.

Onward with the story. ||


	32. Sidekicks: 2

|| And here we have chapter 2 of Sidekicks, AKA "the part where the children act like children because they're children". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

"Oh, Runt~" a cheerful voice chimed. Gill Runt looked up from his project to see Whisper Elf happily bounding over to him.

"Oh, hey Wisp," and continued fiddling with his tool.

"Watch'ya doing?" the elf asked.

Runt tilted his head, readjusted one of the tubes in his machine, and replied, "Creating my own version of Gill Grunt's water blaster."

"Really?" Wisp was always interested in her friend's mechanics. "How are you doing that?"

Runt chuckled, sealing up the gizmos inside his machine. "I've studied the structure of all the Skylanders' weapons and other mechanisms, and Gill Grunt's blaster has a design that's all too simple." He picked up the shiny silver and blue water blaster by the handle. It looked heavy, the large water tanker sitting on his lower arm, but he held it with ease. He pressed a red button near the handle and two silver rings emerged from the bottom of the device, latching onto Runt's arm. Wisp watched with her mouth hanging open as he aimed at a red X that he had painted onto a tree. He pulled the trigger and a a pulse of water launched out, so powerful that it almost (almost!) burst through the other side of the thick trunk. "As you can see, Whisper Elf," Runt laughed, "some proper adjustments were in order."

"Wow!" Wisp exclaimed, examining the blaster on Runt's arm. "You really built this all by yourself?! I've never seen anything like it!"

"Sure you have!" Runt flashed a smile. "Everything I build is derived from Drobot's designs."

"You're amazing, Gill Runt!" Wisp praised.

"Thanks," Runt replied, "but you don't have to call me that. You know it's not really my name." He unlatched the device from his arm, setting it down on a stump. "Gill is a great mentor, y'know, teaching me how to fight," the gillman said, "but I feel like Drobot could teach me so much about machinery. That's what I really wanna learn about." With a sigh, he sat down on the grass. "What about you?" he asked. "Do you really want to learn ninjitsu?"

Wisp cocked her head in thought and looked up to the sky. "I never really thought about it..." she replied. She sat beside him and explained, "When I lived in the orphanage, I thought I had no future. No one wanted me. Everyone else there picked on me. For crying out loud, I didn't even have a name!"

Runt raised an eyebrow. "You mean to say that you didn't have a _name_ until you joined the Skylanders?" he questioned.

Wisp shook her head. "Nope. Not legally."

Runt looked a bit shocked. "Wow. I didn't think that was possible."

Wisp's ears drooped. "Yeah, well... I guess it is." She rubbed her eyes with her arm. "Anyway... while I was there, I spent most of my time in the library. There were a lot of books about the Skylanders, and I liked to read about them. In almost no time, I knew the name and catchphrase of just about every Skylander."

"We should really get our own catchphrases," said Runt, in hopes of lightening the mood, "instead of just repeating our mentors'."

Wisp smiled slightly. "Spending all my time alone just drove people even farther away from me," she continued. "Needless to say, I didn't think I was ever gonna be adopted, so I didn't make any plans." She paused for a moment. "I was wrong to think those things, because one day... not very long ago... a Skylander came to the orphanage looking for information. It was Stealth Elf! I was amazed that a Skylander, and one so powerful at that, would come to that little town. I followed her around while she examined the building, but I tried to keep my distance. She eventually caught on, and she approached me. We talked for a little while after that. She must have seen something special in me, because..." She sniffled. "...sh-she adopted me..."

Runt patted her on the back while she cried. "Best day of your life, huh?" Wisp nodded. "I wish the day I met Gill Grunt had been so great."

Before anything else could happen, there was a loud creaking noise. Wisp flinched. "W-W-What was that?"

Runt looked up. "It sounded like..."

The creaking grew louder, and the kids realized that the tree was falling... in their direction! Of course, Wisp started screaming,

But Runt spotted a little gray fin cruising through the ground. Quick a lightning, Terrabite burst up from the earth and shattered the tree into a billion little wood chips. "Woo hoo!"

Runt sighed. "Thanks for the save, Terrabite." Wisp was breathing heavily with the shock of the moment.

"You guys alright?" Terrabite asked.

"We're fine," Runt replied.

"What a scene!" Wisp breathed shakily.

"What's going on here?!"

The Sidekicks turned to see that their mentors were coming up to them. They skidded to a halt in front of them, and Stealth Elf exclaimed, "What happened?!"

"I blasted a tree and it almost fell on top of us," Runt said.

"Did ya see it, uncle Terrafin?" Terrabite asked excitedly. "I saved Runt and Wisp from the big tree!"

"Really?" Terrafin leaned down to fistbump his little nephew. "Great job, lil' shark!"

Stealth facepalmed and exchanged glances with Gill Grunt, who shrugged. "You two should be more careful," Gill advised.

"Sorry..." the kids apologized.

Gill turned back to Stealth to discuss something while Terrafin admired his nephew's brilliance and Wisp stood there looking at her feet. Runt gave a little smile and took his water gun off of the ground and tugged his mentor's belt to turn back his attention. "Hey, Gill Grunt, look what I made!"

"Hm? What is it?" Gill asked.

"Gill! Fin! Elf girl!" Runt was cut off when a very, very excited Trigger Happy stormed over.

Stealth Elf grumbled. "Don't call me 'elf girl'."

Trigg didn't listen. "Spyro just called a meeting!" He was still running in place as he talked. "It's in that fancy new meeting house that the SWAP Force built! Spyro didn't say what the meeting's for, but it sounded important! And he wants everyone there A.S.A.P.!"

Gill frowned. "Sorry Runt, you'll have to show me later.

"Oh." Runt glanced at the ground. "Alright..."

Stealth Elf and Terrafin bid their goodbyes to Wisp and Terrabite and they followed Trigg away. "If I don't get sent on a mission this time, I'll sue!" Terrafin exclaimed.

Wisp walked over to Runt, who looked disappointed. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah..." Runt sighed. "Let's just go find Snappy."

* * *

"Guys, we shouldn't be doing this..."

Terrabite watched from his hiding place in the bushes as Snappy, Wisp, and Runt attempted to climb onto each others' shoulders. "Oh, c'mon, Terrabite," Snappy insisted, "what's the worst that could happen?"

"We could get hurt," Terrabite replied. "Or we could get in trouble..."

Wisp rolled her eyes. "Come _on,_ we _have_ to know what's going on in there!" They toppled over, Wisp landing on her feet, Runt and Snappy both earning faceplants. "The three of us can't reach the window on our own. You have to help us, Terrabite! Pleeeeeease~?"

Terrabite stared at her innocent expression for a few seconds, then sighed. "Okay..."

"Yay!"

Terrabite stood underneath the window and let Gill Runt climb onto his shoulders. Then Trigger Snappy climbed onto his and Whisper elf sat at the top. It was just barely enough height for her to see through the glass.

"What do you see?" asked Snappy.

"Lots and lots of Skylanders!" Wisp replied. "I see Slam-Bam, Pop Fizz, Hot Dog... Our mentors, all four of them! Whirlwind, Drobot, Chop Chop... oh jeez, some that I've never seen before... and Spyro and Sunburn are standing at the front!"

"W-What happens if they catch us?" Terrabite questioned anxiously.

"They won't," Snappy replied determinedly.

"Trust us," Runt added, "they're too absorbed in their meeting to notice."

Terrabite shifted his feet nervously, causing their tower to wobble. "If you say so..." He didn't sound so sure.

"Quiet down there!" Wisp scolded. "It's starting!"

Inside the building, Spyro was calling for everyone to stop talking. "Guys, come on! We don't have all day!" The shouting lowered to an ambiance, and then into nothing at all. Spyro sighed. "Now you're probably all wondering why I called you here today..."

"Just get on with it!" Slam Bam exclaimed.

"Alright! Alright!" Spyro sounded exasperated. "I've recently received word that Kaos-"

Rage immediately broke out in the audience. Some were booing Kaos. Others were grumbling about his past schemes, even others were chattering about how he escaped the Trap Team, and Terrafin cried out, "That guy owes me five dollars!"

Sunburn called them back to attention.

"Thanks," Spyro said. "We all hate the guy, I know. It appears that he's sent troops to overtake the food storage facility not far off from here."

"Food storage thingy? That's a thing?" Stealth Elf whispered to Whirlwind, who shrugged.

"He can't take the food storage!" Wrecking Ball exclaimed.

"Yeah, what is everybody supposed to eat?!" Slobber Tooth cried. "Especially me?!"

"Don't worry," Spyro said, waving his hand for calm. "We're not gonna let him get away with this. We've got the Skylanders for the job." He turned about thirty degrees to face the heroes he had in mind. "Gill! Trigg! Fin! Elf girl!" Stealth growled at her nickname. "You guys think you're up to it?"

Trigger Happy leaped up and shot the ceiling. "I'm up for anything, Spyro!"

Stealth Elf grumbled. "I don't have anything better to do..."

"I'm getting my five dollars!" Terrafin exclaimed.

"I'm in if they are!" Gill Grunt laughed.

Spyro smiled. "Then it's settled. The four of you go get ready, we'll discuss this outside. Meeting adjourned!"

"Wow!" Wisp exclaimed. "Spyro is sending our mentors on a mission!"

"All four?!" Snappy questioned.

"What's the mission?" Runt asked.

"I think he said something about Kaos sending some guys to attack Woodburrow's storage facility for something...?" Wisp replied.

Terrabite trembled. "You guys are heavy..." he muttered.

Wisp and Snappy exchanged worried glances, and then Terrabite tripped over himself and the four landed in a pile on the ground with a loud _**THUD!**_

The window opened, and Gill and Stealth poked their heads out. Stealth sighed. "Seriously?"

The Sidekicks laughed nervously. "Um... hi..." Wisp said.

"Ow ow ow..." Terrabite groaned.

Gill Grunt shook his head and Stealth Elf facepalmed again.

Wisp grumbled. "I thought you said we _wouldn't_ get caught."

"I was wrong," Snappy replied.

* * *

"So you've got the directions, right?" Spyro asked.

"Yup," Gill Grunt replied, holding up a map of the island.

"And you've got everything you need?" Sunburn asked.

"Sure do!" Trigger Happy twirled one of his guns around his finger.

"Why'd you have to hold that big meeting for this anyway?" Terrafin inquired. "Couldn't you have just come up to us and said 'hey, here's a dumb mission, go beat up some stuff'?"

Spyro chuckled. "I could have," he responded, "but I just wanted to try out that cool little meeting house."

Stealth Elf grunted. "Of course you did..."

"You're just grumpy that he called you 'elf girl' in front of everyone," Sunburn said, hitting her on the back with his tail.

"Of course I am!" Stealth exclaimed. "How would you like it if people started calling you 'phoenix boy'?!"

"But they won't. So I won't have to worry about it."

 **"Stealth Elf!"** Stealth was stopped from strangling Sunburn by Whisper Elf, who zoomed over to them alongside Trigger Snappy. "You have to go already?" the little elf whimpered.

Stealth's ears drooped. Wisp was highly capable of looking manipulatively pathetic. "Y-Yeah," the mentor replied. "Yeah, we do."

"When will you be back?" Wisp asked.

Stealth scratched her head and glanced to Sunburn, who shook his head. "Um... probably tonight, or early sometime tomorrow," was Stealth's response. "Don't worry about it, we'll still have your lesson. It just might be a little later than usual."

Wisp tilted her head. "Okay..." she pouted.

"Don't worry about Stealth Elf," Sunburn told her. "She's survived _way_ worse than this. Just take a look at that scar on her back!"

"Uh, no!" Stealth clamped down on Sunburn's beak to mute him. "How about no?"

Snappy laughed. "Yeah, c'mon, Wisp. These are trained Skylanders we're talking about! And they're not even going up against Kaos himself! They'll be fine."

Wisp nodded. "Yeah, you're right." She beamed up at her mentor. "Hit 'em once for me, 'kay?"

Stealth Elf folded her arms. "Just so long as you stay out of trouble,"

"Yeah, and don't spy on no more of our meetings!" Trigg added.

"Stop acting like we're never gonna see each other again and just go," Snappy grumbled.

"Uh, yeah, what are you guys doing?" Terrafin said. "The sooner we go, the sooner I get my five bucks! I mean we get back. The sooner we get back."

Gill Grunt rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that's what you meant."

"We'll be back soon, okay?" Stealth assured her apprentice as she followed the boys out the gate.

"Okay," Wisp said. "Bye-bye!"

"Safe travels!" Sunburn called.

When the gates shut, Spyro turned to Wisp and Snappy. "Still got a whole evening ahead of you," he said. "What are you guys gonna do with it?"

Wisp shrugged. "I dunno. Snappy?"

"Watch Teen Titans?"

"Sure, let's go!"

Wisp grabbed Snappy's wrist and started dragging him away. Spyro chuckled. "Being around these kids kinda makes you feel like an adult, huh?"

"Yeah," Sunburn replied, "except for the fact that we're still teenagers."

"Mm-hm." Spyro blinked. "Woah, isn't Stealth Elf, like fourteen?" Sunburn nodded. "Wow, this must be pretty crazy for her."

"I caught her freaking out about it to Whirlwind the other day," Sunburn said. "She reacting about the way that I expected she would when she came back from that rock of an island with a kid. I've seen her do some crazy stuff, but adopting Whisper Elf has got to be the craziest."

"Let her do what she wants," Spyro advised. "If it gets too tough, we can find the kid a new mentor. Otherwise we'll have to ship her off to the Trap Team..."

"I don't think she wants that."

"My point exactly." Spyro sighed. "Do me a favor and keep your eye on those two, okay? They're an accident waiting to happen."

"Yessir."

* * *

|| Fun Fact: I actually wrote this entire chapter in my notebook back when I was working on _The Birth of Dark Spyro._ Crazy, right? There's an entire year gap between the two stories. Of course, I revised the writing quality as I was transcribing it.

Now, I never said that this story was perfect... a lot of the dialogue is still trash, and there's still quite a bit of telling instead of showing. But the overall writing quality is much better than the previous five stories.

Yes, Wisp was an orphan. Have I mentioned that this series was really edgy? This series was really edgy. I actually had an entire overarching subplot planned for her involving how her parents left her and the one friend she ever had died in a magical mishap... so much edge. I scrapped that, so it's not gonna be in the reboot either. ||


	33. Sidekicks: 3

|| And here we have chapter 3 of Sidekicks, AKA "the part where Trap Shadow is actually a pretty cool character who I enjoy writing". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

"Try to keep up!" Wisp called. She was standing in a tree, about fifteen feet off the ground. Snappy was still struggling at eight feet.

"I'm climbin' as hard as I can!" Snappy growled, reaching for the branch immediately above him. _"Sorry_ if gremlins aren't as physically fit as elves!"

Wisp giggled and sat down on the branch she was on. "That's okay, I'll wait."

Indeed she did wait, for almost twelve minutes in fact. She was practically asleep by the time Snappy reached her. He sat down beside her and took a moment to catch his breath. "You need to work out," Wisp said jokingly.

"Shut up," Snappy chuckled.

They looked out over Woodburrow, watching the Skylanders and villagers go about their daily business. Although they couldn't see all of the little town from where they were, they could still see a good chunk of it. A breeze picked up and Wisp and Snappy lifted their heads, letting the wind run through their hair and fur, respectively. They laughed. "Being up this high kind of reminds me of the night we became friends," said Snappy.

Wisp glanced at him and smiled. "Yeah," she replied, "but this isn't hardly as high at the Mushroom Staircase."

Snappy nodded and pulled his guitar from his back. "You remember that night?" he asked.

"How could I forget?" Wisp looked back out over the woody village. "It was around eleven at night and I was sitting alone at the edge of the Mushroom Staircase when you showed up. You sat down next to me and said 'hi,' but I didn't say 'hi' back."

"Since I couldn't get you to say anything," Snappy continued, "I decided to do this." He strummed his guitar to a cheerful, but slow tune. Wisp lowered her ears and listened.

"I knew the song you played then," she sighed.

"You surprised me," Snappy said, continuing with his song. "What was it you did again?" He smiled at Wisp, and she smiled back.

"Cause every night I will save your life...

"And every night I will be with you...

"Cause every night I still lay awake...

"And I dream of an absolution...

"Cause every night I will make it right...

"And every night I will come to you...

"But every night it just stays the same...

"In my dream of an absolution..."

Snappy chuckled. "I can't tell if you've gotten any better, you've always sounded so great..." Wisp blushed and looked down at her feet. "Not really the same the second time, huh?"

Wisp shook her head. "It's never the same moment twice." She frowned and looked up at the sky, seeing the sun almost directly over the fountain. "Hey... should we be concerned that our mentors aren't back yet? It's been almost full day at this point."

"No it hasn't," Snappy scoffed, strapping his guitar back around him. "They probably got stuck somewhere, I wouldn't worry about it."

"Alright..." Wisp hopped off of her branch and Snappy flinched, leaning over to see where she had landed. "C'mon," she called up from two feet down, "let's head back!"

Snappy nodded and followed her back down to the ground. "Wanna bet Runt's obsessing over his blueprints again?"

"I'd say we can count on it!"

They laughed and they reached the bottom of the tree. "What do you want to do?" Snappy asked.

"I dunno," Wisp replied. "What do you want to do?"

Snappy sighed. "I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"When I ask you what you want to do and then you ask me what I want to do!" He grumbled. "We can't just do nothing..."

"Is it even possible to do nothing?" Wisp questioned. "We're always breathing, we're always thinking, we're always standing up or sitting down."

Snappy nodded, then chuckled. "I like that about you."

"What's that?"

"You're always thinking," Snappy replied. "That's more than I can say about myself."

"That's not a very good way to think of yourself." Wisp and Snappy looked up to see Trap Shadow standing over them... towering over them, actually.

"Trap Shadow!" Wisp exclaimed. "You were listening?"

"Indeed I was," the panther replied. "It's nice to see you kids out and about. Mentors still away, I see?"

"Yup," Snappy responded, "aaaaaaaaand we're bored."

Trap Shadow laughed. "Well then, why don't we do something about that?" He knelt down and continued, "How about I be your mentor for the day? That way you can practice together."

Wisp grinned and tugged on Snappy's arm. "Wow, that'd be great!"

"Yeah, thanks," Snappy said, attempting to unlatch Wisp from his arm and regain balance. "But, uh, we train in completely different ways. How can we possibly have the same lessons?"

"We'll just have to do things a little differently," Trap Shadow replied. "Follow me, then."

They trekked across Woodburrow and over past the training grounds, into a clearing not far from the one where they, Gill Runt, and Terrabite usually gathered. The kids had never actually even noticed it was there. "What are we doing here?" Snappy asked.

"It's simple," Trap Shadow said. "The only thing that your mentors have in common is that they both fight. And thus, they teach you how to fight in different ways."

"Stealth Elf teaches me ninjitsu," said Wisp, "and Trigger Happy teaches him how to shoot a gun."

"Hey, that's not all he teaches me!" Snappy retorted.

Wisp folded her arms. "Yeah? What else?"

Snappy was gonna speak, but then his ears flattened and he glanced to the side. "Yeah, okay, maybe that's all he teaches me." Wisp giggled. "But I know stuff that he didn't teach me, too! I knew how to fight before I came here."

"Very good," said Trap Shadow. "Why don't we get started, then? You two are going to fight each other."

The Sidekicks looked startled. "What?!" Snappy exclaimed. "Me? Fight _her?!"_

"I don't even have a weapon!" Wisp pointed out grimly.

"That's okay, you don't need one." Now the kids looked confused. "There are many situations which will leave a Skylander without their weapons," Trap Shadow explained, "and many Skylanders can't adjust to fighting free-hand. Trigger Happy, I find, is a fine example of this."

Wisp glanced at Snappy, who said, "He's not wrong."

"So we're hitting two birds with one stone?" Wisp guessed. "Practicing battling without weapons, and seeing how we counter each other."

"Precisely." Trap Shadow nodded. "So, shall we get started?"

Wisp and Snappy dashed to either side of the field and Snappy threw down his guitar. "Ready when you are!" Wisp called.

"Same here!" Snappy added. "Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright, there are two rules," said Trap Shadow. "Don't kill each other, and don't fall off the island."

"Wait, what?"

 **"GO!"**

Wisp stormed across the clearing and towards Snappy, who braced for the impact. However, it never came. Wisp stopped short of him and then slipped behind him, kicking him in the back. He tumbled over, rubbed his nose and growled, then hopped up to his feet and threw a punch, which Wisp dodged. She blocked his second punch, then kneed him in the stomach. "'Knew how to fight before I met Trigger Happy,' huh?" Wisp teased.

Snappy rubbed his stomach and smirked. "Yeah... yeah, actually, I did." He leaped up and swung at Wisp again, but it was a fake out- While she was focusing on his first punch, he bashed her in the chest, sending her flying. "Still do, as a matter of fact!"

Wisp skidded in the dirt, ending up laying on her stomach. She coughed, blood dribbling down her chin, and pulled herself back up. "Well, that was impressive," she choked.

Snappy grimaced. "Hey, are you okay over there?"

Wisp coughed. "Ha, yeah, I'm fine, it's just blood." She wiped the crimson from under her mouth and made a taunting hand motion at her gremlin friend. "Come at me."

Snappy smiled and rushed back at Wisp, ramming his body into her. She stood her ground this time, never losing her footing even though she skidded back. She pushed Snappy to the ground and he stood just as quickly. He shot a hook punch, which she swiftly blocked, and she grabbed his wrist and threw him down onto his back. With him on the ground, she jumped into the air and aimed a kick at him. Snappy growled and looked up at her, when she came at him, he rolled onto his stomach, and Wisp hit the ground. She didn't stick the landing, wobbling and falling over. Snappy cracked his knuckles as a loomed over her. "Which one of us trained in hand-to-hand combat?"

Wisp clenched her teeth, looking defeated. But she glanced at the training field not that far away, and slipped away to them before Snappy could react. He grumbled and followed her into the training grounds. However, she seemed to have completely disappeared. "Oh, what the hell...?" He looked around, but she didn't seem to be anywhere. Even as he walked further into the training field, he had no idea where she might have gone. "Oh c'mon, there are literally like seven dummies here!" Just behind him, Wisp peeked out from her hiding spot by one of the scarecrows. "Where could she have possibly-"

Wisp then bounded out of her hiding spot, slammed into Snappy's back, and he flew into another of the training dummies, blood spurting from his mouth and staining his white chest fur. Wisp bowed deeply. "The art of stealth."

Snappy glanced back at her, wiping his mouth. "Oh, it's fine, it's just _blood."_ He stood back up and roared, beginning to totally wail on Wisp, but not landing a single solid hit. Wisp was protecting herself by holding her arms up against her face. Snappy's hits were connecting, but not dealing out any real damage.

Then Wisp hit him in the face with her elbow and he fell back over. "You might wanna learn that tactic."

Trap Shadow watched them duel, nodding slowly. They both certainly fought differently, yet they used some of the same moves and tactics. As the Swapper observed, Gill Runt and Terrabite strolled over from wherever they had previously been and joined his viewing. "Is that Snappy and Wisp?!" Terrabite questioned.

"Wow, they're really going at it," Runt acknowledged.

"Indeed," Trap Shadow concurred.

Every time Snappy landed a powerful blow, Wisp landed several not-as powerful blows. It couldn't really be said if they were evenly matched or not, but Wisp was certainly better at dodging and blocking than Snappy was. However, Snappy could take a hit better.

"I watched Cynder and Slam-Bam fight once," said Runt, "and it was almost exactly like this."

"An interesting observation," Trap Shadow replied. "How are the two fights similar?"

Runt tilted his head, seeing Snappy throw Wisp onto the ground, and then Wisp throw Snappy right down next to her. "Well, Cynder and Whisper Elf both rely on avoiding attacks and dealing attacks when there's an opening. Cynder fights a lot more professionally, of course... Slam-Bam and Trigger Snappy both try to hit really, really hard wherever their opponent is. Snappy looks to use some more strategy, though."

Trap Shadow nodded. "Very good."

Terrabite groaned in confusion. "I thought they were just beating each other up..."

Snappy snatched Wisp by the back of her shirt and scaled one of the training dummies, then angrily threw her off. Runt and Terrabite yelped and moved to the right as Wisp landed where they had previously been standing. "Is that all you've got?!" she taunted. "I'm not even fazed!"

"Then eat this!" Snappy threw himself off of the scarecrow and towards Wisp. She flinched, laid back down and held up her legs. Snappy landed on her, and with a forceful push, Wisp both sent him flying, and flipped back to her feet in a single move. Of course, that move sent Snappy right off the edge of Woodburrow.

 **"Snappy!"** the Sidekicks exclaimed, and Wisp, Runt, and Terrabite rushed over to the edge. They glanced over the wooden fence, Wisp especially anxious. However, there was no reason to fear, for then a fiery figure swooped up from the endless sky.

"Woah, you kids should be more careful!" Sunburn exclaimed, Snappy in his talons. "It's a good thing I was here." The phoenix tossed the little gremlin back onto the grass, and Snappy stood back up and dusted himself off.

"Welp, that sucked," he sighed. "Thanks for the save, Sunburn."

"There's a reason I told you not to fall," Trap Shadow chuckled. "Good thing I asked Sunburn to hang around down there just in case."

"When did you do that?" asked Wisp, who was busy hugging the so thankfully alive Snappy.

"While you two were fighting," Sunburn replied. "Trap Shadow here is ridiculously good at foreshadow." He blinked. "Trap Shadow, foreshadow. Heh heh."

Terrabite took Snappy's guitar off of the ground and handed it back to him. "You guys are really good," the little landshark praised. "I know I can't fight like that."

"Thanks," Trigger Snappy said, again strapping his guitar to his back. "I guess I need to work on that, though... I would've been dead if Sunburn hadn't been there."

"I wonder what does happen when you fall off of Skylands..." Runt wondered aloud, glancing back over the edge.

"No one's ever done it and lived to tell the tale," Sunburn said. "At least, not as far as we know."

Wisp sighed. "So, aside from almost killing Snappy..." She turned to Trap Shadow. "how did we do?"

Trap Shadow nodded approvingly. "You're both very impressive for how long you've been training. I'm sure you'll be just as good as your mentors one day." He leaned over to continue, "But remember to work on those flaws. Snappy, spend more time avoiding attacks rather than dealing them. Wisp, I must say the exact opposite to you." They nodded, and Trap Shadow stood back up. "Remember that Stealth Elf and Trigger Happy faced these problems as well." He glanced around. "In fact, I believe they still do."

Sunburn burst out laughing. "Oh yeah, you can say that again! I love it when Stealth talks herself up, it's absolutely hilarious..." Wisp laughed with him.

"Sunburn!" somebody called, and they looked around to see Hot Dog bounding over, a letter strapped to his collar. "Sunburn, I just received this... It's just addressed to the Skylanders, not anyone in particular, and I don't know where Spyro went..."

Sunburn took the letter from the little lava dog and skimmed it over. His expression immediately went flat. "I have to go," he said quickly, and his wings flapped, and he was soaring out over Woodburrow.

"Sunburn, sir!" Hot Dog exclaimed, chasing after him.

"What do you suppose that was about?" asked Runt.

"I don't know," Snappy replied quietly, "but we're gonna find out."

The boys stormed after Sunburn and Hot Dog, and Wisp turned back to Trap Shadow to say, "Thanks for the tutoring, Trap Shadow _-sensei!"_ before racing after them. Trap Shadow nodded and waved to them.

The Sidekicks darted after Sunburn, across Woodburrow, trying to keep up without catching his attention. Snappy and Terrabite actually had had to pull Runt along with them to keep pace. They saw Sunburn land in the clearing just before Master Eon's portal, and as the Sidekicks ducked behind some bushes, they saw that Spyro was there as well. Hot Dog ran past their hiding place and zoomed over to the dragons, panting frantically. "What's going on...?" Snappy whispered.

Sunburn handed the letter to Spyro and he read it over. When he was done, he looked down sadly and handed it back to Hot Dog. "What do we do now?" Sunburn asked.

"I don't know," Spyro sighed, and the Sidekicks leaned in closer to listen. "I didn't think this would happen... I thought the Trap Team took care of these guys..."

Snappy and Wisp exchanged glances. Thought the Trap Team took care of who?

"We need to rescue them," Sunburn urged. He looked legitimately angry, possibly even furious. The kids had never seen him this way before. "Who do we send?"

"I'll go," Hot Dog offered.

Spyro shook his head. "No, you don't have to," he said. "I need time to think about this... We'll talk about it in the morning."

Sunburn clenched his teeth. "But-"

"In the morning, Sunburn," Spyro growled.

"But we need to go get them!" Sunburn cried.

Spyro turned to Hot Dog. "Show that letter to Tessa," he instructed, "and tell her what happened. I want to talk to her about this."

"Spyro-"

"There's no rush, Sunburn," Spyro cut the phoenix off. "We have time."

"Yeah, but-"

 _"In the morning!"_ Spyro waved his hand at Hot Dog, who nodded and took off. "He gave us time, and we can't afford another mistake." Sunburn opened his mouth to speak again, but Spyro glared at him. "If you really care about her," he muttered, so that the Sidekicks had to lean even further to hear, "you'll let me handle this."

Sunburn paused, then bowed his head, crestfallen. "Yes, sir."

The Sidekicks concealed themselves back in the bushes as Spyro walked past their hiding place. Wisp sat down, her ears drooped, looking on the verge of tears. Runt looked at his feet and Terrabite sniffled, sitting beside Wisp. Snappy scowled as he looked back at Sunburn, sitting alone on the stone ground, looking defeated. "I don't think our mentors are coming back."

* * *

|| Sunburn is still the best character, though. Look at him there, being the best character. And Spyro is being edgy again.

Ah. This is the author's note where I addressed the hate I was getting. I sounded pretty arrogant there, so again, I apologize. I was in a pretty crappy mood for that entire year because of something that I don't want to talk about, so I didn't really have the patience to deal with that kind of thing. ||


	34. Sidekicks: 4

|| And here, finally, we have chapter 4 of Sidekicks, AKA "the part where I come off of hiatus just to cancel the series a couple months later". ||

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Very early the following morning, Whisper Elf was fast asleep in her bed. She was still stirred from the events of the previous afternoon. Not much else had happened, mostly just panicking and a lot of reassurance from Whirlwind, who was quite obviously anxious herself. Oddly enough, Wisp hadn't heard from or seen Snappy again that day. He seemed to have mysteriously slipped away after they overheard Spyro's conversation with Sunburn, so Wisp was left with Runt and Terrabite to worry endlessly about what they'd heard. They'd turned in early in hopes that the next morning their mentors would have returned, but it was nearly three o'clock and Stealth Elf, Trigger Happy, Gill Grunt and Terrafin still remained nowhere to be found.

Although Woodburrow was quiet that night, there was a quiet tapping sound that managed to wake Wisp from her slumber. With an audible growl, surprisingly akin to a sound her master would make, she tiredly trudged over to where the tapping was coming from; the window on the other side of her room. She glanced through the glass to find the source of the noise, and suddenly found herself awake. She pulled open the window to address the person on the other side.

"Snappy?!" she quietly exclaimed.

"Shush!" the brown gremlin scolded from the ground not far below. "Go get dressed and meet me outside!"

After a moment's hesitation, Wisp nodded and closed the window, ducking back into her house. Not even a full minute later, the door opened and she came out, dressed in her normal training attire and a blue sweatshirt, though she hadn't taken the time to put her hair up. She was greeted outside not only by Snappy, but also by Runt and Terrabite, who seemed just as confused as she did. "What's going on?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing, Snappy," said Runt, clearly irritated from tire.

"Can I go back to bed yet...?" Terrabite yawned.

"No," Snappy replied.

"So what's happening?" Wisp again inquired.

Snappy determinedly pounded his fist to his opposite palm, and said, "We're gonna rescue our mentors."

This startled the others.

"We are?!" Terrabite gasped.

"We are?" Runt echoed flatly.

"We are?" Wisp asked, quickly turning to Snappy, who nodded.

"Yeah," he replied. "We are."

Terrabite glanced anxiously to Runt, who looked unamused. "No," the gillman retorted, "I don't think we are. We're just kids Snappy, we're not Skylanders."

"Yeah, Spyro and the others are gonna take care of it," Terrabite added.

Snappy snorted. "Spyro? You heard what he said, he doesn't care! He'll let our mentors rot in whatever prison Kaos sees fit as long as it saves his own hide."

"That's not true!" Wisp exclaimed, probably louder than she should have. "He's just been under a lot of stress lately! You have no idea what it's like trying to lead a bunch of teenage superheroes with raging hormones."

"Neither do you!" Snappy grumbled.

"You heard what he said," Wisp continued as if she hadn't been interrupted, "those bad guys gave us time, and Spyro just doesn't want to screw up again. Maybe he'll decide to meet their demands, and-"

"When's the last time a villain kept his word?!" Snappy roared, definitely louder than he should have. "It's Hero 101, never trust a bad guy! Even if Spyro does meet their stupid 'demands,' they'll just keep our mentors and stab us in the back. We don't have any time to waste, they could already be dead."

Terrabite looked down at his feet and twiddled his thumbs. "I-I don't know, guys..." he whimpered.

"Oh, _I_ know," Runt said, "and we're not going anywhere. The Skylanders have this under control, and it's not our place to intervene."

"We are Skylanders!" Snappy growled. "If you don't believe that, then we don't need you! Isn't that right?" He looked to his side to find Wisp at a loss for words, and in front of him to see Terrabite still looking extremely unsure. "C'mon, right?"

Terrabite looked up to him, a guilty look in his sharky little eyes. "I'm... I'm not my uncle," he said quietly. "I can't fight like he can, stand up for myself, or others like he can..." Holding his arm, he looked back down in shame. "If I go, I won't do any good... You guys'd just have to drag me around after the bad guys beat me up..." He rubbed his eyes and, with a sniffle, finished, "That's why I train with him... why we train with them... I'm not a Skylander... We're not Skylanders..."

In a surprised dismay, Snappy's eyes flicked between Gill Runt and Terrabite. His disappointment soon turned to rage, his ears folding and lips curling in the standard fashion of an angry feral gremlin. **"Fine!** If you guys don't care... then we'll go ourselves! Let's go, Whisper Elf!" He grabbed Wisp's wrist and marched towards the gates, dragging her right along with him.

"Wha-? Snappy, wait!"

Runt watched them unblinkingly as the gate closed behind them, a sour expression chiseled into his face. Terrabite held his hand out, almost regretting his decision not to accompany them, but Runt lowered it, shaking his head.

After hearing the familiar sound of flapping wings, the boys turned to see Sunburn approaching them, bags under his already red eyes. "Oh god, why are you two up this early?" he groaned. "I've got enough on my mind..."

"We're sorry, Sunburn," Runt said, elbowing Terrabite in the stomach when he opened his mouth. "We just decided to go for a walk, figured it might clear our minds."

"I heard Trigger Snappy," stated Sunburn.

Runt discreetly silenced Terrabite again and replied, "Yeah, he was here. He went back home when Wisp said she didn't want to come."

Sunburn sighed and glanced through the window of the apartment they were standing in front of. Terrabite held his breath, anxious that the phoenix would realize that their elvish friend wasn't inside. However, Wisp had rearranged her pillows under her sheets to make it seem as though she'd never left, and Sunburn was none the wiser. He shook his head. "You poor kids..." he muttered. "I understand, but don't get up before dawn again, alright?"

"Yes, sir," the kids said in unison.

Sunburn smiled a weak, fake smile. "Back to bed, then. Go on."

* * *

"Snappy, hold on!" Wisp exclaimed, following her friend through the woody growth surrounding Woodburrow. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see!" Snappy called back.

Wisp grunted, tugged her hand from Snappy's and pulled ties out of her jacket pocket and proceeded to do her hair up. "Alright, so we're supposed to go to that storage facility, right?"

"That's the plan."

She tailed Snappy all the way into a clearing. "Okay, but how are we supposed to get there if we don't even know where it is?"

"Well, I did a little research," Snappy replied. "I know the approximate... general area. Probably." Wisp gave him a sarcastic look. "Hang on." Snappy ducked out of the clearing and Wisp patiently watched the spot where he had disappeared from. A moment later, Snappy returned, dragging something with him that Wisp hadn't been expecting. Actually, she really just didn't know what to expect at this point.

"Is that Fryno's motorbike?!"

"Yup!" Snappy grinned. "He lent it to me yesterday. Guy didn't have a single problem with it."

Wisp stared at him, jaw dropped, in exasperation. "You're unbelievable."

Snappy hopped up onto the bike's seat, which he only took up half of, and patted behind him. "C'mon!"

Wisp's eyes widened. "What? **No!** We're not even old enough to drive!"

Snappy returned her sarcastic look from earlier. "Oh c'mon, you're seriously lecturing me about this? I did this sort of thing all the time back home!"

 **"Of course I'm lecturing you about this!"** Wisp facepalmed. "We can't do this! We're literally breaking every law in Skylands!"

"Just get on the bike."

"No."

Snappy grumbled and slid off the bike, stomped over to Wisp and stared at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Get on the bike."

"I'm not getting on the bike, Snappy."

Snappy cracked his knuckles. "Well, then I suppose I have no other choice." He then proceeded to pick Wisp up by the waist and carry her over to the bike.

"What? **What?!** Put me down!" Snappy set her down on the bike seat. She blinked. "Well, I guess I've been convinced."

Snappy laughed and joined her, taking the handle bars in his paws. "Now, how does this thing work?"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Oh no, I don't think he's joking."

Snappy and Wisp glanced to each other, eyes wide. That wasn't either of them who'd said that, but they did recognize the voice. They directed their attention to a violet mist trailing towards them. The mist formed up to shape a body, and from it emerged...

"Trap Shadow," said Whisper Elf.

"And just what are you children doing outside of Woodburrow this late?" the Swapper inquired.

"You know exactly what we're doing," Snappy growled, "and you're not gonna stop us."

"I don't intend to," Trap Shadow assured them.

Wisp slipped off of the motorcycle seat a dashed to meet the panther, causing Snappy to groan. "Trap Shadow- _sensei!"_ Wisp exclaimed. "Please, our mentors still haven't come back and we heard Sunburn talking to Spyro..."

"Yes, I know." The panther knelt down and rested his hand on the elf's head. "I know what's happening, and I understand your intentions."

Wisp sniffled, her ears lowering. "Please, please help us..." she pleaded woefully. "I don't... know what to..."

"Do what you think is right," Trap Shadow instructed. "It is not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't do."

"But I don't know what's right!" Wisp cried. "Spyro says we should stay here and Snappy says we should go save them ourselves..."

"I will give you what advice I can," said Trap Shadow gently. "Righteousness is in the eye of the beholder. Authority figures are not always right, and neither are friends, but neither is necessarily wrong. Tell me, small one, what is it that you want most right now?"

Wisp hesitated for a moment, before replying, "I... want to see my Master again."

"And what do you think you need to do for that to happen?"

Her eyes darting from her feet to Trap Shadow and back, Wisp answered, "I... should go with Snappy."

"Is that what you think is right?"

Wisp nodded. "Y-Yes. That's what I think is right."

Trap Shadow smiled. "Then that is what you should do." He reached to his belt and unlatched one of the pockets. "Here, I want you to have this." From the pocket, he retrieved a brown cloth, square in shape; a bandanna, much like his own. He took Wisp's hand, much smaller than his, and set the bandanna in it. "For good luck, and safe travels."

Wisp clutched the bandanna close to her. "You really think we should do this...?" she asked.

"Only if you do," the Swapper replied.

Again, Wisp nodded. "Right... right. Thank you, Trap Shadow-sensei." She walked back to the bike and pulled herself back to the seat behind Snappy. "Are you going to help us?"

"This is not my mission," answered Trap Shadow. "I am not to accompany you."

"Well why not?" Snappy questioned.

"I just told you," Trap Shadow answered.

"But how are we supposed to win without help?" Wisp added. "We're just kids, if our mentors couldn't win..."

"Age is an excuse," said Trap Shadow flatly, "and you are not your mentors. You are not Stealth Elf," he indicated Wisp, "you are not Trigger Happy," he indicated Snappy, "and you have something that they do not."

"What's that?" Wisp asked.

Trap Shadow smiled, and replied, "Each other."

 _"Seriously?"_ Snappy pulled a face. "That's sappy."

"Precisely," the panther chuckled. "Now, you should depart before someone less forgiving discovers you here."

Wisp tied her new bandanna around her neck, the glanced down at it. "How do I look?" she inquired.

"It matches your outfit," said Snappy, who had no fashion sense whatsoever.

"Like a master of Stealth," said Trap Shadow. He ruffled Wisp's already messy hair. "Wear it proudly, child."

"I will," Wisp replied. "C'mon, Snappy, step on it!"

The gremlin smirked. "I've been waiting forever for you to say that."

And with that, he slammed down the gas pedal, and the two took off across Cloudbreak with a loud blare that almost definitely woke up Woodburrow in its entirety. Trap Shadow nodded, his arms folded, before disappearing back into his smoke. The footprints he left trailed not back to the Woodburrow gates, but rather in the same direction of the scorches left by Fryno's bike.

* * *

As the Sidekicks zoomed across the island, Wisp wrapped her arms around Snappy's waist tightly for fear of flying off. Whatever the speed limit was, they were far over it, and it didn't help that Snappy was nearly crashing into everything. "Do you happen to have any _formal_ driving training?!" Wisp exclaimed over the obnoxiously loud motor.

"Define 'formal'!" Snappy replied, and his friend groaned.

"We're gonna die!" Wisp cried. "This is where my life ends! On a motorcycle with a complete and utter moron at the wheel!"

"Hey, I know what I'm doing!" said Snappy defensively. "It's just a motorcycle! I've driven greeble airships and came out in one piece!"

"Did you happen to _total_ said airships?!"

"Well, that's not the point...!"

Wisp roared her dissatisfaction. "That's it! I'm so done! I'm not talking to you until we're off of this thing!"

Snappy sighed and rolled his eyes, then had to veer around a tree as he had taken his sights off the road for a moment. "Alright, whatever! Suit yourself!"

The next minute passed without conversation. There was a small amount of screaming for one's life, but no actual talking. It didn't take long for Snappy to tire of the situation and turn his attention to the bike's radio. He turned the dial and _K-Troll_ came on, playing Chill Bill's theme. Snappy's muzzle scrunched up and he turned the dial again.

"What the actual heck are you doing?!" Wisp questioned.

"I thought you said you weren't going to talk to me!" Snappy retorted.

Wisp ignored this. "Are you seriously turning on the radio?! It's not even five o'clock yet!"

"We're on a blaring motorcycle, what difference will it make?!"

Wisp paused. "Fair point."

Snappy turned the dial again, and it landed on a news station. _"... In other news, reportedly another criminal attempt in western Skylands has been foiled by the unnamed 'highway hero' who has been sighted driving fire-based vehicle ..."_

Wisp groaned. "Ugh, boring! Doesn't this thing have any decent music stations?!"

Snappy turned the dial a couple more times. Most of the channels were just static or crappy pop tunes with two instruments in the background. However, after a number of attempts, they heard a tune that the recognized.

 _"I got class like a 57 cadillac_

 _"Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back_

 _"You look like you can handle whats under my hood_

 _"You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would ..."_

The Sidekicks grinned. "Hey, I know this one!" Wisp exclaimed.

"I love this one!" Snappy added.

 _"So if you feel me let me know, know, know_

 _"Come on now what you waiting for, for, for_

 _"My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode_

 _"So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go ..."_

"Hey, check this out!" said Snappy, immediately causing Wisp to dread what would happen next. The bike then hurled off of a slanted ledge and somewhere around thirty feet in the air. Snappy leaned the bike so to do a three-sixty in midair, and Wisp screeched. They only barely stuck the landing.

 _"Got you where you wanna go if you know what I mean_

 _"Got a ride that smoother than a limousine_

 _"Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?_

 _"If you can baby boy then we can go all night ..."_

 **"Snappy!"** Wisp thundered, **"So help me if we make it out of this alive I'm gonna frickin' murder you!"**

Snappy only laughed in response. "Oh, stop! We're gonna be fine!"

 **"Stop showing off your suicidal skills and maybe I'll believe you!"**

"Alright, okay, don't get your ponytail in a twist!"

 _"Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five_

 _"Baby you got the keys-_

 _"Now shut up and drive_

 _"(drive, drive, drive)_

 _"Shut up and drive_

 _"(drive, drive, drive) ..."_

"Just take us to the storage whatever and stop **trying to to get us killed!** " said Wisp.

"Okay, I hear ya!" Snappy made a sharp turn to the left. "The island isn't that big, we should be there pretty soon...!"

"We'd better be!"

 _"So if you feel it let me know, know, know_

 _"Come on now what you're waiting for, for, for_

 _"My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode_

 _"So start me up and watch me go, go, go ..."_

Snappy perked. "Oh, hey...! I think it's just up ahead!" he exclaimed.

 **"Thank Eon!"** Wisp groaned.

The bike swerved around a tree and flew down two sets of tree stumps, effectively allowing Wisp to question one last time how she hadn't thrown up yet.

 _"Shut up and drive, drive, drive_

 _"Shut up and drive, drive, drive_

 _"Drive, drive, drive ..."_

At the last moment, just as they had almost made it all the way to their destination, Snappy slipped up. The back tire made contact with a stump that it had nearly made past, and it sent the kids and their ride tumbling forward and into a mess on the dirt ground.

 _"Shut up and drive ..."_

Snappy grumbled and pushed himself to his feet, dusting off his fur. "Ooh, so close..." He carefully licked a scrape on his elbow as his partner regained her composure.

"Oh, we're alive..." Wisp said distantly. "We are alive we are alive... thank you thank you thank you..."

"Are you okay?" Snappy called.

"Yeh!" Wisp laughed inanely. "Yeh, I'm fine! Still breathing! Stillll living!" She slowly and groggily stumbled over to Snappy and tugged his chest fur. "The next time you do something that incredibly moronic, I will personally take joy in making you _**suffer**_."

Snappy blinked. "Are you sure you aren't related to Stealth Elf?"

Wisp shoved him into the dirt.

Once the elf had accomplished sanity, they turned their attention to the building before them. The storage facility was built into a hill, as many of Woodburrow's builds were. There was a large set of wooden double doors, but other than that, there wasn't much of anything. Snappy tugged the door handles. "Locked," he said grimly.

Wisp scratched her chin. She observed the area around them. The bike was busted, so ramming through the doors was out of the question. "There must be another way in..." She licked her fingers and held them up. No breeze. She then looked around the base of the facility. Snappy watched curiously from a distance. Wisp licked her fingers again and held them near the ground. Snappy watched her move forward a bit, then clear away some leaves from a particular location. "Over here!" she said. There was an air vent built into the ground.

"Well that's convenient," said Snappy.

"Woodburrow isn't known for its good building design," said Wisp.

The grate was nailed in. Snappy was easily able to pry them up with his claws. Once this was done, they pulled off the grate and slipped into the most horribly constructed air duct in the history of air ducts ever.

"Where are we going?" Wisp queried.

"I guess we just go until we find what we're looking for."

And they did. They wandered the winding air system for a solid ten minutes, with the only source of light coming from other grates. They were never completely sure where they were or where they were going, and they saw the same grate three times, but eventually they found their way to a new location. A much more interesting location.

Wisp held her hand back to prevent Snappy from progressing. "Did you hear that?" she asked.

Snappy perked his ears. There were voices coming from up ahead. The two exchanged glances and nodded, then proceeded forward.

"...should have called by now..." echoed an unfamiliar voice.

"...shouldn't believe a word he says..." came another.

There was light shining through a grate up ahead. The Sidekicks approached it. They could hear the conversation clearly now.

"...can't believe I've allowed myself to be degraded to Kaos's errand boy," said the second voice through a heavy British accent.

"On the bright side," replied the first, "you did still get to fight Skylanders."

"Yeah!" said another a new voice, which just sounded like the first voice raising his pitch. "And who doesn't love fighting pesky Skylanders? I know I do!"

There was a sound that sounded like a smack. "What have I told you about that bloody puppet?!" the Englishman growled. "Put it away and keep it away!"

"Rude!" the first voice exclaimed.

Wisp glanced through the grate to get a better look at Kaos's minions. She saw something she wasn't expecting. She didn't like what she saw.

"As soon as this is over," the Englishman said, "I'm going back to Kaos's bloody castle and showin' him who's really in charge..." He gnashed a set of dagger-like teeth, glared with lazer-like eyes. "...because it sure as hell ain't him."

"Wolfgang," Whisper Elf gasped.

* * *

|| And, cliffhanger that will never be resolved. Sorry about that.

Anyway, that was Skylanders Short Stories, I guess. Wow, this is... actually kind of bittersweet. I can't believe the original Skylanders Short Stories is freaking dead. I mean, yes, it still lives on in the reboot, but my writing is so much different now than it was back then, it's practically a completely different series. Oh, well. The past is in the past, right? Besides, even if it does hold nostalgic value for me, the original Skylanders Short Stories series is complete trash and I'm not proud of it.

I suppose we'll round this out in the last bout of credits. ||


	35. Sidekicks: Credits

|| Once more, with feeling! ||

* * *

 **THIS HAS BEEN SKYLANDERS SHORT STORIES: SIDEKICKS, STARRING:  
**

 **WE ARE THE SIDEKICKS  
**

 **ON A QUEST TO BECOME REAL SKYLANDERS**

 **AND WE WILL NEVER STOP THE JOURNEY**

 **NOT UNTIL THIS STORY IS COMPLETED**

 **WHICH IT WON'T BE**

 **SO CRUD**

* * *

 **Here's what people are saying about _Skylanders Short Stories: Sidekicks..._  
**

 _"What I enjoy about SSS, is the fact that it's dark in a rather subtle way. You're reminded constantly that everyone's at each other's throats, and that really messed up things happen; you wouldn't want to be a Skylander. When I first read Sidekicks, it felt a bit out of place, but I realized the stories slowing down would be refreshening._  
 _The fic shows that the Skylanders are 'maturing', taking adult responsibilities. They still got a long way to go XD. What is great about in this fic for me is the fact that emotions and attitudes of the whole cast is equally explored, from Trap Shadow to the Sidekicks themselves. Even though the fic is calmer than the earlier ones, it doesn't stop feeling from being hurt, especially with the difficulty of raising a child into the Skylanders._  
 _The start of the chapter was rather sweet, we see that the Sidekicks are more bonded than the parents. While the inclusion of blood and [SPOILERS, death] makes the series more serious, now that seven year olds were written with that, it was a bit jarring. Honestly, both Sidekicks were going too far. Trap Shadow being Trap Shadow though, really seemed so in character though. That scene felt really divisive on a critical level. As per usual though, the fights are fine._  
 _One other thing that bothered me was Spyro's ultimatum to Sunburn. The "if you care about X, you'll do Y" line is usually manipulative way to get someone to comply. To see Spyro doing this made him unreasonable, no matter what the mentors were trapped in._  
 _Also, Battlecast. Pretty excited, but it's really an excuse for me to listen to SLASH! while doing anything Skylanders."_ -Adolescent Author

 _"Five Dollars GO!"_ -Guest

* * *

 **Song in Chapter 1:** some

 **Song in Chapter 3:** _"Dreams of an Absolution"_ by Lee Brotherton

 **Song in Chapter 4:** _"Shut Up and Drive"_ by Rihanna

bODY ONCE TOLD ME

* * *

|| I want to thank Technow for being a regular reader and reviewer, as well as Adolescent Author for providing me with some of the first real constructive criticism I've ever received. Thanks so much to the both of you, it means a lot to me.

If you have any interest, go ahead and take a look at the reboot. The first entry is called _"Skylanders Short Stories: The Legend of Spyro"._ If you do decide to check it out, then I guess I'll see you there! Bye, everybody! And thank you for everything. ||


End file.
